Page 77 of Love Gamble

Chapter Thirty-Six

Corey

Damon telling my mom off must have gotten me a little hot, because we end up fucking against my door, his hard cock pushing me back against the wood with each thrust.

I don’t care who hears. I don’t care what my mom thinks. I think it’s time I let that all go because I can’t control her actions. And Damon is right, I don’t deserve any of the shit she dishes out to me. I don’t need to be around her and her toxic opinions. She’s my mother, she should have those parent goggles that other parents have. Most parents think their kids can’t do anything wrong, and everything they do is perfect. They brag about their kids’ mediocre abilities, but mine can’t even look me in the eye anymore.

Romeo was correct—it is her, not me.

And I can’t fix her. She needs to fix herself.

But she won’t.

So, I’ll forever be the black sheep, and I’m going to have to learn to accept that and be okay with it.

Mom is in the lounge room watching a movie with Romeo, Julianna, and Julian when we go back downstairs, so I give that area a wide berth and head outside, where Bella is on her phone, furiously texting.

“Hey,” I say, sitting down next to her.

She turns to me. “Hey, are you okay? I’m so sorry about your mom. I’m actually shocked at how mean she is to you. I was just messaging River about it. I’m so angry he hasn’t handled this.”

“Well, we haven’t seen each other in a long time, so River hasn’t had to really be around her when I’m there,” I reply, looking out over the yard. “And she’s not like this with him. It is what it is, I suppose. Damon had words with her, and now I think I’m just going to avoid her until it’s time for her to leave.”

“Fair enough. I wouldn’t want to be around that, either,” she admits, turning and lifting her legs so they are resting on my lap. “It’s a miracle you turned out so well, Corey. You should be proud of yourself. You’ve grown so much since I first met you, too. I’m so happy you are my sister.”

Swallowing hard, I nod in agreement. “I’m happy you are, too.”

Even though it’s hard to see Mom be so kind and loving to Bella, it would be worse to see her be rude and cold to Bella.

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else.

It is my burden to bear.

“River said he got what he needed from Tatum, so he’s releasing him to Gio now,” she says, reading her phone screen.

“Hopefully this is all going to be over soon,” I mutter, wanting today to end. It’s been a long day. “What do you think about Rosalind? Think she was on our side?”

“I don’t know, she’s a bit of a wild card, isn’t she? I mean, she knew about Leif, and if he wasn’t on our side that information could have potentially saved my life.”

“That’s true.”

If Leif wasn’t loyal to us, Bella could be dead right now, and our clubhouse would have been on fire. Lucky for us, though, we were one step ahead of the Lost Lions MC.

“Maybe she really does care for Julian. He’s pretty cute—how could anyone not?”

“Yeah, maybe. I hope she’s trying to redeem herself, but who knows? I’m just ready for life to go back to normal. Lisa can go back home, River can return, and we can walk around town doing whatever we want again. I’m never taking my freedom for granted again,” she says, pointing up to the sky. “Look, it’s a butterfly.”

And what do you know, it comes and lands right on me. “Every time I see a big, blue butterfly I think it’s Matthew,” I admit, and she smiles warmly. “You’re not mad I’m giving up on Mom, are you?” I ask the butterfly. “I hope you’re not, but I need to focus on me now.”

“I think he agrees with you,” Bella comments quietly. “We all do.”

He flies away, and I stare after him longingly.

And in this moment, I forgive myself, and let go of any guilt I’ve been holding over his death.

It wasn’t my fault, and if I could have, I would have died instead.

But I’m here, and that must be for a reason. I’m going to live and enjoy my life without feeling like I don’t deserve to.

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