Page 1 of Safe With Me

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LILA

I can do this…

I’d thought by the zillionth time I repeated it to myself over the past four hours—or really, the past week—I’d start to believe it. My attempt at pumping myself up fell flat, because each time, it landed more likeI can’t believe I’m doing this.

Risk-taking wasn’t my forte. I liked to think I wasn’t boring, but I wasn’t a grab-life-by-the-horns kind of girl either. I’d gone to college close to home and had always lived within the same twenty miles of where I’d grown up in Philly.

Leaving everything behind and coming to a town I’d never heard of before, where I didn’t know anyone except my cousin’s cousin-in-law, was the craziest and fastest decision I’d ever made. It hadn’t seemed real until I’d taken the exit for Kelly Lakes after countless miles of trees and road on the four-hour drive.

I hadn’t stopped anywhere and had driven straight through, both wanting to get up here as soon as possible and afraid I’d lose my nerve and turn around if I stopped.

But here I was. Ready to start the new life I hadn’t planned on but had to attempt if I wanted to have any kind of life at all.

I pulled into a spot in front of The Pour House, the only bar on this main road and most likely the only bar in this tiny town. I took in the quaint little shops and moms pushing strollers along the tiny sidewalks as I followed the path my GPS guided me on until it pinged at my destination.

After hours of nothing but nature, all the town seemed to be clustered into a few blocks. It was picture-perfect enough that it almost didn’t seem real, like a small-town oasis that didn’t belong on a modern timeline.

It was the perfect place to hide since I’d never look for me here either.

My loud sigh echoed inside the car after I shut off the engine, my hand quivering as I pulled the key out of the ignition. The adrenaline that had kept me going was spiking—or my blood sugar had plummeted since I couldn’t remember the last thing I’d eaten as I’d scurried to pack the last of my things last night.

Everything I owned had fit into three suitcases stuffed in my trunk and back seat. I’d never replaced the furniture in my apartment from what was already there when I’d moved in two years ago. I’d always meant to, but long work hours and general laziness had gotten in the way. My procrastination had paid off since not having furniture had made it easy to just pack up and move.

I fell back in my seat and called my cousin to let him know I’d arrived, hoping to buy enough time to steady myself before I attempted to climb out of the car.

“Hey, how’s it going?”

I smiled at Steven’s smooth timbre. He was ten years older but had always been much more of a brother to me than the one I actually had. Steven was over six feet and all lean muscle, but he was a softhearted teddy bear at heart and wise beyond his years, even as a kid.

He was the only relative I could count on right now. My parents didn’t even know I’d moved yet. They didn’t know how bad it had become or how I’d gone from living in annoyance to fear.

I needed to call them before they stopped by and found my now-vacant apartment. I would finally have to give them the details I’d been holding back and hope they’d honor my request to not tell my brother where I’d be living now.

“I’m here already. I just parked in front of Claudia’s bar.”

“For real? What time did you leave this morning?”

“Early enough for it to still be dark. No point in sticking around, right?”

“Cuz,” Steven began before letting go of a long, audible exhale. I could picture his crinkled brow, and I smiled at the image in my head. “This sucks. I’m not going to sugarcoat it. But a new beginning can be full of great possibilities if you keep an open mind. Claudia would be more than happy to tell you all about that.”

Claudia had moved here from Brooklyn after she’d been laid off from her job. She’d since purchased and started running her own bar, married a handsome local cop, and had given birth to the cutest little boy I’d ever seen. When I’d seen her at Eric and Steven’s wedding, she was lit up with happiness, although that seemed to be her baseline personality from the first day I’d met her.

I guessed I was another city girl escaping to the country—or, as country as New York State could get. If I weren’t so mad at having to leave in the first place, I’d laugh at the ridiculous cliché.

“I’m still too annoyed to be excited for possibilities.”

I wasn’t here to follow some romantic fantasy of abandoning city life and falling in love with the local baker or farmer. I’d come for a basic sense of peace and security, two things that I’dtaken for granted but had crippled me when they were snatched away.

Philly was a big city, but Ted had squeezed me out of it. My shaking hands were probably the aftereffects of what felt like a months-long constant fight-or-flight reaction.

He hadn’t laid a hand on me, but I was terrified that was coming next. The constant pleas to see me andwork things outwere always underlined with threats—of how angry he’d become if I didn’t respond and what he would do to any man he’d seen come within two feet of me.

I couldn’t even have a cup of coffee with a friend without the little hairs on the back of my neck sticking straight up, knowing he was lurking around somewhere.

And although, at least for right now, Ted didn’t know where I was, the urge to keep glancing back and checking what could be over my shoulder would be a hard habit to break.

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