Page 34 of Safe With Me

“Come on,” he said, his hand still circling my wrist. “I just want to talk.”

I just want to talk.

Ted ended every call, every note, every text with “I just want to talk.”

And I just wanted to be left alone. Why was no such a hard word for some to understand? It was as if I couldn’t say it loud enough for it to sink in.

“Let me go!” I yelled at a high-enough pitch to see all the heads turn in my periphery. “I’m not interested, and I don’t want to talk to you. Get the fuck away from me.”

“Get your hands off her!”

Mike stepped in front of me and yanked Jared’s hand away from my wrist.

“I was just making conversation with yourfriend.” He glared at me over Mike’s shoulder.

“You should just take a fucking hint.” My words shook as my body quivered from head to toe, paralyzed once again, and Ted wasn’t anywhere to be found. This pushy jerk poked at the damage I’d managed to forget for a couple of hours.

“It’s okay,” Mike whispered, reaching behind me to take my hand.

“Dramatic much?” Jared laughed, and my vision clouded with angry tears. But he had a point. While he was being arrogant and rude, my rage toward him came from a deep, unresolved anger toward someone else.

Someone who was still in my head, no matter how many miles I’d tried to put between us.

“Stay away from her, or I’ll bring you in for assault.”

“Assault,” Jared said, coughing out a laugh. “Isn’t that reaching a little, Russo? For touching a woman’s wrist.”

“Yougrabbedher wrist and wouldn’t let go, even when she said stop. I had to push you off her. I don’t want to go in on my night off, but to bring you in, I’d be fucking happy to. Stay on the other end of the bar for the rest of the night, or I’ll throw you out myself.”

“No need,” he said, holding up his hands and looking me over like I’d just lost my mind. “Enjoy the band.”

“Mike, I’m so s-sorry,” I stammered, draping my hand over my eyes. If only I could sink into the bar floor and disappear. I felt my cheeks heat with humiliation and white-hot rage, but not at Jared or even at Ted.

Another trigger had set me off, and I didn’t know how to stop it from happening or calm down when it did.

“Stop that. Look at me.” Mike took my face in his hands. “I’ve got you. No apologies or explanations needed. Let me take you home.”

“You don’t have to leave. I can manage to drive home.”

“I’ll follow you and walk you inside. I’m not leaving you alone like this. So, don’t fight me on it, okay?” He drifted his thumbs over my cheekbones as he eased in close, almost touching his forehead to mine. I clutched on to his wrists, not caring how close we were and letting Mike’s touch and soft words soothe me enough to calm my thumping heart.

Douchebags in bars happened and had never bothered me before. Just like flat tires, something that would have just annoyed me now set off a full-body panic I couldn’t control.

It all made me so angry, I wanted to scream.

How could I run from chaos when it dwelled inside my head?

7

MIKE

The drivefrom the festival to Lila’s apartment was not even fifteen minutes, but I was on edge the entire ride.

I wished she would have let me drive, but by the time I’d walked her to her car, her hands had stopped shaking. I’d sprinted down the street to get my own truck after I’d made her promise to wait for me so I could follow.

I’d watched from two car lengths back for any erratic turns or fluctuations in speed, but she’d seemed to be driving fine. She’d come down from the panic attack enough to appear as if nothing had happened.

It was as if she was used to being triggered enough to calm herself down quickly, just like the day I’d taken her to Aaron to replace her tire.

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