Page 109 of Years in the Making

“You sure you don’t need anything?” Marley asks, sitting next to me.

I shake my head, refusing to look away from Teddy. He looks so small in the hospital bed. He’d woken up momentarily when he was brought back to his room after having a plethora of tests done, but he’d only blinked at me a couple of times before his eyes closed again. He’s going to be okay, though. I keep repeating that over and over to myself because the thought of him not being okay is not something I am willing to entertain.

“How’s your head?”

“Better,” I mutter.

“Whiplash is a bitch. Make sure you report any changes okay?” Marley says, squeezing my arm.

“I finally got Teddy’s dad on the phone,” Bennett announces quietly as he returns to the room. “He’s going to call his brother and sister, and they may head up.”

“Good,” I reply.

Watching Teddy fall was the single most terrifying moment of my life. I could handle being left. I could not handle him leaving like that, though. Not after how far we’d come. Not after reuniting after years of being apart just to have him taken away from me because of some idiot falling asleep at the wheel.I thought he was dead. I thought every dream we’d started to dream together was dead too. And I kept telling him I couldn’t do this without him, not now, not after letting him back in, the entire way to the hospital.

He was diagnosed with blunt liver trauma from when the airbag deployed, and he’d had some internal bleeding, which explained why he’d passed out. Adrenaline can only keep a person going for so long. The doctor had said a lot of words about what they’d done already and then what would be happening going forward, but I don’t remember anything other than the five at the end: “He’s going to be alright.” I refuse to let myself believe the doctor had said anything other than that, despite knowing deep down a doctor would never say anything with such certainty.

Now I replay the events of last night over and over again. I think I’d just told him to take me with him next time. I start to cry again as images of him falling replace everything else. He had been so close to leaving me. I feel Marley’s arms come around me, and I let go.

“He almost left me again,” I sob into her shoulder.

“I know, Nell, but he didn’t. He stayed,” she murmurs into my hair. “He’s never going anywhere without you again, okay? He’s staying.” She rubs my back and lets me cry until my sobs turn to soft hiccups and I catch my breath.

At some point, Bennett convinces someone to bring in a cot, and after Marley assures me they’ll wake me up if Teddy wakes before me, I fall asleep.

“Is that… Nellie?” I hear a voice ask somewhere in the distance.

“It looks like her,” another voice pipes up.

Then a voice that I’ve been longing to hear confirms groggily. “Yes.”

I sit up fast, too fast, and I tip back onto my side. “Slow down, Nell,” Marley says, sitting next to me.

“He’s awake,” I mumble quietly, using my arm to push myself back up as slowly as I can manage. “Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“I told her not to.” Teddy’s voice is gravelly from sleep. “Hey, LG,” he says softly when I finally look over.

He’s sitting up, wide awake and alive. His dark hair shoots off in different directions and his blue eyes are sleepy, but it’s the best view I’ve ever seen. I know there are more people in the room than there had been when I fell asleep, but I don’t see them. I just see Teddy as I grab his face and kiss him.

“I’m so sorry,” he says as tears fall down his face.

“For what?”

“You could have died. I nearly lost you.” He’s searching my eyes as though he’ll find confirmation there.

I shake my head and grip his face a bit tighter. “No, I’m fine. But I nearly lost you. You’re not allowed to scare me like that again, do you fucking understand me? You had just promised to take me with you next time and then you…” I can feel the panic start to set in again, and I force myself to take a few deep breaths. “You nearly left me again.” It comes out as a whisper.

Teddy lifts his IV-less hand and rests his palm on my cheek, his thumb wiping tears away. “I didn’t mean to, LG,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

I can’t help but laugh at that fucking word. “We are not good at not using that word.”

He laughs then grabs his abdomen, his hand falling from my face as he winces in pain.

“Shit, EG, don’t laugh,” I scold.

“Then don’t make me,” he grunts.

I bend to lay my forehead against his and his hand covers mine on the bed.

---