Page 103 of Years in the Making

“We can’t go back, Teddy.”

“I know,” he says with a sad smile. “But going back was never part of my plan. Once upon a time, I fell for this library science student named Nellie. She had wild auburn hair that she always got her glasses stuck in. She loved books and birds and drove me wild. One day a shadow darkened my world, and not even Nellie’s light could lead me out of the darkness. Then many years later, back in the world of light, I fell for a librarian named Nellie. She has wild auburn hair that she always gets her glasses stuck in. She loves books and birds and driving me fucking wild.”

My face is probably as red as a tomato. “You should be a writer,” I tease.

“I really should be. I didn’t follow my true calling of writing very basic and repetitive fairy tales about the woman I’m in love with.”

“It’s too soon,” I whisper.

“It’s too damn late,” he says with conviction. “At twenty-two, I was too dumb to recognize what it was. I thought it was infatuation or basic feelings. Nellie, it turns out I have felt those things for other people.” I hate those people. “But I’ve never felt what I feel for you. It came back to life in December, this constant reminder of who you were.”

“And who am I?” I ask, my voice somehow not giving away the nervous excitement bubbling away in my brain.

I watch those pale blue eyes search mine and I know exactly what he’s about to say. “Mine,” Teddy whispers back. It’s not a possessive mine or an expression of ownership. Probably because I feel the same about him. Like he has been mine since the start.

We both reach for the other’s faces at the same time, and a nervous laugh bubbles out of me as he wipes a tear from my cheek because I was about to do the same to him.

“On a scale of one to ten, how corny was that?” he asks.

I pretend to think about it, hemming and hawing until he gives me an exasperated look. “About a nine. But I like corny so feel free to be as corny as you want when it comes to telling me how you feel.”

“So you’re up for trying?”

“Very much so.” I manage to say before his lips crash into mine. I’ve never kissed someone I’ve decided is mine, and it turns out that it’s a pretty spectacular experience. Five stars, would recommend.

Teddy pulls me into his lap, and it doesn’t take long for his back to hit the rock beneath us. I chase his mouth with my own and give over to every instinct in me. His hands grip my hips and pull me so hard against him that he breaks the kiss, gasping for air, his pupils blown wide as I establish a rhythm.

It’s getting dark, and I know we are very alone out here, so I do something I have wanted to do since the day we were caught hugging. I reach between us and undo his shorts. Teddy catches on quickly and does the same with mine. Seconds later and after some slightly creative maneuvering, I’m sinking torturously slowly down onto him. When I’m fully seated, I hold still and watch him try to stay in control. Bending down I kiss him slowly, our moans trapped between us. When I givemy hips the smallest swivel, Teddy’s head drops back, his mouth open in a silent moan.

When his gaze meets mine again, I smile down. “Mine,” I say and watch as his eyes darken ever so slightly.

His grip goes from feather light to bruising and I love it. I want his fingerprints seared into my skin. I want to feel them for days so that when I get home I can remember this wasn’t all a fever dream. My head tips back, and his left hand reaches under my shirt to pull me free from my bra. I’m almost too sensitive as he tweaks and pinches. He shifts beneath me, and his hand goes to the back of my neck.

“Look at me.” His warm breath hits my throat and the added sensation makes me shudder.

He’s sitting up now, his arm like a vice around my hips while his other hand maintains a light grip on my neck. “Hey there, pretty girl,” he purrs when our eyes meet. “This feels like a dream.”

“A good one?” I ask, the tension building to an impossible height.

“The best,” he exhales against my lips right before he kisses me.

“So close,” I murmur against his lips.

I’m only vaguely aware of his hand moving down my body, but when his thumb connects with me, I feel every part of me come alive. Every tiny hair stands on end, every single cell is engaged as pleasure detonates within me.

“So beautiful,” he rasps, burying his face into my chest and letting out a strangled cry.

“Betty and Joshua have a lake not far from their place,” Teddy says as we head back to the bunkie, batting mosquitos the whole way.

I look down at where our hands are connected and lean into him. “You should have mentioned that earlier. I would have said yes immediately.”

“That felt like cheating. I wanted you to want to stay for me, not the lake.”

“Can’t I have both?” I look up at him, and I’m greeted by that serene smile I haven’t seen in years.

“You can have everything you want,” he whispers, leaning down to kiss me.

Kevin is trotting in front of us, his little tail wagging away. “Do you think we’ve traumatized him?” I bite my lip with worry.

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