Page 30 of Texas Honor

It was a kiss like nothing she’d ever imagined in her life. She held him tenderly, her hands smoothing his thick, dark hair, her body throbbing its whole length where she could feel the powerful muscles of his body taut and smooth.

He tasted of coffee, and there was a new tenderness in him, in the lips that delicately pushed at hers so that his tongue could enter the soft, sweet darkness of her mouth. She felt it touch hers, tangle with it, and she gave herself up to a sensation that was all mystery and delight.

His hands smoothed down her sides, her back, savoring the smooth suppleness of her skin. He ached like hell, and he could have cursed himself for causing this, for forgetting how naive she was. She wanted him and, God, he wanted her! But he could make her pregnant. And part of her would hate him forever if he forced this on her. It wasn’t going to be good for her. She was so much a virgin...

His cheek slid against hers, and he rolled onto his side, holding her protectively to him, feeling her breasts crush softly against his chest.

“Hold me,” he whispered. “Just hold me until we stop trembling.”

“I want you,” she whimpered, beyond thought, beyond pride. She bit his shoulder. “I want you.”

“I know. But we can’t.” His cheek nuzzled hers, and his lips touched her tear-streaked face tenderly. He hadn’t realized she was crying until then. He drew a breath. “Are you all right?” he asked softly.

“I ache,” she sobbed.

“I could satisfy you,” he whispered. “Without going all the way.”

She sensed that. Her eyes searched his in wonder. “No,” she said after a minute. “I won’t do that to you.” She touched his face, fascinated by the look the words produced. “I’m sorry. I should have said something a long time ago. I should have asked you to stop.”

“But it was too sweet, wasn’t it?” he asked, his voice quiet and deep as he touched her face with fingers that were possessive and gentle. “So sweet, like making love with every part of us. I’ve never in my life experienced anything like it. Not even sex was ever this good.”

That shocked her, and her eyes mirrored it. “Not... even sex?”

He shook his head. “With you I think it would be lovemaking, not sex. I don’t think you and I could accept something as coldly clinical as that.”

She was so tempted. She wanted him desperately. Everybody did it these days, didn’t they? Maybe she wouldn’t get pregnant. She loved him. Loved him!

But he saw the uncertainty in her eyes and mistook it for fear. For God’s sake, where was his brain, anyway? She was a virgin. Lillian was right downstairs. Was he crazy? He ignored the feverish hunger of his body and managed to smile reassuringly as he slowly drew away from her to sit up with a hard sigh.

“No more, honey,” he said heavily and managed to laugh. “I’m too old for this kind of playing.”

Playing? She stared at him helplessly as he forced his staggered brain to function and found her gown. He put her into it with a minimum of fuss and then lifted her long enough to turn down the covers. He put her under them, smoothing them over her breasts.

He couldn’t tell her that his own vulnerability and weakness had shocked him. He hadn’t planned this, he hadn’t expected to be drawn into such a long, intimate loving. It had been loving, of a kind. He scowled, watching her, fascinated by her innocence, her helpless reaction to his touch. He’d come to her room, in fact, to tell her that he wanted to get on a friendly footing with her, to stop the intimacy that could all too easily overwhelm both of them. But the sight of her in that tub had wiped every sane thought right out of his mind. Now he looked at her and saw commitment and the loss of his precious freedom. He saw all the old wounds, the helplessness of his attraction to that tramp who’d taken him in.

With a rough curse he got to his feet, running an angry hand through his hair.

“You needn’t look at me that way,” she bit off, close to tears again but for a totally different reason. “As if I were a fallen woman. I didn’t walk into your bathroom and start staring at you.”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen,” he said curtly.

She softened a little at the confession. He looked as shaken as she felt. “It’s all right,” she replied, fumbling with the coverlet. “I didn’t, either.”

“I’m old enough to know better, though,” he murmured, feeling venerable and protective as he stared down at her. He put his hands in his pockets with a long sigh. “I came up here to see if we might get on a different footing. A friendly footing, without all these physical complications.” He laughed softly. “I suppose you noticed how well I succeeded.”

“Yes,” she murmured tongue in cheek. She recalled everything she’d let him do and went scarlet, dropping her embarrassed eyes.

“None of that,” he chided. “You’re a woman now, not a little girl. Nothing we did would make you pregnant.”

“I know that!” she burst out, feverishly avoiding his mocking gaze.

“I just wanted to reassure you.” He stretched lazily, very masculine with his shirt unbuttoned and his hair mussed. Very disturbing, watching her that way. “No one will ever know what we did in here,” he added. “Just you and me. That makes it a very private thing, Mari.”

“Yes.” She glanced up and then down again. “I hope you don’t think I do that with just anyone.”

“I don’t think that at all.” He bent and brushed his lips gently over her forehead. “It’s very exciting being the first,” he whispered. “Even in this way.”

Her face felt hot as she looked up into lazy, warm eyes. “I’m glad it was with you.”

---