Page 62 of Sins and Secrets

“Um, she’s also Lukas’s brother’s girlfriend.” Darren adds.

“Ex,” I add, a little too fast.

Darren lets out a long exhale. “Shit, when did that happen?”

“When he cheated on her and a few days later we started dating.”

“HOLY SHIT!” Both men say at the same time.

“I don’t know, there’s a lot going on.” I keep focusing on the picture’s transformation from a geometric outline into mountains and a landscape. “This isn’t exactly the first time Waverly and I have been on this road.”

Grae switches to a green pen and draws blades of grass in a Herringbone pattern. “Yikes. Between family and a history together, it’s no wonder your aura is all wonky.”

Darren shifts his weight around. “And I’m hearing about thisnow? Have you told anyone else about it?”

I move my head from side to side. “No. We were kids, hooking up during the summers when I was staying with my mom. That’s the thing about Waverly, she’s great at keeping a secret.” And it’s safe to assume Angie isn’t in the loop because she’s never given me hell about it.

“When shit went down with my dad, I decided I wasn’t going back to the East Coast. So, I flew back here for a weekend, said my goodbyes to the family, and left Waverly a gift. It was my portfolio, all my art. She claims she never got it, which I believe because it’s literally the only logical answer.” My stomach drops as the forgotten but instantly familiar memory hits me. “It wasn’t just a few pictures, it was my heart and soul.” Every unsaid conversation, all of our late-night whispers, manifested in a true, visual form. I half expected her to meet me at the airport. Hell, she had applied to study abroad the next semester. I thought we had a future, that she loved me.

Grae asks, “If it was so important, why didn’t you hand it to her directly? Like in private?”

When she was in my arms, snuggling into the crook of my shoulder, I had the same thought. Why didn’t I give it to her?

Because she would open it in front of me. Because what if I was wrong and she didn’t feel the same way. What if I bared my heart to her and she rejected me, like everyone else in my family did? At the time I didn’t think I could handle the rejection. Hell at the time, I almost didn’t. My silence is the answer my friends need.

Grae takes a long inhale. “Shit, this would make a fucking awesome song.”

“I called her a few times, texted once or twice. But nothing.”

“And now she’s your girlfriend?” Darren asks.

“I guess.” Yep, vagueness is never good.

Grae switches pens again. “And how is she as a girlfriend?”

I drop my pen and cradle my head in my hands. “Adorable and perfect. She’s eager and excited and..” I let out a strangled groan and stare at the pile of pens now scattered around the table.

Change the subject, literally anything but this. “Why do you carry so many pens?”

A weird smirk crosses Grae’s lips. “A pallet of them gets dropped off at my house once a quarter.” He shakes his head and grabs a fine tip green pen. “So, when I started my career over a decade ago, my then girlfriend made some riders to my contract. Every time one of my songs would debut in the top 100, I would get a box of pens. I got highlighters if I reach the top 40, and the boxes would triple if the song broke in as a top ten hit.” He gazes off wistfully into the studio. “I think she did it as a joke. But she added in the rider that she was the only one who could remove it from all future contracts. Then she vanished.”

“She ghosted you?”

A faint shake of his head speaks louder than all the silence in the world. “No, she dumped me and then vanished. I’ve paid PIs to find her, and they all come up empty. All her social media are deleted and even her family won’t talk to me.”

He twirls the pen between his fingers. “So, I get this huge stock of pens every quarter. I’ve donated them to schools, hospitals, women's shelters, homeless shelters, everywhere I can think of. But I still have too many. Hell, I tried to buy the company because I’m their biggest client and I got sniped at the last second. I have a fucking storage unit filled with pens.”

I laugh. “There’s nothing you can do?”

“Nah, and why would I? She’s my Waverly. She believed in me when no one else on the planet did. The pens are a constant reminder someone loved me with every fiber of their being. So, I work insanely hard, trying to get as many pens as I can.” He gives a little shrug. “Besides, one day she might need a pen, and I’ll have exactly what she needs.”

I’m relaxed and calm for the first time since I left home. “Hey, I can clean up your Phoenix tattoo. How old is it, like a decade?”

“I got it when I was seventeen. It feels like two lifetimes ago.”

Darren slaps his head. “The tattoo… that’s why we call you Phoenix. I thought you liked birds.”

Grae and I shake our heads. “Don’t spread your DNA to the next generation.” I slap Darren on the shoulder. Then I turn my attention back to Grae. Waverly called it a red, but in case her interest changes, having basic information won’t hurt. “Random question, Grae. What’re your thoughts on threesomes?”

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