Page 67 of Shield and Savior

“But you can stay in the apartment rent free,” Joey rushes to say.

What?

“You aren’t sending us away?” My voice sounds so small.

The men exchange glances like they’re splitting money after a job. Dad raises his eyebrow. “Why would you think we’re sending you away?”

I shake my head, the years of pent-up trauma and questions circling in my mind. “Because I’m a failure. Aunt Rita said I fucked up all the plans the Four Families had. You didn’t want me to keep Drew. I ran away before you could kick me out. This was all temporary.” I crumble.

Before my knees hit the ground, there are two arms around me. My dumbass brother pulls me into his chest and does the same thing all the men in my family do whenever someone’s crying.

He panics.

“MOM!” he screams.

I smell her before I hear her. Her perfume and a dash of garlic and onion from dinner clings to her. “God dammit, Donnie, what did you do?”

He squeaks, “I didn’t do anything.”

Mom’s arms wrap around me, and she pulls me into her chest. “Shhh shh.” She strokes my hair, but I’m too far gone, sobbing and hiccupping. “What happened?”

Dad’s voice edges with anger. “She thinks we were going to send her away.”

Mom rocks me back and forth like she did when I was little. “Where did she get that idea?”

“My fucking sister!” There’s a crash of something hitting the floor, and I hear the telltale whoosh of papers flying everywhere. Every new shattered object makes me flinch against Mom.

Dad’s temper tantrum continues until Joey asks, “Was this before or after Rita went to rehab?”

What? I see the pain all over Mom’s face. “Oh, Izzy. Didn’t you know Rita was…? Honey, Rita had a lot of problems. Why would you believe her?”

I motion to Dad, who’s in the process of throwing books off his shelf. His damage is localized, no projectiles. It’s eerily similar to the reaction I got when I told him I was pregnant. “He was so mad,” I whisper.

Mom continues to rock me and stroke my hair. “Of course he was upset. We all were. No one wants their kid to lose their entire future because of one night. Yes, your father said some very stupid and hurtful things. And he’s spent the last decade punishing himself.”

But Donnie snaps, “It was fucking bullshit you ever left in the first place. No one wanted you to leave.”

“Nonna wants you here.” Joey hangs his head. “She prayed for you every night.”

“But I ruined everything. The Four Families had plans for all of us, and I destroyed them.”

Mom groans loudly, and the crashing stops.There’s the stillness when you aren’t sure if you’re in the eye of the storm or you’ve survived the worst of it.

“Oh shit,” Dad mumbles from the other side of the room. He shakes his head. “They were really stupid plans. And there’s no way Nonna or your mom would allow it.”

“Because he and his stupid ass friends got drunk and came up with the dumbest plan in the history,” Mom says, not even bothering to hide her annoyance.

Dad mumbles quietly, shrugging his shoulder. “Well, it’s not really that stupid. It was how things were for hundreds of years.”

Mom huffs and throws her free arm up in the air. “That’s how he tried to pitch it to me. Because it was done for centuries before indoor plumbing and electricity.” She shakes her head and sighs, “Still doesn’t mean it was a good idea.”

Dad leans back in his chair. He looks small and old. His hair is mostly gray. Deep creases cut around his eyes. “You were supposed to marry Thiago.”

“WHAT?!?!” My head whips up so fast I think I pinch a nerve.

Dad waves his hand like all my shock and concern doesn’t matter. “We had a complete system worked out. You were going to marry Thiago, and Uri would marry Waverly. Italian, Mexican, Irish, and Russian families joined together.”

Again, Mom’s annoyance leaks through as she taps her toe on the floor. “So fucking stupid.”

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