Page 7 of Shield and Savior

Joey lived at Nonna’s house after his parents died, and Nonna decided technology didn’t need to advance past 1994. While Donnie and I had iPhones, Joey was trapped on AOL and dial-up. Maybe that’s why Joey owns a sex club now. He spent his teen years waiting twenty minutes on dial-up to see half of a boob, and now he’s making up for lost time.

Lance lets out a little laugh. “Not only do I not know what movie you’re talking about, but I don’t believe you were a child, ever.”

Joey huffs, slams the box down, and pulls his phone out of his back pocket. While Joey is busy, Lance turns to me. “What’s your favorite dinosaur?”

I had my answer locked and loaded. “A parrot.”

“What?” Lance makes a sound like a laugh, huff, and choke all at once. The huff plays it cool while the choke keeps the laugh at bay. Like he didn’t want to lose his newly acquired job. “I’m gonna need a little more context.”

“Birds are dinosaurs that didn’t give up and die. And parrots are beautiful and smart. Plus, even if every human vanished today, parrots would preserve our languages.”

“You’re so weird, Mom.”

“At least I don’t use a grass-type Pokémon as a starter. Those people are bananas.” I boop my son’s nose because I know how much he hates it. He twists and flails out of my reach.

Lance shifts his weight, squaring his shoulder to my son. “So, Drew, you have an important job. You’ll need to pick a code name. Normally we go with mythical creatures, cities, or animals.”

“Can I be one of those firebird things?”

Lance’s face changes like he ate a rotten piece of fruit. “A phoenix? We have one of those already. But we don’t have any dragons. Whatever you pick, your mom will have to be something similar. If you pick Pegasus, your mom will be a unicorn.”

“Don’t pick something lame,” I warn, but my request goes ignored.

“Uncle Joey, wanna see my room now?”

Joey’s head is still in his phone. “The Land Before Time, that’s the movie.” He glances at Drew, then at Lance, then back to Drew. “Give me five more minutes, and I’m all yours.”

Drew shrugs and heads back into his room. “I’ll think about it,” he says to Lance.

Lance takes out his phone as well and holds the screen up to me. “You need to pick out bulletproof window blinds. We’ll have the bulletproof windows installed and sweep the room for bugs and anything else tomorrow while you’re at work. But the blinds are more of an aesthetic choice, so you should pick them.”

Jesus. Bulletproof windows and blinds. Seriously? “Am I in that kind of danger?”

Lance rotates his head, scanning every surface in the room. “From what I can see, you would need a professional sniper to hit your apartment, but the blinds are more for your own privacy.”

Oh.

We spend the next few minutes picking out window treatments and other weird administrative stuff. “I officially start tomorrow. I’ll be here in the morning to take you to sign Drew up for school. Once you’re at work, I’ll head back home, take care of a few things, return at four to take the kids home and pick you up.”

“Kids? Like more than Drew?” I raise my eyebrow.

Lance nods and scrolls through his cell phone. “Yeah, other kids associated with the Four Families. Ian, Maria, and Shae all go to the same school as Drew.”

“So you’re a chauffeur too?”

“Full service.”

Hmm, I wonder what else he’d service. Oh, shit. Stop it.

“Can I make a request?”

“Depends.” But he gives me a little wink, like whatever I ask is going to be fulfilled.

“Can you not look like a bodyguard?” I need to get some control of this situation before I go into a lust-fueled haze of stupidness.

“We prefer the term personal security agent, but okay. Can you be clearer?”

“No suit.” I motion up and down with my hand. “This gives off secret service, I can kill a man with a straw, vibes.” And suits are hot as hell.

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