Page 44 of Sins and Secrets

She nods. “I get that pain is more in the short term and focused. Hurt is longer lasting and deeper.” Waverly reaches for the water again. Good, I don’t need to remind her to stay hydrated. “In the moment, I didn’t like that I couldn’t touch you. I’m sorry I started to cry.”

“Don’t!” It sounds harsher than I’m expecting, and she winces. Softer, I try again. “Don’t apologize. It was my mistake for not fully explaining it to you. You needed to touch me to feel wanted. That was your need, and I missed it at first.”

She gives me a little shrug. “Mistakes happen.” Were her standards so low, she expected me to screw up? Had she been conditioned to assume men would hurt her?

“I was the one who was wrong. I should’ve figured it out…” I hesitate to bring it up. “After such a huge betrayal, you needed to reconnect.”

She turns away from me. “Did you mean it? Or was it all caught in the moment theatrics?”

“Be more specific.” Clarity is critical in communication. Vagueness creates breakdowns. Her eyes dart around the room. “Waverly, find one thing to look at, it doesn’t need to be me, but get the words out.”

Her eyes drift to the doorknob to my bathroom. “Did you mean it when you said I was beautiful?”

“Absolutely.” I said it too fast or too desperate. Either way, her lips curl at the corners.

Her shoulders huddle forward, trying to make herself small. “No one else but you could touch me?”

She needs the truth. It’s foundational to this relationship. I don’t want to tell her, it’s laying too many cards on the table. Too many emotions. But I must. “You are everything I like, and if you want to get more out of this relationship, I’ll give it to you.” I move my attention to the other leg. “But this is all new to you, and there’s always the possibility that what you like isn’t what I like to do. Maybe we should fill out a Yes No Maybe checklist. Then we can talk about our potential future sexual encounters.” My gut says we are real, but it could also be wishful thinking.

She makes a little harrumph sound. “I’m pretty sure our open communication about sex chat is the longest conversation we’ve ever had.”

Oh shit, she’s right. “Um, is there something else you want to talk about? Dinosaurs, cows, your favorite Amanda Chase album? You’re still a fan, right.”

She snuggles into my arms, and I can feel her cheek tighten on my chest as she smiles. “I could get a Ted Talk on all three of the topics, but my brain is in a sex-filled drunk cloud of goo.”

I try to keep my voice even. “What else did you like?”

Her eyes flash and a wide grin spreads on her lips. “I really like being tied up. The restriction and trusting you took me where I needed to go, and it was awesome.” She gives me a thumbs up—yep that’s a new reaction. “And the cookies, a big fan of the cookies.”

“Noted.” Reaching for her bra and underwear from the floor, I move into the redressing phase. I want one more chance to enjoy her naked form for the masterpiece she is. She reaches for her clothes, but I pull them away. “I’ll do this. Put out your arms.”

She side- eyes me. “I can do this on my own.”

“I have no doubts. You’re a functional adult, but this is all a part of my process. I return what I remove.” She agrees and slides in her arms while I push her hair over his shoulder.

As I latch the back of her bra, her bare skin calls to me. I brush my lips against the tender spot where her neck meets her shoulder. She moans and settles back into my embrace. But her skin is getting cold. I need to move faster.

“You’re staying the night.”

She nods. “I don’t want to be alone.” She turns around on the bed and puts her legs out so I can get one last touch as I slide her thong over her thighs, but she frowns. “Ugh, wet underwear is the worst.”

My lips curl. “I guess you’ll need to keep a spare pair here. I can’t have you uncomfortable.” My fingers hook around the elastic and pull the thong back down around her ankles and toss it across the room. It can be a problem for tomorrow morning.

She blushes. “So, did I pass the test? Am I in the cool kink club now? Um, not the literal club Joey runs, but the Lukas and Waverly kink club?”

This woman. I shake my head in an attempt to hold back my laughter. She looks at me with her dreamy eyes, wrapped up in my blanket, and years of confusion and abandonment vanish. She never got the journal. She should’ve been in this bed for years. This should’ve been our home, but instead now we’re starting in this weird place.

Well, we have to start somewhere.

“Congratulations. You are in the kink club.”

“Is there a membership card?”

“Not yet.” I crawl into bed with her, pressing her body against mine. This feels right. And dangerous.

“Is this what you meant when you said you wanted me back in your life?”

My fingers run down her spine, circling around her tattoo and back up. “Well, I was thinking about seeing a movie or something.”

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