Page 76 of Her Faithful Protector

The gentle touch of her hand calms me, but her eyes betray her unease about what news awaits her. Inhaling deeply, I muster the courage to continue. “Willem has made me an offer.”

Ava straightens, her expression caught off guard as the news clearly surpasses her worst fears.

“He called me during our picnic,” I continue, my words falling out in a rush. “And someone handed me a photo of a basement.”

“Don’t. Please don’t even think about it!”

“There’s no way he could’ve known that basement unless he had legit information about my abduction.”

Her reaction is immediate, her face contorting with worry. “He’s going to trap you,” she warns. “The DOJ has withdrawn their contract from W-Bot. If you go near that system, you’ll be committing a crime.”

“I’ve been trying to piece my life together for two decades. A year or two in prison for that would mean nothing!”

She cringes. “What about us?”

“I love you with all my heart, Ava.” My voice wavers. “And Quinton. But we may need to rethink our future.”

“Jack!” Her voice, usually soothing, thunders with emotion. A harsh reminder of the gravity of my words.

“I don’t deserve you. I’m not just broken. I’m damaged beyond repair.”

“That’s bullshit!”

“I learned to speak again when I was twelve, Ava. I was drugged, beaten, brainwashed. And my scar…” My hands tremble as I reach down, gripping the fabric of my T-shirt. With a desperate motion, I pull up the hem, revealing the scar between my shoulder blades. “I got this from running away from my kidnapper. I can’t remember it, but the police found my bloodied clothes. It’s easy to connect the dots.”

She brings a hand to her mouth as if trying to hold back the emotions threatening to spill out. “Jack, I’m here for you. I don’t care if you’re in pieces. I don’t care if you’ve become dust in the wind. I will gather you, keep you. Please, don’t ever seek help from Willem.”

“The past has been haunting me like hunger. It won’t stop until I give in to it. Everyone has their demons, but I’ve nurtured mine. I’ve fed it all my life. I’ve cared for it, loved it. It’s gotten so big that the demon itself becomes me. I can’t kill it unless I cease to exist.” Sweat escapes my pores as if the demon is about to manifest itself.

Ava reaches out, her hand connecting with mine. “Everyone is broken in some ways.” Her compassion shines through as she utters the words. “But you have an endless amount of love to give me and Quinton instead of your demon. Your past has ruined you. Don’t let it ruin us.”

I struggle to find the strength to respond, but she ought to know where I stand. “Quinton deserves a father who can offer him love, not someone damaged by their past.” Rage blazes inside me, cursing the day it happened. But I curb my emotions. “Look at where we are, Ava. We’re in a temporary home arranged by my brother. I don’t even have a place to call my own—to offer you. The only home I’ve known is a monastery or military bases.”

“And you think that matters to me? Where we live or how many bedrooms our house has?”

She pauses, anticipating a realization from me. But I stay silent even after her eyes encourage me to say something.

Inhaling, she goes on. “Jack, Quinton, and I will come with you to Hawaii. You don’t have to choose between me and your career. I’ll be happy there because you’re there. Why don’t you believe me?”

I take a shaky breath, the gravity of my decision sinking my organs. “I believe you, Ava. But it’s not just that. I need to find closure. And if it’s through Willem, so be it. That’s why I decided to stay in Helena.”

She slumps back. “Have you forgotten what he did to Quinton?”

I lower my head as she continues, her words filled with caution. “Even if he grants your wishes, what comes after? What if you don’t find what you’re searching for? What if that time is spent behind bars?”

“I will track down my kidnapper, or I will have no peace.”

“Without me and Quinton?”

“My leave ends in two days, but I won’t return to Hawaii. I will face the consequences and resign from the Corps. I will be penniless, living like a wanderer, maybe even a madman. I can’t be the man you deserve. I am not just broken, Ava. I am not even dust in the wind. I’m a pile of shattered glass. Whoknows what harm I might cause you—it could be more than just a scratch or a bruise.”

She stands up and walks away. I find her leaning against the chilly surface of the kitchen counter. Oh, how I despise myself! How could I ever bring that woman to tears?

I approach her, the floor creaking under my weight. “Ava,” I whisper. “If I could erase the path that led me to that disaster, I would. I would set fire to the fair in Syracuse so that fateful night would never happen. Or if it was destiny for me to be kidnapped, I would have hunted down those policemen who neglected their duty and abandoned me!”

The room falls silent until she whispers, “It’s too late though now, Jack. Isn’t it?”

A dull ache settles in my chest. “I could’ve denied my need to find closure. Because of you, because of Quinton. But I would’ve lied. I would’ve kept having nightmares. I need to know the man responsible for ruining me. Where I’m going next is Florida—I’m sure that’s where the basement is. Then, who knows what I’ll find? What if I have to go to Mexico? Or one of those dangerous countries where child kidnapping is rife? You may be able to support me, but we can’t drag Quinton into this.”

---