Page 62 of Fever

“My goodness,” I said, “I think I’m going to need something stronger than that.” My laugh was thin, but it ended in a dense chortle. “I’m not full, but I’m good,” I said. Needing to switch gears quickly, I changed the subject. “I’m surprised Mrs. Hathaway hired me on the spot. She seemed more intrigued with our relationship than anything.”

Josiah frowned. “How do you mean?”

“She asked questions about how we met, how long we’ve known each other, and if we were in a relationship.”

Josiah studied my face. “And what did you tell her?”

“Well, I think she could tell I was uncomfortable with answering such personal questions, so she promptly told me I didn’t have to answer them if I didn’t want to, she was just curious. So, I changed the conversation back to my resume.” I took my eyes around the restaurant then back to him. “I hope you don’t mind me asking but are you two involved?”

Josiah dabbed the corners of his mouth with a napkin then sat it down. “I’m involved with you. How can I be involved with her?”

We watched each other for a long moment. “I mean, we’re not really together,” I practically whispered, “so I just thought…” My words evaded me, and I tried not to squirm under his intense gaze.

“No, Mrs. Hathaway was a friend of my mother when she was alive. We don’t see her much anymore because I guess coming around us reminded her of her best friend. However, from time to time, she’ll reach out and tell us if there’s anything we need to contact her. I decided now was the time to take her up on that offer. She’s just being parental in a way with the questions she asked. I apologize on her behalf. I’m sure she’ll call me in a day or so to do the same thing.”

Why did I feel so relieved yet so foolish at the same time?

“Oh,” was all I could manage.

We ate the rest of our meal with minor conversation, and I could tell his thoughts were away from here. It seemed the topic of his mother made him withdraw, and several times I wanted to reach out. Every time I went to do so, Josiah would come back, and I thought maybe he was okay. But by the time we arrived at my townhome, I could sense that his mind was gone again.

“Hey,” I said, caressing his firm chin with my hand. “Why don’t you talk to me about it?”

Josiah regarded me. “I’m cool. Every now and then when I’m thinking about my mom, I wish I had more time with her. Doesn’t happen very often but when it does, I tend to keep to myself.” Josiah smiled up at me. “It’s nothing against you, babygirl.”

I smiled. “Whenever you want to talk about her, I’m here.”

“But only while we’re pretending, right?”

My eyes fluttered as I processed his question, and I felt a slight tightness in his response. “No, of course not. Whenever you need me.” I shifted in my seat to get a better look at him. “Was it something I said?”

Josiah smirked. “It seems that you feel the need to remind me that our relationship is not real every chance you get. Tell me why.”

My eyes darted out the window, and Josiah called out to me.

“Santana...”

I took my eyes back to him, and he waited for an answer.

“I didn’t realize I said it so much. But our relationship isn’t real, Josiah.”

This time Josiah turned to the window, but his focus didn’t stay there. When we reconnected, he spoke, “I’ve never had a serious relationship, Santana. One where loving someone was the center of my devotion. If I’m honest, it scares the hell out of me. Love gets into your blood and cords with the strings of your heart, magically becoming a part of its rhythm. But I fear the loss of a loved one more, so much that I keep away from it like I’ll get burned if I find myself in its path.”

Josiah inched closer to me and reached out and grabbed my face, smoothly pulling me over to meet him.

“And you know what, Santana, even I can see that our relationship is more authentic than anything I’ve experienced in my entire existence. I can’t explain it, but I sure as hell know it. So, you’re telling me, that you don’t know it? What I feel is for me alone?”

My heart thundered, and I said the only thing there was to say.

“No. You’re not alone. I—”

Josiah’s lips pierced my soul when they crushed into mine. Liquid lava ran down my skin, and before I knew it, I’d been pulled over the seat to straddle him. Hungrily, we kissed and touched with a passionate burst so inhibited I nearly came in his lap.

“Oh…” My lips parted as moans fled my soul from the uncontrolled yet dangerous desire I felt. Josiah’s lips pushed against my hot skin, sending shivers down my neck. His big hands cruised up against my thighs, leading a trail of chills against my skin. His fingers slipped inside my panties and invaded my lips below. My head fell forward, and I moaned. Biting down on my lip, my hips gyrated with the rhythm of his fingers. A persistent pulsing between my thighs made me grow hotter, and a rushing orgasm threatened to spill from me.

“Why do I want you so bad, Santana… why… why… why…”

My head rolled back, and I moaned as a storm of heat surrounded us. I reached down and unbuckled his belt, pants and unfastened his zipper. I pulled out his monster cock and yelped at its instant probing.

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