Page 1 of Only If You Dare

Chapter One

Another restless night. I blew out a deep breath as I stared at my reflection in the mirror. The puffs underneath my eyes were bringing awareness to the tumbling I’d been doing over the past week. At first, I couldn’t figure out why I was so edgy; but then I had a come to Jesus moment. The reality was, I was exhausted. This high demanding job at the Houston Report wore me down. Upon getting this journalistic opportunity six years ago, I was all too happy to take on each story by storm. However, my continuous efforts to remain one of the paper’s top journalists seemed to go unnoticed. I hadn’t received a raise in two years and going after lead stories wasn’t simplistic. At times, depending on the information, I could seriously put my life in danger.

Desiree, Desiree, you are not telling the whole story…

That annoying voice in the back of my head tormented me. It hadn’t gone away ever since the moment I laid eyes on him. I shrugged. So, I wasn’t telling the complete truth. Although the paper had become a thorn in my side, I also spent nights thinking about him, wondering about him, dreaming… about… him… That was unusual for me since my last disaster of a relationship. My thoughts of men didn’t go past the physical. And they only ventured there when my flesh desperately craved release. However, I spent the last week lying awake at night, coaching myself to keep my hands from between my thighs when thoughts of him arrived. I must be thoroughly honest here. Those times were many, since the moment I saw him in my mother’s hospital room.

“Julian Alexander Rose…”

I whispered his name like it was a part of a smooth jazz melody I heard on repeat in a nightclub. Not that I did much clubbing, I didn’t. My demanding job wouldn’t allow for such basic pleasures. I met Julian on a trip to Chicago, Illinois. That’s where I’m from by the way; born and raised. My youngest sister, Claudia, and my mother, Adeline, live there together. I moved away because… we’ll for a variety of reasons; reasons I don’t care to revisit at the moment. Claudia is my mother’s caregiver. That may instantly make you think she’s disabled, but my mom is spicy and might hit you across the head with her walker if you test her enough.

However, a stroke and high blood pressure kept her from functioning one hundred percent on her own. Claudia stepped up to take care of mom. She didn’t have a choice since I no longer live in Chicago and my mother didn’t want to move here to Houston. Our father, well, he’s been in the wind for as long as I can remember. Anyway, my mom slipped and fell getting out of the shower. On her way down, she hit her head, and it knocked her out cold. When I received the call from Claudia, I was livid and horrified. All I could think was, it was my fault for leaving my little sister in charge. But I soon found out, I was wrong. Claudia had been tremendous with caring for our mother, and I couldn’t blame her one bit for something that could’ve happened to anyone.

On that particular visit to Chicago, I entered her hospital room only to find Julian sitting next to her bedside. I could hardly pull my sight away from his gorgeous face to take note of the other guy sitting on the opposite side of her bed. When I did, I could see the resemblance in his features. They were no doubt brothers and smoking hot, might I add. I took my gaze back to Julian and took in his full ensemble; from his thick black hair that sat an inch off his scalp in dark waves, to his dark gray eyes, strong nose, strong jawline, and those lips.

I shuddered as I remembered Julian’s lips, medium in size and perfectly centered on his handsome face. When he rose to his feet, I got a close up of the biceps that stretched the dark Ralph Lauren shirt he wore. His build was muscular, and I felt no shame as my eyes roamed down to the Calvin Klein jeans that hung slightly from his hips. This was a time where I should’ve been alarmed that two gorgeous men occupied space in my mother’s hospital room and there were no scrubs in sight to indicate they were a part of the hospital’s staff. Instead, pleasure ripped through me: a soothing warmth that made me dizzy and rendered me utterly speechless.

That was not the gist of our intense moments. Releasing another heavy breath sent my bangs flying high. There was another reason I was restless. Claudia had been proposed to, and she accepted. My younger sister was getting married. Before me. I knew Claudia and Jaden’s relationship was pretty hot and heavy, but marriage? Jaden is such a sweetheart. He proposed to Claudia at her fundraiser event that she put together to raise awareness and be a resource for caregivers in Chicago. It was a successful event, and Jaden’s proposal set the city on fire. It was officially the talk of the town. That was a few weeks ago, and as much as I’d loathed coming back to Houston, I was trying to figure out what direction my life should go.

What I want is to quit my job and move back to Chicago. But I keep asking myself, for what? As I drafted my resignation letter, that question became enormous. What was waiting for me in Chicago?

I pacified myself, concluding that with Claudia getting married, it was now my turn to step in and become my mother’s caregiver. Also, I missed my little family. The only thing keeping me here was the Houston Report, and it didn’t offer the same excitement that it did in the beginning.

I raked my fingers through my hair. I’d let it grow too long, and now it hung past my elbows. I reapplied the dark purple passion gloss to my full lips. The color had grown on me, and I loved the way it emboldened my caramel skin. The gloss didn’t do anything to hide the puff under my eyes, but my sunglasses took care of that. Nevertheless, the puff was a constant reminder that I needed rest and relaxation. I left the quiet sanctuary of the bathroom and strolled through the labyrinth of disorganized cubicles and ringing phones headed to my secluded desk. Easing into my chair, my thoughts continued to swirl with the decision I needed to make; to hand over my resignation letter or to wait. I was spaced out for longer than a minute when a voice in front of me spoke.

“If it’s that deep, just go with your gut.”

I glanced up to see Santana Summers, the only person in Houston I’d come to befriend during my stay here.

“You would take that back if you knew what I was pondering,” I said.

Santana twisted her lips. “I don’t think so. Whenever you get that faraway look in your eyes, it’s always because you’re wondering if your next assignment is worth it. And you should always go with your gut.”

I smiled up at her, taking notice of the messy ponytail she’d shoved her hair in. For a moment, I wondered if her nights were just as rude as mine.

“If that’s the case then…”

I rose from my chair and grabbed my purse; pulling out my resignation letter that was sealed in a white mailing envelope. Santana frowned.

“What’s that?”

I pulled my lips in, hesitant to tell her my news. I didn’t know how well she would take it, so I drew my eyes away and cast them on everything around us.

“Hello,” she said snapping her fingers. “Desiree, what’s going on?”

I held the letter up. “I’m quitting.”

Santana’s eyes popped. “Are you serious? When did you decide to quit?”

“Sssssh! Don’t tell everybody. I haven’t given Fredrick my resignation letter yet!” I grabbed her hand and pulled her into my corner, practically shoving her into a chair.

Where I thought Santana would be a little upset, she surprised me with a glowing beam.

“I’m so excited for you,” she squealed.

I sat back in my chair dumbfounded. “You are?”

“Yes, yes, of course! I’ve seen the job wearing you down. I’m happy to know you’ve found something else.” She perked up. “So what’s the position and where? I want to apply, too! God knows my time in this place has long passed.”

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