Page 75 of Years in the Making

What I want to say is, “Yes, but you’ll have to remove my pants because I can’t seem to move at the minute. Then maybe we can just bang it out, and maybe, just maybe, this unbearable need I feel every time I look at you will ease a bit.” The skin on my palms almost begins to itch with the need to feel that ass in my hands again, like in her car and all those years ago in the pool. A sensory memory that has never faded.

I finally manage to swallow and clear my throat, “Uh, one of the kids was asking about borrowing time for the books.”

Nellie straightens and slowly turns towards me. “Seven days, although unlike a regular library, we don’t have cards to track or fines for being late. I asked about maybe doing a temporary card system, but that would have been too expensive. And this was already a gamble with the cost of the Airstream and me being gone for so long. Anyway, you asked a simple question, and that was a diatribe. Seven days is the official time.” She looks nervous suddenly. She used to look like that when she’d get lost in a thought. Telling me about a bird or some fact she’d read about. I’m not turned on so much now but I seem to be lost in my astonishment.

She’s so similar to how she was before. The way she holds eye contact with me and the slight tilt of her head. I’m still stuck in place when her face crinkles in concern. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, no, totally fine, maybe just a bit tired.”

She nods in understanding. “You’ll definitely sleep better in the bunkie.” She turns back to the crate and grabs a few books before moving towards me, or the door.

“Oh no, you can have the bunkie, I’m fine in the truck.”

She stops in front of me, her eyes nearly atthe same height as mine as I remain a couple of steps down. “Teddy, I could practically hear the truck rocking last night while you tossed and turned. And unless you had a surprise guest, I’m guessing it wasn’t because you were sleeping well.”

“Okay, so the truck isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, but I can’t imagine that two-inch mattress is much better,” I say, pointing up at the just visible flip-down bed.

Nellie’s eyes follow my hand. “No, but my whole body fits on it so I can stretch out.”

“I’m also not leaving you out here alone while I go to wherever the hell this bunkie is.”

“I don’t need your protection, Teddy.” Nellie’s expression has turned stormy. I know she’s about to give me a lecture on how just because she’s a woman that doesn’t mean she needs some man to watch out for her.

“I know you don’t need protection, Nellie,” I cut in. “You’re very capable. I just know that no mattress is going to help me sleep better if you’re not nearby. Maybe it’s me that needs protection, ever think of that?”

Nellie gives me a very long, slow, deliberate once-over before stepping even closer. I can smell the lake on her mingling with her soap. Her breath tickles my ear as she says, “It’s me you’d need protection from, Teddy.”

I’m left wondering what the hell that means as she pushes past me and back outside. I don’t know how she made it sound like a threat and a proposition. And I don’t know how the hell I’m even more turned on now with the thought of it being both. Prying my feet from where they have been stuck to the steps, I close myself in the tiny bathroom just to collect myself.

When my mind and body have calmed down enough for me to leave the trailer, I find Nellie chatting animatedly to a guy only slightly taller than her. Part of my brain tells me to stomp over there, punch the guy, and carry her away. Clearlythe less evolved part of my brain. The other part wants me to let things go because Nellie can do whatever she wants, which includes talking to and flirting with whomever she likes.

“Dad!” I hear Devon call out, and I look up to see the guy squat down as Devon approaches with a book. The guy looks up at Nellie and smiles, and I watch as she lowers herself to join in on the show and tell.She doesn’t want kids, I remind myself. But she had admitted that to me at twenty; my brother changed his mind at thirty. People change their minds.

“He’s a flirt, just like his dad,” Midge says, making me jump halfway out of my skin.

“Sorry?”

“My son.” She nods towards the guy. “Only one of my boys who’s single, but that’s his own doing.”

“Because he’s a flirt?” I force myself to look down at her.

“That, and he let his wife leave. Didn’t fight for her.”

“Maybe she didn’t want to be fought for,” I suggest, looking back at Nellie who is laughing at something Devon is animatedly describing.

Midge is quiet for a minute, and when I look back she’s studying me. “Hmm.” She narrows her eyes. “You’re not together.”

“Nope.”

“But you want to be together.”

“Nope.” I shake my head.

“Liar.” She smirks up at me. “But then again, you are a man, so it’s a habit.”

“I’m not lying.”

She studies me some more before shaking her head. “Then you’re a dumbass.”

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