Page 76 of Shield and Savior

But as soon as my family came swarming in, I let them take control. It was like I was too weak and pathetic to stand up for him. Or maybe it was the baby gazelle thing, where the herd bands together to support one. But how did the injured baby gazelle feel about that? Sure, it survived the jaws of the croc, but still, it wears those scars as a constant reminder of its fuck up.

But what really got me was Drew thinking no one wanted him.

I did that.

I kept him away from his family, running under the stupid assumption that some batshit old woman spoke for everyone. That little lack of communication was my fault. And for years, it was the two of us.

And I thought I was enough. But as soon as we got here, he shifted, changed, opened up. He didn’t know what he missed until he got it.

Then there’s Lance. I know he has feelings for me. But nothing prepared me for how I felt as he held me, consoling Drew, checking on Nonna. He’s not a part of the Four Families. He knew when to step aside and let us take control. And I didn’t know how much I needed him there until he walked away.

When I saw my ex, I had no feelings besides anger. But for Lance there was a swell and rising of love.

Shit.

I felt loved. I am loved. Not just by my family, but by Lance, too.

I sit in my car, letting the feeling and realization hit me. Lance loves me. He loves Drew. He even loves my insane family. I never thought it would be something I would come close to. Now that I have it, shit…I didn’t know how good it could be.

Okay, time to make a new plan.

Make sure Lance is on board, and we are feeling the same thing. Check with Alana to see if there’s any special paperwork we need to fill out. Sit and have a conversation with Drew. Confirm this is something he wants too.

For the first time, things are starting to fall into place. Like this is the life I’m supposed to have.

I left Drew and Ian in school. The thought of pulling them out and getting ice cream crossed my mind, but instead I promised a sleepover this weekend, which seemed to appease the boys. This also gives Ian and Drew a chance to talk to a counselor.

I’ll report to Alana what happened. I’ll probably need to give a witness statement and this way we can go to the school as a unified front.

The roar of a screech dragon shakes my car. No. That can’t be right. Not right at all. It has to be something else.

The air changes, more electric, with a sense of stillness. A new dread forms in my stomach.

Turning down the street by the Mastodon office, my brain can’t register what I’m seeing. The parking lot is covered in snowflakes. No, that can’t be either. It’s glass. And plumes of black smoke billow from the back of the building. Everything smells like charred wood.

I’m out of the car before I realize it. I don’t even remember stopping it. I rush over to where Macie cowers behind one of the Mastodon SUVs. Besides some cuts and bruises, she seems fine. She’s on the phone. “There was an explosion about sixty seconds ago.” She grabs my arm and says, “Yes, there are people inside.”

Oh shit.

No.

“Who?”

“Lance and Alana,” she says to me, but she’s still talking to whoever is on the other end of the line. “The fire department is still seven minutes away.”

What? Seven minutes.

No.

No more baby gazelle. No more living alone. I didn’t spend the last ten years alone to find happiness for it to vanish. Absolutely not.

I sprint toward the building’s entrance. No one tells you how loud a fire can be. The aged wood creaks and screams as it’s consumed. The fire is on the upper levels, somewhere. That’s good. Right?

The front door is falling off its hinges, one barrier down. So far the bottom floor is damaged but maneuverable. “LANCE! Alana!” No sound.

The lobby is empty. No one is on the couches or in the waiting room. No sounds from the bathroom. The bottom is all clear. Up. Go up.

As soon as I start up the stairs, the smoke starts billowing down. “LANCE!”

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