Page 33 of ForeverMN

I nod, knowing what she means, and trying to let go of the guilt I have been holding onto. “I know. Sometimes it felt like the pain would never stop, and I’m thankful I had you both there.”

Lux reaches out and gently squeezes my arm before I wrap my arms around her. When I pull back we both have tears in our eyes. She glances at the auto body shop before looking back at me.

“They’re leaving again tomorrow.”

I knew already, but hearing it confirmed makes my stomach twist. “How bad is it really?”

“Bad. Maybe even worse than last time, if that’s possible. It’s not just warring families anymore, the magnitude of how large these groups are is unthinkable,” Lux exhales slowly, before wiping a tear from under her eyes.

I wrap my arms around her, never forgetting the awful experience that Lux had before she was taken into Rogue. These missions, and being back in New York, are more difficult for her than the rest of us.

“Watch out for them for me?”

She gives me a small smile and squeezes my hand. “Always. Be safe here too. Keep an eye out on everything.”

I nod, feeling that same sense of dread and awareness seep into my bones as before. Lux walks back towards the shop and I keep going to my car before jumping in. With one last look over my shoulder I make my way north and out of town.

I found my favorite hiking trail, by accident, off a dirt county road. It technically does not fall within the town limits of Savage Lakes, but neither does it border the neighboring town. I looked all over Matt’s maps on the area, and since no one has ever told me I couldn’t be here, it’s become my favorite hiking trail. I driveabout a mile before there is an inlet where, after parking, I grab my bag and make sure I have my cell phone with me. The hike up to the ridge itself is about three miles, then another two to my favorite look out point.

Cutting through the brush, my feet kick up rocks, while I take in the sights and sounds. With the early spring weather, the birds are making the most noise in the silence around me. I can feel my blood pound in my veins while I breathe in deeply and exhale. My mind stops whirling and the worry I’ve been carrying around starts to lessen. By the time I reach the lookout point, I’m starting to feel better. Once my eyes can see the town lights and the sparkling nearby river, peace descends into my bones. I can pretend here. My mind conjures up the long drive that leads to a large house on this bluff. Half cabin, half brick. Dark enough to fade into its surroundings, but with enough floor to ceiling windows that to let light in. Enough rooms for kids that look like a combination of Ciaran and me, and for our families that visit and stay often. I’d stand by our master bedroom window each night, rocking our baby until they’re too big to be carried, and then it will just be us, old, holding our coffee mugs and still enjoying the view below.

It’s the future I envision, the one I dream about. Once this is over, and I can bare my heart and soul to Ciaran, I hope we can start here. This dream keeps me from sinking into despair. Even when I see that black Rogue helicopter taking off in the distance, I breathe through the pain, pushing away all the doubts and letting hope and love push through my heart. They will be okay. Ciaran will be back. I can’t give up. I will never give up on our happy ending.

Ciaran

Everyone is running on fumes, to the point that our minor victory is barely keeping us afloat. It’s been two months since we made our last descent into New York. Two months of being on our toes, always feeling steps behind the enemy. Rogue has held out, and somehow, by what feels like a miracle, our town and houses have not been exposed. I can’t say the same for Ghost Operatives though. Despite how hard Oliver, Miles, and Nash have tried, their building wasn’t inconspicuous enough. It was demolished. Thankfully, Oliver had the sense to work with Mila and Reed beforehand, so the personal information of the people they have helped was still protected. Their personal information did not have the same outcome, which was how the enemy pulled Ainsley’s name. Nash was currently looking for places for them to disappear underground too once this was all over. And it was almost over.

Silas and Lux had managed to find records on everyone who attended the Aimsworth’s party the night we destroyed them. Who we found was not amongst guests, but one of the few staff members who had managed to escape. She had been serving cocktails, and we had assumed she was there under duress. Turns out she was the apprentice of the Surgeon. Our plan for the night is set, and we’re hoping to capture her alive in order to use her as bait to get the real mastermind, the Chemist.

Even as tired as I am, the thrill of the chase for tonight is giving me an adrenaline boost. Knowing that once this is over we are closer to being able to go home is keeping me awake more than any shot of espresso could. I’m ready to be done here. This war will continue over years, in different states, different countries, always with a new villain. Saylor is in Minnesota. She is my home, and after the way I left things, I can only hope she still wants me as much as I have always wanted her.

The months apart have given me clarity. Her steady presence in the background, her continuous faith in Rogue, even after our break up, and her fight for us when I couldn’t move past the next day, has proven to me how stupid I’ve been. I should have listened to her when she came to see me at the hospital. I should have trusted her the way she’s always trusted me. When I see her again, I’ll hold her hand while we figure out our next steps together, because there is no way that I can live this life without her.

“Are we ready?” Kai asks, joining me in the planning room. My eyes sweep over the maps and the notes from the briefing we had earlier. All we need is for this to go well. The trap is set, literally and figuratively.

“As ready as we ever are,” I tell him, meeting his gaze head on. Kai’s expression is stoney, his eyes darkening while he runs over the odds, and our plans, over and over in his mind.

Silas enters next and scans us both. “We need to move now, if we’re making this work.”

I nod at both of them, running my hands over my sides, feeling the weapons strapped to my sides before moving them to my chest and over the Kevlar vest. “Let’s go.”

We join our team in the different vehicles that look like your average SUV. They have been built for war. Silas and Kai take off in one direction, while Reed and I head in another. Reed’s time in the underbelly of this beast we are fighting is what helpedus track down the apprentice. His ability to fool criminals into trusting him, or fearing him, is a major part of our success for this meeting. It’s just us tonight. We’re on our own, hoping we can keep up the image we’ve created for the apprentice to trust us, and not suspect we’re affiliated with Ghost Operatives. Ollie and Nash are appearing to be meeting with a high profile tech company tonight, and Miles secretly slipped off the map with his wife in order to protect her. For the most part, the guys have agreed that Rogue take the lead on this part of the mission, even though it killed Nash to give us control. Not that I blame him. If they came to Minnesota and started taking over a Rogue case, I would feel the same way. In the end, he realized that we still out number his team and we still have the element of surprise that GO lost.

We drive into the city before turning and going down roads that lead to an underground network. If everything has worked out, the apprentice should be there and waiting.

“What’s our plan if the Chemist doesn’t show tonight?” Reed questions while we start to approach our destination.

“The Chemist will have to start looking for a new way to supply the MADAM B. So far, he’s hidden behind everyone else, and just handed over what they needed. The Chemist has never had to branch out on their own to make connections. When it happens, we move in and attack.”

Reed nods in agreement, his knuckles cracking slightly, the only show of discomfort the guy has shown so far. “We can’t stay here forever, or eventually, our presence will compromise Rogue. After we take out the apprentice, someone else will attempt to fill her shoes, while others will try to figure out who took her down in order to avoid the same fate.”

I glance at Reed, while my stomach twists. “I know. As shitty as it is, New York is not our territory. And we can’t put allour targets at risk. We operate reactively. GO has been working proactively.”

“Mila says it feels icky.”

I laugh, imagining the look on Mila’s face as she said it. “It will feel that way. I’m already prepared to leave feeling like we should be doing more, but we can’t. Not now anyway.”

“Yeah,” He mumbles before silence settles upon us once more. We both grow tense the further we go underground. All I can do is hope that Kai and Silas made it to their positions, and that they are ready and set up to manage security while also being our eyes from above.

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