Page 20 of ForeverMN

“I want it to be magical, so yes, that is the date and time of year for us,” I smile at her. Once I confirm, her own lips tilt in a smile wider than mine.

“I’m just so happy you two are finally making plans. December 4th, is booked for you. As we get closer, we can talk about catering, and all the other good stuff,” Bernice winks and I can’t help but chuckle.

“Looking forward to it,” I wave goodbye to her and head back into the parking lot. Last night’s snow still blankets the ground, but the air no longer holds the same crispness. Winter is on its way, slowly making its grand entrance. Nothing though, can ruin the absolute peace in my heart. For the first time in a year, my heart, head, and soul align in thought. I am going to marry Ciaran. I put the deposit on the venue and booked the reception to follow. I told my mom, and we picked a date to look at dresses next week. A winter wedding, one year from now. I can’t wait to tell Ciaran. I want to surprise him, and also let him know that there is finally a house I want to look at together. He may have to make some changes and upgrades, but it could be the one.

I’m so distracted in my bubble of bliss that I almost miss the chopper flying overhead. My gaze shoots up and I use my hand to shield my eyes from the bright sky. It’s all black, bullet proof, our Rogue chopper. My heart drops. Panic spreads through my limbs, and I race to my car to grab my phone. Through the window I can see my phone light up with Oaklynn’s name. Tears spring to my eyes.

I hit the answer button, “Why is there a chopper?”

“Say,” Her voice wobbles, “Where are you? I’ll pick you up, we need to go to the hospital.”

“What happened, who is it?” I slide into my car, my arms wrapping around the steering wheel.

She inhales, and I can tell it’s to choke back a sob, “It’s Ciaran.”

My world stops. “I’ll meet you there.”

“Say, let me drive you,” she argues.

“I WILL MEET YOU THERE,” I turn my phone off and slip my seatbelt into place before reversing out of the parking lot and driving to the hospital. My phone keeps ringing. Oaklynn, Mom, Mila, Oaklynn over and over while it takes me almost half an hour to reach the hospital. The entire time tears pour down my cheeks, it hurts to breathe from how bad my chest is convulsing from crying. It’s bad. I know it. Ciaran wouldn’t choose to go to the hospital. The decision was made for him. I thought things were fine on their mission. No one mentioned that anything bad had happened. It wrapped up two weeks ago so why is he know being flown in for medical care?

By the time I make it in, my hands are trembling. Thankfully the nurse takes pity on me and directs me to the area I need to go. The hallway is almost empty, except for Kai, Silas, and my dad, who are standing, their heads down.

“Oh my god,” My breathing turns choppy. Silas sees me and reaches for me first, pulling my body into his.

“He’s okay,” He rubs my back soothingly. “They just need to confirm that nothing serious was hit.”

“Our field paramedics did the best they could, but we wanted a second opinion,” Kai approaches and places his hand on my shoulder.

“He’s awake, and lucid?” I manage to get the questions out, my eyes bouncing around, trying to take in the reassurances they are giving me. “Why the freaking helicopter then?”

“We needed to get him in fast. There have been too many days in the field,” my dad finally speaks. Our eyes catch. He winces when he looks at me. Probably feeling guilty about the huge tears on my cheeks, the mascara all over my face. I’ve been a wreck since Oaklynn called me.

“Can I see him?” I pull back from Silas. My brother’s face crumbles, but he nods his head anyways.

“Don’t freak out.”

I keep his words in mind, and push my way into the hospital room. Instantly the sterile smell hits me, making me want to throw up right there. Everything is clinical looking, white, stark, plain. My gaze finds Ciaran’s immediately.

“Ci,” My lips wobble and I clutch my hands together. Dark bruises cover the side of his face, and a bandage is taped over his head. A patch of red bleeds through. His hospital gown is open and I see tape covering his torso.

“I’ll let you two have a few minutes,” Matt excuses himself, but I can’t move, or thank him. I’m focused on Ciaran, unable to look away from the love of my life who could have been seriously hurt. Was hurt, but survived.

“It looks worse than it is,” Ciaran jokes, but his laugh breaks off in a wince.

“You were shot,” I manage to work out on my own. He nods his head, his eyes falling to the blankets.

“I’m sorry they worried you. I didn’t want you to know yet,” He explains, each word hurting more than the last.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

“You want a break from this life, Saylor. I’ve hardly given you time, and now I show up injured, and probably living out your worst fear,” Ciaran’s tone is even, his face slowly masking itself. I step forward, my hand reaching out for him.

“Ci—”

“I did a lot of thinking out there,” He cuts me off. Finally raising his head, I suddenly wish he hadn’t. The blue of his eyes are flat, emotionless, cold. His gaze from the past haunts me, and I finally understand what is about to happen here. He’s trying to push me away.

“So did I,” I interrupt him, “This isn’t my worst fear, Ciaran. My worst fear is you not coming back at all. Of never hearing your voice again. Don’t do this.”

---