Page 58 of The Rancher's Wedding

“But Michael—”

“What I’m saying, Estelle, is that I’m not ready to hear it right now, whatever it is. I just spent a day with my brother, the whole time worried that something might go wrong. I don’t want to do that again. You just be you. I don’t need to know anything else about you, other than you’re here with me right now. Because that’s all that matters to me at this moment.”

Then again, maybe she wouldn’t be able to mail the letter.

“Fine,” Estelle said. “Maybe at the end of the day?”

Michael nodded. “Maybe over supper sounds good.”

They arrived at the field, and Michael pointed to the ground. “How do potatoes sound?”

“They sound good.” They really did sound good, but Estelle was disappointed that she couldn’t get it out. But Michael had told her he wasn’t ready—telling him now would only increase the chances of him reacting badly.

“Okay, we’re going to pull the good ones from the ground. You can cook a few and we’ll bring the rest into town to sell at the market.”

Estelle forced a smile. In truth, it did sound like something she would enjoy. It was just now she couldn’t get her lies out of her head.

The entire time as Michael showed her the process, taking the shovel and digging them out one at a time, her mind was elsewhere, thinking about the different ways she could tell him and how he would react.

He told her there was nothing she could say that would shock him, but how could he anticipate that she was arranged to be married and he could possibly receive an unexpected visit from that man? There was no telling what Ethan would do, either. Yes, one on one, if it came down to a fight, Michael would win every time, but that wasn’t how it would play out. Estelle knew Michael wouldn’t fight anybody. He was too kind and as much as she wanted to believe that he would defend her and keep her safe, she wasn’t sure that he would.

What she worried most of all was that her father had a legal agreement with Ethan’s father. And she had no idea what that meant. Was what she did somehow illegal? In the back of her mind, she felt guilty. She had disappointed her father and, growing up, that was something she was taught never to do. He’d raised her and ensured she never went hungry and always had whatever it was she wanted.

Is this how she was repaying him?

But, no, she couldn’t let herself feel guilty. She was doing what she needed to do to be happy. And if her father didn’t want her to be happy, well, too bad for him. This was her choice to make and she made it.

She just hoped that Michael would be on her side, as well.

***

That night, Estelle, Michael, and Jacob ate their dinner together. Afterwards, Michael had to tend to the horses, so Estelle and Jacob sat on the porch together, looking at the stars.

“You haven’t told him yet, have you?” Jacob asked.

“I tried,” Estelle said. “I really tried. He said he wasn’t ready to hear it. Then, by the time we got back, I was too tired to have a full conversation about everything from my past.”

“I know you’re not looking for no advice from me,” Jacob said, “but maybe you need to tell him whether he’s ready for it or not. The way I see it, you’re going to want to be the one to tell him—if he finds out from someone else, it’s going to be much worse.”

Was that a threat? It sounded like it could be a thinly veiled threat, but that wasn’t like Jacob at all.

“Do you mean you’re going to tell him?”

“Well, I think it’s a bit unfair for you to ask me to keep a secret from my only brother, but I’m still not planning on telling him anything. I suspect your pa’s getting mighty tired of waiting for you to come home on your own and, sooner or later, he’s going to take things into his own hands. And it could be any day now.”

Estelle knew he was right.

“How do I do it?” she asked.

“You just open your mouth and let it all come out. Secrets are fragile things. Once you tell a little bit of it, the rest’ll start pouring out. He’ll ask questions and you’ll fill in the blanks and, before you know it, it won’t be a secret anymore and you’ll wished you had told him earlier.”

Estelle thought about it for a moment.

“I’ll make you a deal,” she said.

“I’m listening.”

“I will tell Michael everything on one condition.”

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