Page 45 of Fever

Chapter Twelve

Josiah

The internal struggle I was dealing with didn’t begin until the day I met Santana. I wanted to believe that our chemistry could be nothing more than two people attracted to one another. Happens all the time. But whenever I had the pleasure of being in her company, unfamiliar emotions would grip me, leaving my heart knocking against my chest. All over again, I’d try to dismiss the desire I felt, but it would always come back full force. And seeing Hunter approach Santana, turned me into a beast I’d never had to tame before.

My phone rang, and I pulled it off the dashboard just as I switched gears and headed downtown to my condo. The highway was dark, and the only thing in front of me were the headlights and the concrete road ahead. I glanced at the phone. Stacy was calling again. The girl wouldn’t be ignored. I’d met Stacy one evening after working a double shift. She had pulled up on Infiniti’s car lot in a taxi. I cracked a smile and tried to change my focus from Santana to Stacy. Long brown legs, shapely hips, and a curvy bottom stuck out in my mind. A flat stomach and perky breasts that I’d yet to feast my eyes on. When my mind made it to her face, reality jolted me. It wasn’t Stacy I’d imagined at all.

It was her. Santana. Again, there she was, even as I tried urgently to dismiss the thought of her. “Damn it,” I barked then answered the phone, determined to put Santana out of my thoughts.

“It’s a little late to be ringing someone’s phone, don’t you think?”

“Oh but, Mr. Rose, I figured I could count on you to answer,” Stacy purred.

I waited for my libido to go crazy like it did when I spoke to Santana, but there was nothing.

“How can I help you this evening, or… this morning rather?”

“Why don’t you come over here and find out?”

I had vague memories of where Stacy lived.

“Address,” I said.

Stacy offered her address quickly.

“Five minutes,” I said.

“The door will be unlocked. Find me in my bedroom. I’ll be waiting.”

I disconnected the call and tossed the phone into the passenger seat. The Infiniti showed me its muscle as I stuck a heavy foot into the pedal. What Santana and I had was friendship. There was a mutual understanding between us that we wouldn’t blend our current status. I exited the highway and made a left turn beneath an underpass. It was vital that I get my rocks off. Being around Santana had my erection on edge, and I was sure a sweet release was what I needed to refute these ridiculous feelings I was having. No divine intervention would force me on a path I wasn’t ready to take. But even as I turned into Stacy’s driveway, my mood shuffled and pulled me in the opposite direction. I shut the Infiniti down and exited the vehicle with haste, my feet taking me across Stacy’s lawn hurriedly.

The door was not only unlocked but pushed up, slightly ajar. I moved through the house and strolled purposefully down the dark hallway to Stacy’s bedroom. When I entered, she sat like an exhibition wearing nothing but a pair of thigh high pantyhose. An Eartha Kitt-like purr crawled from her throat, and her appearance should’ve made me pounce. But it didn’t. I stood there in her doorway staring at her flesh, but it was Santana’s face that I saw. When Stacy realized I wasn’t moving, she advanced toward me. As she moved, she twirled, making sure to give me a glimpse of everything she had to offer. But still, I stood, struggling with contemplation. In front of me, Stacy drifted down to her knees and reached for my belt. I watched her in silence as I continued to fight with myself. Santana and I are just friends. Nothing more, I thought. So why did it feel like I was cheating on her? I bit down on my jaw and snapped my hand around Stacy’s wrist just as my belt had become undone.

She glanced up at me with speculative eyes, and I let out a heavy breath.

“I gotta go.”

I turned and fled so fast I was practically running. I’d made it out the house and back to my car, slamming an outstretched hand on the top of it.

“Damn it!”

I jumped in and turned the engine at the same time, barely closing the door before I screeched out of Stacy’s driveway. Throwing the car in drive, I sped down the darkened street and jumped back on the highway, driving at a speed I was certain would have me in jail if spotted. I bit down on my jaw, locking my mouth in a tight squeeze as I banged my dashboard with the palm of my hand. I was feeling psychotic. Never had I allowed my emotions to rule me, and I didn’t want it to start now. It was absurd. Emotions couldn’t be trusted. You could love someone today and hate them tomorrow. I’d seen it countless times with friends and associates. Or even worst, you fall in love with someone only to lose them forever. In some tragic car accident, or home invasion. And then what? You’re left with nothing but an empty hollowness on the inside. I didn’t want that. For all my twenty-seven years, I would never get close enough to a woman where I would want her for all-time. I’d never stay around long enough.

It was my mission to make sure I didn’t end up like my father. As much as I loved him, respected him and was proud of the man he was, I didn’t want to end up marrying the love of my life, only to end up alone.

“Damn it!” I yelled again, banging the dashboard. I switched gears and exited the freeway back on Santana’s side of town. As much as I fought this, no amount of running from it was doing me any good. I was being haunted. By her image, every second I was away. So here I was pulling back in front of her mailbox. I cut the engine and didn’t bother taking the keys out of the ignition. For seconds, I sat there staring at her door.

A vicious swear fled my mouth. I tossed my arms over the steering wheel and rested my forehead on top of it as I strived for composure. My breathing was irregular as my chest heaved up and down. I shut my eyes tight and sang her name like a nursery rhyme that would make her suddenly appear. “Santana, Santana, Santana…”

I needed permission. Santana had sent me away, and I’d foolishly thought I could dismiss the turbulent desire that stirred my soul for her. What had she done to me? I didn’t recognize myself as I sat chanting her name. I was beyond sanity, and the tug of war I felt held me captive. Then my phone rang, and instead of picking it up I merely glanced at the screen to find Santana’s beautiful face smiling up at me. My heart lurched, and I sat back, snatching the phone up answering in a voice I knew sounded like some wounded animal.

“Put me out of my misery, Santana…”

I could hear her voice catch and then she spoke, low and husky, “Come back.”

It was all I needed. There was a split second between the time I left the car and was at her door knocking a malicious hand at its middle. On the other side, I could hear Santana fiddle with the lock and chain then to my glorious delight there she was. Her eyes widened at the shock of my steadfastness. Predatorily, I opened the screen door and moved inside just as she took a step back. The phone in her hand was still connected with the phone against my ear. But what held me more awestruck was the thin spaghetti strap nighty she wore. Silver and sleek, it sat against her womanly curves. Curves that were rebellious, sprouting around hips and breasts with no shame as to the allure they cast on me. I was sure my eyes darkened as the untamable creature in me awakened. Santana wore more than Stacy but standing there in the flimsy material had managed to heat my blood in such a way that I wanted to jump out of my skin.

“How did you get here so quic—”

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