Page 20 of His Boys to Protect

He filled his mug, replaced the carafe, and bounced again as he reached for his spoon. Charlie stilled himself once more while he stirred, then picked up his coffee and took a sip.

Perfect. He closed his eyes and sighed, then took another sip, standing there in the dark kitchen while the world slept around him.

Charlie walked carefully back to his bedroom, watching his coffee to make sure he didn't spill. He set the mug on his desk, then debated closing his bedroom door. It would give him privacy and keep out some of the noise when his family started waking up, but he also didn't like feeling closed-in. He had to think for a moment about which of the two options would be worse. Finally, he decided he needed the quiet more than anything. He shut the door, sat down at his desk, and opened his laptop. The contrast between the bright screen and the dark room made him wince at first, but as his eyes adjusted, he felt even more isolated, making the shadows feel even darker. Charlie smiled and picked up his coffee.

The happiness was short-lived, though. When Charlie set down his coffee and reached for his laptop, the desktop image made his chest tight and his eyes sting. It was a photograph of his entire family, from back before Sabrina had died. The photograph showed Charlie, his brothers, his sister, and their parents all gathered in front of the Christmas tree in the living room, still in their pajamas, happy smiles on all their faces. That had been the last Christmas they all had together. Just a fewmonths after that picture had been taken, Charlie's big sister was gone.

Charlie rocked in his seat. It wasn't fair. Sabrina had never hurt a fly, yet she'd died before her life ever really got started. Granted, the car accident had been partially her fault—she'd been texting while driving—but still. Charlie rocked faster.

That first Christmas without her had been really hard. Sabrina had been dead for months, but Charlie still expected her to be there with them, wearing her festive pajamas, sitting in front of the tree. He'd spent hours pacing the house, searching for her, waiting for her to appear. To come back.

It had gotten easier in the years since, with Charlie slowly but surely losing the context of having his sister there with them, but for some reason, this year was hitting him hard all over again. Yesterday, he'd almost even bought Sabrina a present to put under the tree. His parents gently talked him out of it, then suggested they change their holiday plans. Instead of celebrating Christmas there at home, what if they went down to visit his brother, Dakota, instead?

Charliehatedtraveling, but he'd latched onto the idea. If he couldn't have Sabrina, Charlie at least needed her twin. He hated that Dakota had moved so far away, but his parents were almost always willing to drive him down there whenever Charlie insisted.

He was already packed. His bag sat ready by the door. Now all he had to do was wait for everyone to get up so they could get on the road.

And my Sky is coming!Charlie couldn't resist bouncing again, excited at the thought. He hated long car rides, but if his Sky was with him, it made things a little easier.

He tore his gaze away from the laptop and picked up his phone instead. Charlie opened the app that let him track Skylar's phone. Skylar had the same app, since Charlie had insisted heget it. Not that Charlie ever left the house all that much, but he liked knowing that Skylar could find him at any given moment.

Charlie searched for Skylar's phone signal and saw it sitting motionless, somewhere in San Francisco.

That had to be Skylar's apartment, since the signal was often there. But there was another place where the signal was often stationary, too. Charlie frowned. He actually had no idea where Skylar lived. Skylar had stopped allowing him to spend the night a few years back, saying that he'd had to move to a cheaper place and that his new neighborhood was noisy, so Charlie wouldn't like it. Charlie hadn't liked Skylar's old place, either, but apparently this one was worse.

Charlie's frown turned into a scowl. He wanted Skylar to come live with him. He'd even told his parents as much, then started planning to make space for Skylar in his bedroom. But Skylar had insisted that he had to live in the city. The Pratt house—deep in the suburbs—was too far away from his job.

The scowl gave way to a full-on pout. CharliehatedSkylar's job. Usually, he tried not to think about it, but sometimes, he couldn't help it. He didn't want other men touching his Sky! Still, he understood. Skylar desperately needed the money.

At least he didn't have to see it. Skylar kept Charlie as far away from his job as he could. Maybe that was the real reason why Charlie wasn't allowed to spend the night anymore. Maybe Skylar was taking clients at his apartment.

But his Sky would be all his for the next few days. They'd have their own room, but Charlie would have to remember to be quiet when they had sex. That was hard. He liked letting the noises out when he was inside his Sky. His parents had gotten used to it after years of Skylar spending the night, but where they were going, there might be strangers who could hear them. Charlie didn't like that. Being quiet was hard, but it would be easier than seeing the funny looks people would give him.

Charlie checked the app again. Skylar's phone hadn't moved, so his Sky was probably asleep. Charlie eyed the clock and grumbled. It was still very early. Even his parents weren't up yet. Charlie sipped his coffee and turned back to his laptop instead. He started playing a puzzle game, then had to stop after only a few minutes when breakfast time came around. Charlie got up and made himself some eggs, taking them back to his room so he could keep playing while he ate.

By the time his Sky finally arrived, Charlie had done his dishes, made breakfast for his parents, done their dishes, then cleaned the rest of the house so that it would be neat and tidy when they got back home in a few days. He'd also packed his lunch for the drive. The rest of his family would want to stop for fast food along the way, but Charlie refused to eat that junk. In the meantime, his middle brother, Quinn, had also arrived, with the new fiancée in tow. Charlie took their bags and loaded them into the back of Mom's minivan. As soon as Skylar walked through the front door, Charlie gave him a little wave, snatched his bag out of his hand, and headed for the garage.

“We going somewhere?” Skylar asked.

“Yeah,” Dad replied. “Sorry. I thought Charlie would have let you know. We've had a last-minute change of plans.”

Charlie blinked.Uh oh. He'd forgotten to tell his Sky they were going on a trip! There had been so much to do to get his mind wrapped around a change in his routine, nothing else had registered.

Dad eyed Charlie, the look on his face saying that he was going to tell Skylar something that he didn't want Charlie to hear. Charlie ducked into the garage and fit Skylar's bag into the van with the rest, then stepped back inside the house just as Dad was whispering, “Whatever you do, don't mention Mouse Mouse.”

Skylar's eyes widened, and he cut a quick glance at Charlie before giving a simple nod in response.

Damn it. Charlie rocked on his feet. He didn't want to think about Mouse Mouse. His little pet had died just a few days ago. Maybe that was why he was missing Sabrina so much harder this year. The grief was too familiar, a gaping hole where a source of joy had once been. His parents had offered to take him to the pet store so he could get a new mouse for Christmas, but Charlie hadn't decided yet.

It wouldn't be the same. He wanted his Mouse Mouse back.

“Anyway,” Dad went on, still talking to Skylar, “we're heading down to Paso to spend Christmas at Dakota's house, if that's okay with you.”

Charlie saw a funny look cross Skylar's face. It was a look he'd never seen there, so he didn't know what it meant. Skylar's cheeks turned slightly pink and his eyes widened a bit more than usual, but the look quickly vanished. “Oh, yeah,” Skylar replied, his tone sounding weird. “That's totally fine.”

“We'll get you back in time for whatever your work schedule is,” Dad went on.

Charlie grumbled. He didn't want to think about Skylar going back to work. The first itchy hints of a fit crawled beneath his skin. Before Skylar could respond to Dad, Charlie strode over to stand beside him and immediately took up rocking again.

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