Page 99 of Years in the Making

“We have pretty different lives. Well, not exactly different, we just don’t live near one another.”

“Distance is a terrible excuse. Why else?”

“No, it’s not so much the distance. It’s just that… well, he loves his job and I lo… like mine and it’s not like we can just relocate to do it.”

“In three years, is that job going to welcome you home froma long day? Is it going to hold you when you’ve had a bad day? Cook for you? Make your toes curl with its kisses?”

“No,” I say quietly.

“A job is just a job. It doesn’t give a shit about you.”

“Grandma!” one of her grandkids gasps. “Language.”

“Kelly, we have discussed this. I am tall enough to say whatever words I want without getting in trouble. When you are this tall, you may do the same.”

Kelly scoffs and goes back to her book. “Her mother is a bit of a prude,” Midge whispers to me. “Lovely woman, works admin at the mill, but…” She gives me a look that shows she has little patience for her. “Now.” She pats my knee heartily. “Back to this make-believe conundrum. I know it’s hard to find a job you lo… like and you went to school for and all that. I loved my job, sometimes more than the one I had at home, if I’m being honest. But at the end of the day, it was Stewart that made me happy, not the classroom.”

“I thought you hated your husband.” Midge hasn’t had a kind thing to say about the man since we arrived.

“He wasn’t well in his last couple of years, and he changed. Sometimes it’s easier to remember that person… easier to remember the pain he caused me—never physically,” she quickly reassures me when she sees my eyes widen. “Emotionally. He was unstable, and life was hell, quite frankly. Out here in the middle of nowhere, I’d just lost my best friend, and the man I’d spent forty years head over heels in love with seemed to hate me. But when he took his final breath at the hospital holding my hand, he looked at me and I saw him there, the Stewart I’d married. The man who had never raised his voice to me or called me a terrible name. And I realized that I had grieved that man already.”

“That’s a pretty big realization,” I say, reaching out and squeezing her hand.

“And I lied about it.” She laughs. “Al was the one who made me see it. Still in the throes of his grief, two years after Natasha left us. He said he’d watched me go through the same stuff, heard me say the same things he was thinking even though Stewart was still here physically.”

“I’m sorry Midge.”

“Nellie, don’t be sorry. I got years of happiness with a man I was mad about. How lucky am I? Some people never get that. Now.” She slaps her thigh. “I came today because I have something to discuss with you.”

Teddy still isn’t back when it’s time to close up the library, so I pick up a copy ofThe Forest of Despair, curl up in the beanbag chair, flip to my favorite part, and start reading, Kevin dreaming by my side, chasing after a chipmunk perhaps.

Dusk is settling when George’s truck pulls in, and I slip my glasses onto my head and unabashedly watch Teddy unfold himself from the passenger seat. He and George exchange goodbyes, and he starts to make his way over. Kevin greets him halfway, and I feel my insides turn to mush when he picks the little dog up for a snuggle.

“Hey you,” he says, dropping to his knees beside me. “I should have known you’d be reading your favorite book.”

“How was your day?” I ask after I kiss him quickly. Something that feels new and somehow like the most natural thing in the world.

He eyes the top of my head, and a soft smile forms. “Ah, it was interesting,” he says slowly, reaching up and gently untangling the glasses from my hair and holding them out for me.

“Mine too,” I muse, slipping them into my bag, alongside my book.

“How was yours interesting?” he asks, leaning in for a quick kiss.

I shake my head and pull him back when he starts to retreat. “I want to hear about your day first,” I murmur against his lips.

He hums in response before sitting back, his hands resting on my knees. “Well, it started with this hot make-out session at the lake.” Teddy’s eyes rake down my body, and I feel my skin heat. “Then I think I was offered a job, or a temporary job anyway.” He seems confused by what he’s telling me.

“What kind of job?”

“Betty asked if I’d be interested in taking over the shelter for a bit. Joshua could use more treatments and more regular visits with his physiotherapist to help him get back on his feet. Their daughter suggested that they move in with her in Timmins so they could be closer to the hospital. Especially for the winter.”

“And what did you say?” I ask nervously.

His gaze holds mine and I feel like he’s going to wreck me again. “I said I’d think about it. I wanted to talk to you first.”

“Why? You don’t need my permission.”

“No,” he says. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want your opinion or your input in any way I can get it.” He takes the book out of my hand and sets it aside, then takes both my hands in his. “What are you thinking, LG?”

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