Page 59 of Years in the Making

Do you have everything ready?

Would you believe everything is already in the truck?

Even Kevin?

*Picture of Teddy’s hip and a sleeping Kevin next to him on the couch.

He’s getting all his sleep in now

Well, he does have to keep me awake during the long stretches

I’m more than willing to help with that too

I stare at the message trying to figure out if it’s innocent or not.

I’m a really good shoulder flicker

Innocent it is.

TWENTY-THREE

TEDDY

I reread my last message to Nellie no fewer than ten times.I’m a really good shoulder flicker.What the fuck does that even mean? I sent the message about helping her stay awake during the long stretches, then I immediately went somewhere dirty in my mind, and I panicked. Now I’m pretty sure I’ve come off as a weirdo.

Nellie

So I’m in good hands

I wish she was in my hands. I wish I had handled everything better twelve years ago. But that’s easy to think now, when hindsight is indeed twenty-twenty. I know for a fact that if I could go back to my past self and say to my face,Walking away is going to be the biggest mistake of your life, I’d still do it. I’d still send those last two words to Nellie and walk away. Sometimes we need to get lost to find ourselves, and I had to get real lost.

And paws!

The cutest lil paws!

I can practically see her typing that. Her nose scrunches up as she makes an adorable ‘aw’ face, thinking of Kevin’s little paws.

The conversation has been steady so I decide to test my luck.

What are you up to?

Eating salad and watching Downton

I look up from my phone at the show muted on the TV. So much of my time with Nellie has crept back in over the years. When I started to feel more leveled out, I picked a book up again, a well-loved copy ofThe Forest of DespairI found at a hostel in Australia. While staying with a friend in Hungary, I stumbled acrossDownton Abbeyon TV, and I started watching it again. Things that were only in my life in the first place because of her. And now a couple days away from our trip north, we are sitting in our own homes, watching the same thing and texting each other. This is totally something friends would do.

You?

Just being lazy with Kev until I’ve got to feed the dogs

The life!

At ten to six, I head downstairs to start the task of delivering the food to the dogs’ designated areas. While they eat, I get all the cleanup stuff ready. Everyone gets excited when they find out where I work, but they don’t think about the stuff that doesn’t involve cuddling or playing with dogs.For instance, thirty-two dogs create a lot of waste. This isn’t a case of running out quickly with a poop bag. Picking up dog shit is half of what I do on an average day. But no one wants to hear about that part of the job. “I had a shitty day” means something different in this line of work.

Marley comes out when I’m almost done to take over the last little bit of pick up. I’m grateful because it gives my back a break. It doesn’t take long though before I sense she has an ulterior motive to being so helpful.

“So how are you feeling about the trip?” she asks, dumping a shovel full of shit into the bucket.

“Great. I’m looking forward to seeing Nellie’s operation and, of course, seeing the shelter up there.”

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