Page 43 of I Am Sin

Didn’t matter anyway.

Once they sent me away, they lost Griffin as well.

“Here you go.” Carmen slides a chocolate malt, a piece of cherry pie, and a glass of ice water in front of me. “You may need a downer after that sugar rush you’re going to get.”

I chuckle humorlessly. “My whole life is a downer, Carmen.”

She twists her lips into a frown. “I don’t like to hear you talk like that, Dragon. Everything’s fine. Count your blessings, my friend.”

Blessings?

I do have a few.

“That’s good advice, Carmen.”

I should say thank you, but I have such a hard time with those two words. Which is strange because I am truly grateful for a lot of things. Grateful to Jesse and the band for not turning their backs on me when I fucked up the tour. Grateful to Diana for letting me stay at her place. Grateful to Emerald Phoenix for seeing our band in that bar, seeing something in us that we weren’t sure anyone would ever see.

And I’m grateful that I have a few bucks in my pocket—enough to pay for some pie, a malt, and a nice tip for Carmen.

I take a bite of pie, letting the buttery crust float on my tongue for a moment. The tartness of the cherries complements the crust so well, and a scoop of vanilla ice cream would be the cherry on top, no pun intended.

I should’ve ordered a vanilla malt. The chocolate flavor is probably going to clash with the pie.

I finish the pie first. Then I go to work on the malt.

The hour gets later and later… If I’m going to call Tim, I should probably do it now.

I punch his number in.

“Dragon?” Tim says into the phone, his voice sounding like I woke him up. “Are you doing all right?”

“Did I wake you?”

“I just nodded off. But we’re good. What can I help you with?”

I close my eyes and rub my forehead. “I came close tonight. I went to a party where of course there was drinking, and a lot of pot. Things I used to allow myself. I really wanted a beer, Tim.”

“Sounds like you resisted, though.”

“I did.” I sigh. “But it wasn’t easy.”

“Nothing worth having is ever easy,” Tim says. “You know that as well as I do.”

“It’s just…” I take a deep breath in before continuing. “Ever since I got sober, and I meanreallysober this time, I’ve had these thoughts. Thoughts I’ve been able to keep at bay for so long.”

“About your sister.”

It’s a statement, not a question. Tim knows. Tim knows me as well as anyone now. I still have a few secrets, but Tim knows as much as Jesse Pike knows plus a little more.

“Yeah. I’m staying with the sister of my best friend’s wife. She’s an heiress. A beef-ranching heiress, and she’s letting me stay at her place out of the goodness of her heart. She’s not charging me or anything. She has a penthouse in this great building, and I have my own private room and bathroom, plus access to all the amenities, like this awesome workout room.”

“That sounds like a good thing.”

“Yeah, it is. I wasn’t even going to do it, and it seemed like she was just as glad, but then she kind of asked me to. Said I could stay with her.”

“That’s great.”

“Is it though?” I scratch the side of my face. “I can’t pay her. Not till the band gets moving again.”

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