Page 40 of Snow Kisses

Her eyes widened with shock. “What?”

He searched her face with eyes that barely saw. “Every vacation, all I heard about was how great New York was, how well you were doing in your damned career. Until finally I made sure I was out of the house when you came to visit, because it hurt so much to hear how happy you were away from me.”

“But, I wasn’t…” she began.

He wasn’t listening. His hands slid under her hips and forced her up against his. “Feel it, damn you,” he whispered harshly. “You’ve done this to me since you were fifteen. But it’s something I hate, Abby, and I hate you, too, for doing it to me, for teasing me. Because I know you don’t give a damn for anything except your career and your city men. And nothing you say is going to convince me otherwise!”

She swallowed nervously, her mouth trembling as she realized how set his mind really was. He’d cared, and she hadn’t known. Even when Melly told her, she had refused to believe. What had she done?

“Cade,” she whispered, reaching a hand up to his face.

“What do you want, baby, to see how I make love? To get a taste of what you missed when you stepped onto that bus four years ago?” He jerked her closer and bent his head. “I don’t mind showing you. It will be something to tell your sophisticated friends about when you get back to your own world!” He kissed her again, hurting her, as if it didn’t matter anymore whether he hurt her.

She could hardly believe what she’d just heard. He’d cared, he’d really cared enough to ask her not to leave Painted Ridge. And because she’d put on a brave front and gone away laughing, he’d believed it was because she was glad to be leaving him. Of all the horrible ironies…

She went limp in his arms, tears washing her face while he treated her like something he’d bought for the night, his hands insulting, his mouth probing mercilessly into hers. It didn’t matter that she loved him more than life, because if she told him now, he wouldn’t believe her. He’d just said so, and he thought she was only teasing, playing games with him until she went home. Home. If only he knew that Painted Ridge would always be home—because it was where he was.

She felt cold to the bone, as though there were not a trace of warmth anywhere inside her trembling body. She felt the restless motion of his body against hers, and wondered through a fog of misery if he really meant to take her completely.

But seconds later, he lifted his head as if he’d just tasted the tears, and looked down at her. His facewas haunted-looking, his eyes blazing with frustrated passion. His powerful body shuddered.

“And this is as far as it goes, honey,” he said with a cold, mocking smile. “You wouldn’t want to risk going back to New York with my child growing inside you, would you, Abby? That would be taking the game too far.”

Her face felt tight with hurt. She could feel her body trembling under the hard pressure of his, but he’d never know it was with helpless desire, not fear. Despite everything—even his harsh treatment—she still wanted him, would always want him. Nor did the thought of a child bring any terror to her. It was the very door of heaven.

He took a deep breath and rolled away from her, lying with his eyes closed and his bare chest lifting and falling unevenly while she fumbled with catches and buttons.

She got jerkily to her feet and smoothed down her wild blond hair, trying to find the hairpins his insistent fingers had removed. She leaned against one of the sturdy trees by the riverbank until she could get her breath back and stop crying. Finally, she dragged the hem of her blouse over her red eyes to remove the hot, salty tears from her cheeks.

She heard a sound behind her, over the noise of the river washing lazily between the banks, and she knew Cade was standing behind her. But she didn’t turn.

“Are you all right?” he asked after a minute, and the words sounded torn from him.

She looked over her shoulder at him, and her ravaged face caused something violent to flash in his eyes.

“Don’t look so worried, Cade,” she said with enormous dignity. “You made your point. I’m through throwing myself at you. You’ve cured me for good this time.” She managed a soft little laugh, although her swollen lips trembled and spoiled the effect.

He rammed his hands into his pockets and stared at her stiff back. “I’ll keep out of your way until Melly gets back from the honeymoon,” he said curtly. “I’ll expect the same courtesy from you. What happened…almost happened here isn’t going to be allowed to happen again.”

She bit her lower lip to keep from crying. “Cade…what you said…were you really going to ask me to stay, when I was eighteen?” she asked in a ghost of a whisper.

He laughed bitterly. “Sure,” he said. “I was going to offer you the job I finally gave Melly.” He looked away so that she wouldn’t see the lie in his dark eyes, or the deep pain that accompanied it.

She straightened, a surge of disappointment and hurt raging through her body. She had hoped that he’d wanted to marry her.

“Can we go back now?” she asked in a subdued tone.

“Might as well. I’ve got cattle to work.”

“And I’ve got a wedding dress to finish.” The sound of her words made her want to scream with anguish. There would never be a wedding for her. She walked quietly to the truck without looking at him and got in.

He loaded the basket and the cloth in the back of the truck with quick, furious motions and paused to shruginto his shirt and slam his ranch hat on his head before he got in beside her.

She felt his eyes on her, but she was staring out at the landscape.

“Abby,” he said quietly, “it’s better this way. You’ll hate me for a while, but you’ll get over it.”

“I don’t hate you,” she said in a whisper. “You don’t want commitment any more than I do, Cade, so there’s nothing to regret.”

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