Page 56 of Shield and Savior

Shit, he’s overdosing. But how? “Does he use?” Obviously he does otherwise we wouldn’t be in this mess.

“No. I went with him to get his blood work done last week. All clean.” Darren adds, “He’s afraid of needles, has been since Chup ODed years ago.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. My arms start to burn. Two more compressions and back to mouth to mouth. I start to move when Darren yells, “No, if it’s Majesty, you’re exposing yourself.”

“If I don’t, he dies. Go find Delta and grab the safety kit from my jacket. There’s a CPR mask. And Narcan.”

Darren nods and leaves. The 911 operator informs me there’s an ambulance five minutes away. Five minutes to get here, two more to unload the gurney, and another minute to get back here. Eight minutes. “Stay with me, Phoenix.”

Each time I press my lips to his, I’m taking more and more of this poison into my body. All I know about Majesty is that it’s deadly, highly addictive, and serious bad news. I don’t know if it’s a stimulant or an opioid or whatever. Alana had a training session on it, but I missed it because I would’ve been late for the pickup line.

Darren comes in with the medkit, his face tight and tense. “Delta’s gone.”

“What do you mean he’s gone? He was just here.”

“His cell phone, watch, and ID card are all in a trash can. He’s gone.”

I hate all of this. A growing headache stabs at the back of my skull. My arms burn, and my lips tingle. Darren kneels next to me and takes out the CPR mask. It’s a piece of shit and doesn’t work the way I need it to. “Narcan doesn’t work on Majesty. We don’t have any sort of counter balances for it.”

Fuck. I’ve never felt as helpless as I do on this cold tile floor. I’ve walked into battle fields, done field emergency care plenty of times. Why is this one shaking me up so much?

“I can take over,” Darren offers, his eyes pleading with me to take a break.

My head shakes. “No use in both of us getting exposed. Go out there, clear the room, keep Honey Badger safe, and see if any other guards have a better mask.”

I’ve lost count of how many times I started the cycle over again. Images of Izzy, Drew, Honey Badger, and Alana dance through my head. My back throbs, and my arms are jelly by the time the EMTs arrive. My body feels like shit, but my mind is flowy and can’t focus on anything in particular.

Shit.

ChapterTwenty-Eight

Izzy

Oh, failure, my old friend. I hate you so much, but at least you’re familiar.

I stare at the bed. It’s still a wrinkly mess. It’s not that I don’t have the energy to make it—my self-loathing hasn’t evolved into full on depression. Not yet. Last night, I slept on Lance’s side of the bed. But wrapping myself in the sheets that used to keep him warm isn’t the same. I woke up cold.

But once I fix the covers and neaten up the bed, Lance will be erased. Like he was never here at all.

The worst part is Drew. He’s so confused. One morning Lance is there, and the next he’s gone.

Temporary. All of this was temporary. A fun vacation. And now it’s time to return to reality. Me and my son. That’s all that matters.

He’s still going to school, but security has been amped up. When he comes home, he scans the house, the question on his lips, “Is Lance here?” But he knows the answer and never asks it.

Today is no different. He goes downstairs and turns on the video games. Twenty minutes later, I bring him a reheated slice of pizza. He takes one look at it and moves it to the coffee table his feet are resting on.

“Don’t you want it?” I ask.

Drew shakes his head. “It’s the last one he made.” My beautiful son turns his attention back to the screen.

I sit next to him, and he leans on me while he’s building something I don’t quite understand.

“It doesn’t matter,” Drew whispers. “We were just a job for him.”

My heart shatters and shards splitter off into my bloodstream. This heartbreak courses through my veins and into my DNA.

I don’t know what to say. Hell, I’m not sure if I’ll ever see him again. Maybe we’ll pass each other at a charity dinner or something. He’ll be protecting some model, whispering in her ear how beautiful she is.

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