Page 48 of Clashing Moon

“Twenty-nine years,” Sally said. “But maybe we start in the present. Tell me more about your life in Bluefern. Oh, and I want to know about your college experience and medical school and why you decided to be a vet. Who your best friend is. What do you like for dessert? Everything.”

So, I did as requested. I told her all of the details of my life. My time at medical school. My best friends Breck and Abby. “Both veterinarians but far away from me, sadly.”

“Oh, that’s a shame.” Sally leaned forward, seemingly hanging on my every word. It felt so good to be listened to and to be gazed at with such love. “But they sound lovely.”

I told her about the slow realization my father was showing signs of dementia until finally I made the nearly impossible decision to come home and take care of him. “Even though he was terrible, he was my father. Knowing what I know now, though, I don’t think I would have come. I’d have let him rot there alone.”

“You say that, but my guess is you’re too softhearted to have done so.”

Buoyed by her attention, I told her more about my childhood. “My grandmother came to live with us after you…were sent away. She took care of my physical needs but wasn’t really available emotionally if you know what I mean.”

“I remember her.” Sally shuddered. “She hated me.”

“She hated everyone. She was almost as mean as him.”

Sally’s eyes filled again, and she dabbed at them with a tissue. “My poor baby. Stuck with them.”

“She died when I was eleven, and then it was just the two of us. I took care of cooking and cleaning, but I never let it get inthe way of studying. I’m not sure how I knew school was the only way I was going to get away from him, but I did.”

“And yet you came back.”

“He’s gone now, so I’m free. And now I know the truth.”

“It’s strange that he kept the cards I sent.” Sally glanced toward the fire. “It makes no sense.”

“I know. We’ll never know, I don’t think.”

I asked her questions then, wanting to know more about how she’d been groomed by my father.

“He saw me in a play, and he started just showing up in places. I worked in the diner after school, and he’d show up there, always at the end of my shift, and offer to walk me to my car. My home life wasn’t the greatest. I didn’t get a lot of love or affection, and he showered me with it. I read something recently about this concept of ‘love bombing.’ Have you heard of that?”

“Sure.”

“He charmed me—pursued me relentlessly until I slept with him. I got pregnant, obviously, and when I told him, he acted like he was happy. Maybe he was. He wanted to keep me there. Keep me small. He knew a baby was the way to do it. And it wasn’t until I’d given up everything—my plans for college and getting out of Bluefern—and married him that he showed me who he truly was. I was eight months pregnant the first time he hit me. Before that, it was only verbal brutality. I tried to protect you from him after you were born, and it wasn’t hard. He never showed much interest in you, which I couldn’t understand. I was obsessed with you. Maybe that’s what caused his violence to become worse. He was jealous. The time he pushed me down the stairs and I broke my leg, he left me in the house alone. I had to crawl to the phone to call someone to come get me and take me to the doctor. And you know what happened after that. The painkillers softened everything. Took the edge off. Made me less afraid of my husband. It all spiraled out of control, though, whenthe doctor cut me off. Arabella, the lengths I went to get those happy pills—it’s disgusting to think of now.”

“I’m so proud of you for your recovery.”

She smiled. “Thank you. I promised myself if I kicked it, I would spend the rest of my life trying to make something of myself. I got involved in the local theater scene here. I even went back to school and got a degree in drama. I was teaching school when I met Jacob. He changed my life.”

“Funny how the right person can do that,” I said.

“I’m all for women empowering themselves, but at the end of the day, having someone who supports you in all things is a true blessing. I’ve been lucky that way. And the boys have been the biggest joy. But there was always something missing.” She pressed her hand into her chest. “This part of me that had been cut out. You.”

Overcome with emotion, I teared up. “I’m here now.”

“I can’t fix the ways you suffered because of him. God knows I would if I could, but I’d consider it a privilege to be your mom now. We’ll never get back those years, but we could share a lot more. If you want.”

“I’ve always wanted a mother to share everything with—to tell all my secrets and dreams and experience unconditional love. I don’t think I really realized how much I needed you until I found the stack of cards.”

“We have a lot to look forward to now,” Sally said. “Holidays. Maybe wedding dress shopping?”

I laughed, glancing toward the door that led down to the basement. “I didn’t think it would be Rafferty Moon, that’s for sure. Hopefully, he’s feeling what I’m feeling.”

“I can assure you that he does.” She patted my knee, staring into my eyes. “What man wouldn’t want you?”

“My father made sure I thought the opposite. He called me Pudge.”

“Pudge? Why?”

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