Page 20 of State of Alert

They’d tried to dispose of him.

Of Nick.

Of the best man she’d ever known, other than her father.

Juan was right. That couldn’t stand.

“Yes, you can count on me.”

CHAPTER FIVE

Sam emerged from the NCIS office where Juan would remain in hiding for as long as it took to make the case against the disgraced chiefs. She could only hope that would happen quickly, because it’d take everything she had to play her part as requested. Dishonesty didn’t sit well with her. She was a straight shooter, raised by one. Skip Holland had hammered into his three girls the importance of always telling the truth.

Not that she didn’t love a good white lie every now and then, but to be part of something like this? Never. She shuddered, imagining the many ways this could destroy relationships she’d spent years cultivating and valued above all else.

Vernon held the door for her. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” She didn’t look at him as she lied to his face. She’d have to get used to the despair that accompanied each lie.

“Back to HQ?”

“Yes, please.”

How would she bear to keep this from Nick when he was suffering so profoundly over the loss of Juan?

As she stared out the window, the SUV whipped throughlight Sunday traffic. She went over it all again, picking over the details shared by Truver and Juan and preparing herself to be involved in a fake homicide investigation.

She considered recusing herself and taking the West Coast trip with Nick. She’d been dreading his absence, the way she always did when she knew he’d be away. But how would she spend that kind of time with him and not come clean?

Juan had said they were protecting Nick by not telling him.

Would he see it that way when he found out she’d kept this from him?

Because he’d find out eventually.

Her stomach ached fiercely at the thought of disappointing him in any way, but not as fiercely as her heart ached. She hated this for her—and for him. She despised the way people wanted to tear him down after he’d stepped up for his country when Vice President Gooding had become ill and then again when President Nelson died.

If only they saw the sacrifice, the time, the commitment, the energy he put into the job. If only they knew how much hecared. From the first minute she’d learned of the Joint Chiefs’ betrayal, she’d seethed with outrage on his behalf. She would never forget his hurt, bewildered expression as he explained the situation to her while trying to make sense of it himself.

It defied belief and would never make sense.

Juan had said military officers took an oath of office to support the commander in chief, even when they didn’t share the same politics, religion or beliefs. That the highest ranking among them would attempt to kneecap their commander in chief had sent shock reverberating through the ranks as well as official Washington, the country as a whole and around the world.

Their actions had rattled the foundation under Nick’s presidency, giving his many political enemies enormous fuel for their illegitimate fire.

Sam had grown to loathe that word:illegitimate.

She and Nick hadn’t ever discussed it in detail, but she was painfully aware that the word stung him for more reasons than just the implication that he didn’t belong in the Oval Office. He’d been illegitimate from the start, born to teenage parents who hadn’t wanted him and raised by a grandmother who hadn’t wanted him either.

I want him.

She wiped away tears that suddenly filled her eyes.

I want him more than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone. I honestly think I’d kill for him if it came to that. I hope it never does… But lie to him? I don’t know if I can do that.

Tears slid down her cheeks that she wiped away as quickly as they appeared. She couldn’t show up to HQ looking like she’d been crying. The last thing she needed was more reason for people there to talk about her. She’d given them more than enough cause by keeping her job while being the first lady and a mother, too.

The push-pull of competing demands never let up, but today’s events gave all-new meaning to the truly unique situation she found herself in.

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