Page 91 of Safe With Me

My hands shook as I unfolded the note. I scanned the blue letters scratched into the paper with angry, deep lines.

Just like my car door.

“Only a WHORE would blow their cop boyfriend in public. Knowing someone is watching. Stupid mistakes get friends hurt.”

I gasped, my heart seizing as I let the letter drop.

What did we do? What didIdo? I’d wanted to believe so badly that kids had keyed my car, even though I’d known they hadn’t.

The fear of being watched had me trapped in my apartment back in Philly. I’d never seen where Ted was, but he was always close enough to know exactly what I’d done, and with whom, to give me a detailed report the next day.

Last night was supposed to be a private moment that we both should have known better not to have out in the open. We only had ourselves to blame, but I felt violated on a whole new level, one that made me want to scrub my skin until it bled.

“Hey, the frying pan is smoking. You’re going to trip the smoke alarm,” Mike said behind me, his voice sounding miles away as I spiraled in panic.

I registered the tick of my stove as he turned off the burner.

“Lila, what’s wrong?” Mike asked, his words slow as he put a hand on my shoulder. “You’re shaking. Please talk to me.”

He spun me around, searching my gaze with widened eyes.

“That was under my door.” I pointed to the letter fanned open on the kitchen tiles.

Mike’s brow furrowed as he reached down to pick it up.

“Shit,” he hissed.

“It had this in it too,” I said, barely able to draw enough air into my lungs to form any words as I opened my hand. “I lost this at the beach last night. We were being watched. For I don’t know how long.”

For all I knew, I’d been watched this whole time. Maybe Ted was only waiting for Mike and me to be officially together before he came out of whatever shadows he’d been hiding in.

“Hey, it’s all right,” Mike whispered when he brought me into his arms, running his hands up and down my back. I buried my head into his chest, my hands quivering as I fisted his T-shirt.

“I’m right here,” he whispered as he kissed the top of my head. “You’re going to have to come with me to the station. We need to show Jude.”

“Great,” I said, terror and shame rolling through me as my insides shook. “Bad enough he’s back. He had to humiliate me this time too.”

“If he’s back, he’s not going to get away with this. Not here. Does this look like his handwriting?”

I shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I never saw him write anything except when he’d scribble his signature. I threw out all his cards without looking, so I couldn’t tell you if that’s his handwriting or not. But who else could it be?”

I stumbled toward the kitchen table and fell into a seat.

“I can’t do this again, Mike. And he’s watching you too. Just like I was afraid he would be.” My voice cracked as a sob caught in my throat.

“Listen to me,” Mike said, crouching in front of me. “He doesn’t scare me. You are not alone this time. I’d never let anything happen to you.”

“I really thought months of no contact would make him forget or at least not care so much. Now he seems even angrier.”

“From what you told me, he gets sloppy when he’s unhinged.” He squeezed the back of my neck. “Yourcop boyfriendis going to help stop this asshole once and for all, so please don’t cry, baby.”

Mike swiped away a tear snaking down my cheek.

“As far as people knowing that we…” He lifted a shoulder. “It’s not great, but we aren’t the first to get carried away somewhere by the lake around here. No one is going to judge us or you. He’s trying to get under our skin, and we’re not going to let him.”

Mike’s crooked smile only made me cry harder.

“I love you. This son of a bitch isn’t going to intimidate us or make us regret one single moment together. Got it?”

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