Page 46 of Years in the Making

“No.” Izzy points at her. “Youonly care about ‘getting your rocks off.’ Nellie here is a ‘meant to be’ type.”

I used to be, I think.

Seven Years Later

“You look stunning babe,” Mark says, pulling me close and kissing my neck.

“You don’t look half bad yourself.” I pull back and give him an approving once-over. “Definitely the only groomsman I want to go home with.”

“He’s totally going to propose after his brother’s wedding.” Izzy had said when I walked out of the dressing room in the dress I was currently wearing. “He may do it during the ceremony. I would.”

Being married to Mark wouldn’t be so bad. My parents seem to like him. He is nice-ish, and I feel good with him. It isn’t an all-consuming feeling, not like I kept expecting to feel, but it’s more than nothing. I’m sure the big ‘I would die for this man’ feelings are just around the corner.

Seven Years and Three Months Later

“What do you mean you said no?” Izzy squawks from where she sits beside me on the couch.

“He asked me to marry him and I said no,” I explain again. “I didn’t even want to move in with him. Does that scream ‘this is the one’ to you?”

“Meant-to-be person, remember?” Marley whispers. She’s currently in some half-destroyed hotel in god knows where and doesn’t seem at all bothered by the large booms coming from somewhere in the distance.

“But you two seemed so good together. Shit, I owe Tom a…” She stops abruptly, her cheeks pinking slightly. “I lost a bet.”

“Blowjob, Izzy. It’s okay, you can say it. This is a safe space.” Marley laughs as another boom sounds from somewhere closer.

Mark had asked in a restaurant, and I’d sat there staring at the large diamond ring he held out to me. And I felt absolutely nothing.

“At least you don’t have to move or anything,” Marley says with a shrug. “Small mercies.”

“Has it ever felt right with any of the men you’ve dated? Maybe the timing was wrong?”

One guy, I think, and the timing was terrible apparently. “No,” I say slowly.

“Liar,” Marley huffs and then covers her mouth while I glare at her.

The interaction doesn’t go unnoticed by Izzy’s mother-of-two gaze. “What? What does that mean?” She turns to me. “What don’t I know?”

“It was a summer fling.”

“With whom?”

“Just a guy. It doesn’t matter. He took off, and I haven’t seen him since.” That’s all I ever told Marley. Teddy hasalways been “just a guy” to those who didn’t know me back then.

Izzy sits back and crosses her arms. “So is this fling the reason you said no?”

“It was a fling when I was too young to get it. Things were great until he peaced out. I’d say that is a clear indication that he wasn’t the one.”

“If you expect it, it’ll never happen,” Marley says.

“So you’re open to the unexpected, are you?” Izzy asks.

“I thrive on the unexpected, Iz. It really gets me going.” She winks at us, and we laugh.

My two best friends could not be more different in how they approach relationships. Izzy was married by the end of her first year of university and still managed to finish and go on to get her master’s and PhD. Marley has no interest in spending more than one night with the same guy. Then there’s me, refusing to acknowledge that when it comes to my heart, no one has ever measured up to Teddy. It’s exceptionally annoying since he was only around for two months. There is no logical reason he should still have my heart under lock and key.

Twelve Years Later, December

I could barely sleep last night. The thought of getting Marley back to Bennett was too exciting. I felt like I was about to give someone the best gift, like a puppy or new car. But instead of either of those things, I was taking my anti-relationship best friend to the man who’d rescued her in the middle of the woods when she’d sprained her ankle. I would have put money on this happening eventually; when Izzy and I picked Marley up in October, her body came willingly but mentally she seemed elsewhere. It only took nearly dying in Syria for her to realize what, or rather who, she wanted.

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