Page 43 of All's Hell That Ends Well

And I told myself I did not care.

CHAPTER 13

Zoe

Isat with my face turned up to the sun and enjoyed the warmth on my skin like I’d done a million times back when I’d been human, before I’d followed my demon husband to Hell and subsequently hadn’t been able to feel anything during my visits on Earth.

Nine years. Almost a full decade of not feeling the sunshine kiss my face. Because even as an angel, when I theoretically would have had all five senses available to me on Earth, I hadn’t had the chance, given that I’d been too low of rank to receive Earth-visiting privileges.

I’d never take this for granted again. The heat of the sun, the wind in my hair, the scents of summer.

Yes, even with the occasional stink of New York City wafting up, from my vantage point at the top of a tall building right next to Central Park, the smells of trees and grass and water warmed from the sun were a potent, pleasant cocktail of nostalgia.

And it was a special, new sensation to feel the sun’s rays caress my outspreaad wings, the black of my feathers all but cooking. I understood now why birds loved to sun their wings.

My feet dangled over the edge of the roof, the street below and the humans and cars rushing past appearing like mice from this height. Good thing that as a result of being turned into a winged creature, I’d been purged of any vertigo. With my luck, I’d half expected to be the only angel/demon in existence with a fear of heights.

“Are you quite done?” Haniel asked from behind me.

With a sigh, I looked over my shoulder to where he stood a few feet away, munching on a donut he’d pilfered from a shop below.

“Because if we’re not doing any more searching today,” he grumbled, “we might as well head home.”

Home.

That word reverberated inside me, evoking all sorts of conflicting feelings. Because the definition of that word had changed so drastically for me over time. Once, this human world sprawling out below me had fit the description. Then, it had shifted to Hell, and for a few years, Heaven had been the place I would have pictured when thinking of home, even if it had felt off just a little.

And now it was Hell again, more so than before.

I could already feel the pull toward that dimension. The niggling urge to return to the realm that was intertwined with my very being. I hadn’t noticed any weakening of my powers yet, though being on Earth in general did feel entirely different from being in Hell, in terms of energy.

In Hell, it was as if the realm itself breathed through me, with me, connected to me on a cellular level. The sensation was one of constant back-and-forth of energy, flowing like waves in the ocean.

Here on Earth, on the other hand, I felt almost a bit disconnected, cut off from the steady flow of energy in this world. It was like I was an interloper, in a way, an energetic oddity in a world not made for me.

Which was why, even though I had immensely enjoyed being back on Earth and experiencing this realm with all of my senses again, I was surprisingly looking forward to returning to Hell.

Of course, the fact that I’d be rid of grumpy Haniel did play into this a little.

We’d barely spoken during the past weeks, and he’d made no bones about being peeved that he had to escort me while I was looking for Lilith. Apparently, he had better things to do than play babysitter for me and make sure I stayed on track. His exact words.

So, yeah, I couldn’t wait to part ways once we were in Hell.

On that note, I nodded at him. “All right, let’s go.”

And without waiting for him, I pushed myself off the rooftop. A few strong beats of my wings and I caught the air current, soaring high over Central Park. The windows and glass fronts of the skyscrapers—many of them newly built over the past years—sparkled in the sunshine as I glided through the modern gorges of this metropolis, the spaces between the towering buildings like canyons of steel and concrete.

Oh, it truly had been great to spend time in this city again. I’d canvassed the entire metro grid in the past three weeks, marveling at the resilience and zest for life of the people here. I’d taken special care to check every daycare, every school, all the playgrounds, the hospitals, but—predictably—I hadn’t felt the slightest stirring of Lilith’s power within me.

Which could mean nothing, and everything.

She might not actually be here.

Or maybe she was, and I’d been close to her, but Lucifer was wrong and that kernel of her energy in me did not respond to her nearness after all.

The only way I’d ever know for sure if this worked was if I did indeed find her at some point.

I honestly doubted that would ever be the case.

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