Page 80 of Only If You Dare

“Bella.”

I stopped my escape and looked up at Julian expectantly.

“I once asked you if you wanted to see your father again, and you said you weren’t sure.”

I sighed and leaned my weight into a hip. “And?”

“Are you sure you don’t want to reconcile?”

“How much did you hear?”

Julian pulled me into his arms. “Bella, I love you…”

A heavy flutter spread over me. “I want to be with you,” he continued, “but you need closure.”

My pulse quickened.

“Now’s your chance to get it.”

I was shaking my head no. “I can’t.”

“You must.”

Tears stained my eyes, and I buried my head in his chest as he held me securely.

“I don’t know if I can.” My voice was shaken. I’d had many conversations in my head about what I would say to my father if I ever saw him again. But now that I had the opportunity, the words wouldn’t come to me.

“You don’t have to talk if you don’t want to,” Julian’s dark, soothing voice beat through my ear. “But for your sake, not his, listen to what he has to say. He may just answer some of the questions you have.

I calmed, like a child who’d been given a pacifier. Silently, I agreed.

“Stay here. I’ll be right back okay?”

I watched him walk away.

Santana stepped to my side. “If at any time you want to pass out, I’ll try and catch you. I ain’t making no promises though.”

I smiled and looked at her, tossing my arms around her shoulders in a snug hug. She hugged me back and we had a laugh. I turned back anxiously just as Julian reappeared with my father by his side. I breathed easy even though my gut tightened. They stopped in front of me and Julian moved to the side of me. I scanned my father’s face. The years had not aged him gracefully. Stress lines sat on his forehead and beneath his eyes. His skin appeared to be dry and rough. I inhaled and exhaled even breaths. My father attempted a smile but it was more of a faltering crack of a grin.

“Thank you for speaking with me,” he said. “It has been too long since we’ve been apart and I know, that’s no fault of yours.” He swallowed before moving forward. “To plainly put it, back then when we were a family, I’d gotten mixed up in a gambling ring.” My eyes stretched but I didn’t say a word. “The year before my disappearance—”

“You mean the year you left,” I said sharply.

“Yes, that’s what I mean.”

“You called it your disappearance as if you were kidnapped. And you weren’t, you left on your own accord and didn’t look back.”

“You’re right, it was the only way to keep my girl’s safe. I would’ve never just left without reason.”

“What do you mean to keep us safe?”

“I’d got into some business dealings with some shady people. At the time, I didn’t know they were shady. I thought we were all just brothers tryna come up in the world, you know? I had you guys and your mom to look after. The late nights and early mornings at my job were coming between your mother and me.” He paused then pushed forward. “The situation I’d gotten into escalated. I was giving money from our savings to one of these so-called friends and they were hustling me when I thought they were paying off my debt. When I found out I still owed every single dime, I went after this friend, but he was in the wind, and I was stuck with a bill I couldn’t pay off.” My father blew out a deep breath. “I know you want to know everything but some things are better left unsaid.”

I stared at him understanding his reference but wanting to wave it off at the same time.

“I had to leave,” his eyes pleaded with me for sympathy. “I couldn’t have you girls in harm’s way, so I left to work off my debt.” I opened my mouth to speak but my father cut me off. “Somethings are better left unsaid.”

“You lied to me.” I was holding steady, but didn’t know how much longer I could. “You told me, you’d be back later that night. You lied to my face knowing you had no intentions of coming home.” I folded my arms across my chest.

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