Page 20 of Snow Kisses

“I’ve never touched one since, either,” he added with a quiet smile.

“Learned your lesson, huh?” she murmured with a feeble attempt at humor.

He nodded. “Can you sleep now?”

The thought of the dark room was disquieting, but she erased the nervousness from her eyes. “Yes. I think so.”

“You can sleep with me if you want to,” he said quietly, and she knew exactly what he meant—that he’d die before he’d touch her, unless she wanted it.

Hesitantly, her hand went out to touch his arm, a light touch that was quickly removed. “Thank you,” she said softly. “But I’ll be all right now.”

His eyes searched hers for a long moment. “You trust me, don’t you?” he asked gently.

“Yes,” she said simply. “More than anyone else in the world, Cade, if it means anything.”

“Yes,” he bit off, “it means something.”

“The carpet!” she exclaimed suddenly. “Oh, Cade, I’ll bet the carpet’s ruined….”

“I’ll buy a new one. Go to bed.”

“Thank you,” she said as he turned to go out into the hall. “I…I…Melly said I should have told you about it, but I didn’t…I wasn’t sure….”

“You didn’t think that I’d blame you?” he asked softly.

She stared down at the carpeted floor, embarrassed now that he knew.

“Stop it, for God’s sake,” he said bluntly. “So you got mauled. You’ve had a terrible experience, and I’m sorry as hell, but it doesn’t change who you are!”

Her lips trembled. “I feel unclean,” she whispered, shaken. “As if I’d been robbed of something I had the right to give to a man I chose. He touched me in ways no man ever did, not even you…”

He drew in a ragged breath. “Yes, you were robbed, but not of your chastity. Even if he’d raped you, you’d still have that.”

She stared up at him numbly. “What?”

He lit a cigarette with unsteady fingers. “Oh, hell, I’m putting this badly.” He blew out a cloud of smoke and stared down at her with narrowed eyes. “Abby, how long ago did it happen?”

“Week before last,” she confessed.

“Okay, and you’re still raw, that makes sense. But you’ll get over it. And it will be different, with a man you care about.”

Her lips pouted. “It wasn’t any different this afternoon. You scared me to death.”

His face paled, but he didn’t look away. “My fault. I’ve been without a woman for a while, and the feel of you went to my head. I was rougher than I ever meant to be. But you’ve got to help yourself a little by not dwelling on what happened to you.”

“How can I help it? It makes me sick just remembering…!” she burst out.

“Put it in perspective, honey,” he said curtly, jamming his bandaged hand in his pocket as if he were afraid he might try to touch her with it. “Has it occurred to you that by letting the experience warp your mind, you’re giving that piece of scum who attacked you more rights over you than you’d give a husband?”

She stared at him, stunned.

He took another long draw from the cigarette. “You’re giving him the right to dominate your life, by dwelling on what happened, by blowing up what he did to you and letting it lock you up emotionally and physically.”

“I…hadn’t thought of it like that.”

“Suppose you start.”

She wrapped her arms around her trembling body. “You can’t know how it is for a woman,” she murmured. “Against a man’s strength…”

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