Page 71 of River Wild

“My mother thinks it would be better for me if I rode the bus,” Tana said, mugging a face as Holly Jo sat with her. “I missed curfew the other night.” She shrugged. “But if you’re going to be riding the bus too, it’s not so bad.”

They talked about homework, teachers and upcoming school events, staying clear of mentioning Buck and the dance. For that, Holly Jo was thankful.

But when the bus pulled up to the school, her butterflies came back. She found herself looking for Buck and worrying about what would happen when she saw him. She’d reached her locker and was digging out what she needed for first period when she heard his voice.

A moment later, he came up next to her and threw his arm around her. “Hey,” he said. “Forgot to give you this Friday.” He shoved his unfinished math homework at her. “I need it by lunch.”

Holly Jo had thought he’d say something about what had happened at the dance. She stared at him for a few heartbeats as if seeing him for the first time. He’d seemed so cute, so sweet, so pathetic when it came to math.

She shoved the papers away. “I won’t be helping you with your math assignments anymore.” She grabbed her books and slammed her locker.

“If this is about the dance—”

Head up, Holly Jo walked away. She heard him mumbling something about how irrational girls were and swearing as he went to his own locker. She didn’t look back. At lunch he sat with his friends at another table.

“Buck Savage is such a jerk,” Tana said, and the girls at her table all agreed. Holly Jo changed the subject, and soon they were laughing about something silly one of their teachers had said.

She wanted the fiasco of her first boyfriend to be behind her, but all that day in school, her heart ached. Not for the Buck she now knew, but for what could have been. Elaine had said it would get better. Right now, it didn’t feel that way.

BAILEYGOTTHEcall from her father that the invitations for the barbecue had gone out. He sounded gruff, his voice edged with emotion.

“I’m so sorry I let you down.”

“Dad, you didn’t—”

He made a strangled sound, and she wondered how long it had been since she’d called him Dad. “Oh Bailey, if only I could go back and—”

“You’re helping me now. That’s what I need. Once this is over...” She was afraid to make promises she might not be able to keep. The future was a black hole, as if it didn’t exist. The thought terrified her—just as crossing paths withhimagain did. She knew that if he got the chance, he planned to hurt her again before he killed her. “Let’s just get past this barbecue.”

She got off the phone, knowing her father wanted and needed more from her, but she didn’t have it to give right now. Not to her father and not to Stuart, she thought, looking down at the ring he’d put on her finger.

Seeing it surprised her and reminded her it wasn’t a real engagement. It made her wish that she was happily planning her wedding right now. That alone shocked her. Wedding? If she’d given getting married any consideration, she would have thought that she’d want to elope or maybe not even get married.

Instead, she wanted more than anything to marry Stuart. She ached for a future with him. That’s why it had broken her heart when he’d put that ring on her finger. She’d loved him and hated him because it was only pretend. He couldn’t promise her that future any more than she could promise her father they’d have the time to mend the pain between them. She couldn’t plan anything past the barbecue. That’s ifhedidn’t show up sooner. Surprise!

She had no idea how much time she had left or what she should be doing with it. For twelve years, she’d taken the offensive and gone looking for him. She’d peered under every rock, and look where that had gotten her. She’d written what she’d found, and now it would be coming out for everyone to read. She pushed the thought away. Nothing she could do about that. She might not even be alive when the book came out.

All she could think about was the barbecue and coming face-to-face with the man who’d ruined much of her life. Her life had been on hold for so long. The years of searching with only two thoughts in mind.Find him. Kill him.

But she’d never thought past that. Because she’d thought that she would fail, that he would kill her, that there wasn’t anything past this? She looked down at the ring on her finger. Stuart. Her fiancé. Yet the only place they acted like they were in love was in public.

At his house, they were as they had been before. Distant. Her fault. She could see in his eyes how badly he wanted to take her to his bed. He had no idea how badly she wanted the same thing. But she couldn’t. She felt damaged and had for twelve years. It wasn’t just the scar on her breast. It was much deeper than that.

She told herself that once the man was dead, she would be ready to trust another man enough to make love with him. That man was Stuart Layton, she knew in her heart. But she couldn’t turn to him—not until this was over. If they made love, she would want a future with him so badly that she feared she couldn’t go through with the barbecue, let alone what she had to do when the man came for her.

All she could do was wait, something that went entirely against her nature. But there was no longer anywhere to look. She’d gotten her list down to four men—Earl Hall, Jay Erickson, AJ Plummer and Dickie Cline. None of them had a scar from the branding iron she’d hit the man with.

Yet all that had proven, Stuart told her, was that she hadn’t burned him enough to leave a lasting mark—unlike what he’d done to her. Even without the scar from the brand he’d burned into her flesh, he’d left his mark on her. Some days, she feared she’d never be able to overcome that.

So she waited, wondering if she would recognize him when he came for her. She had a feeling that this time he wanted her to know who he was—and why he was going to kill her.

CJWONDEREDWHENhis mother would be back to the jail. Or if she would at all. Maybe her visit the other day had been a trick. Mental torture. Offer him a way out and then take it back. Like something he might do.

Wasn’t there some expression about a leopard not being about to change his spots? He thought that was probably him. Doomed to make the same mistakes out of anger or greed or just plain meanness.

Changing would mean giving up his so-called business, the one Treyton McKenna better be running for him if he knew what was good for him. It would mean going back to the ranch with his mother still running it.

He shook his head. He’d never been good at taking orders. But at one time, he was in line to take over the ranch. His sisters wouldn’t be a problem, and he’d always been able to buffalo his younger brothers.

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