Page 18 of Brutal Bratva King

In the morning, I get up really early because I can’t take it anymore. Peeking into Anya’s room, I see that she is still fast asleep.

I shower, get dressed and leave the house before she is up. I need to get out and away from her to clear my head.

She makes my thoughts foggy and scattered and I hate that. I need to be in control over everything at all times. Including my body and it’s reactions to her.

Chapter 6 - Anya

Waking up in a strange bed in a strange place is unpleasant. I didn’t sleep well, and everything feels wrong now.

I wake up with bright light hitting my pillow and my eyes burn when I open them. I cried myself to sleep last night and now I feel puffy and horrible.

For a brief moment, I consider pulling the blankets over my head and trying to go back to sleep. But I know I won’t be able to. Not in this place where I don’t feel safe or homey. I feel like I’m just a visitor in someone else’s world. But this is my home. This is going to be my home forever now.

I married that man of my own free will.

Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I sigh deeply and rub my fingers against my eyes.

I’ll have a cold shower. That will help refresh me. Then I guess I have to go and see what Rodion is up to. Or not. Maybe I can sneak out of the house without having to face him.

Last night was so confusing for me.

My mind was dead set against being with him and my body was begging me to let him do whatever he wanted to me. But I knew I would regret it as soon as it happened. When I agreed to marry him I had no idea I was so attracted to him. I had no idea how fucking sexy he was. Why didn’t I notice it before?

Maybe I did.

All those times I felt uncomfortable around him, I think it was just me denying the physical attraction because I didn’t like his asshole, selfish personality.

Rodion always tries to control everything. It drives me crazy. But now he’s going to have to learn that I won’t be controlled.

The shower is icy when I step underneath it, but I force myself to stand there, my muscle tense and rigid. I focus on my breathing and steadying my heart rate until my muscles slowly begin to relax. The ache of the cold water on my skin subsides and it starts to feel refreshing. I turn my face up into the spray of water and let it run over my skin. It feels good.

When I climb out, my body feels alive and awake. I feel a hundred times better now.

My clothes are all in Rodion’s room. In his closet. I guess I have to go through there and face him after all.

But when I step into his room, I see that the bed is made, and he is nowhere to be found.

Thank goodness.

I grab handfuls of my clothes and carry them through to my own bedroom. It takes me about an hour, but when I’m done, my things are where they should be—in my closet—not his.

Rodion is still not home and I am not going to wait around here for him. I don’t want to see him anyway.

The only place I can think of going is to see Raisa. She understands what I’m going through. But I don’t want to see Oleg. I can’t stand the thought of him knowing that I am full of regret over my decision.

I know what my brothers will do.

They will fix it for me.

They will make everything right. They will end the marriage, even ending the alliance if need be, and they will deal with everything for me. I won’t even have to do a thing.

My heart tightens with guilt.

Rodion was right.

The things he said last night were really nasty and he said them so harshly—but he was right.

I don’t have any experience with anything. I have never had to do anything difficult in my life because my brothers did it all for me.

---