Page 10 of I Am Sin

Part of me wants to just show up. If I call her, that will give her a chance to change her mind.

Seriously, why would she want me staying with her? I don’t think she does. She’s just doing this out of the goodness of her heart. And to prove that she’s not a heartless bitch, I suppose.

I pack up my few belongings, and then I head downstairs to the dining room where I grab a plate of the free breakfast—a croissant, a couple of sausage links, and a portion of scrambled eggs.

Once I take a seat, I look at the croissant. It’s crescent-shaped, my favorite phase of the moon. I could’ve eaten my fill of croissants during the band’s stay in Paris, but instead, I chose the easy way out.

Drugs.

I took two groupies to my hotel room, and they offered me heroin. I said no.

They sucked my dick.

And one of them…

One of them had a tattoo of a griffin on her backside.

I thought I could handle it.

Turns out I couldn’t.

So I shot up. Got high. Rode the fucking dragon. My tox report showed fentanyl and Rohypnol, so God only knows what else I put into my veins that night.

I fucked up years of sobriety in the middle of the band’s big break.

I wasn’t sure Jesse would ever forgive me, but he did. He even forgave me enough to let me be his best man when he married Brianna.

I didn’t deserve his forgiveness, and I certainly don’t deserve to be staying at Diana’s house.

But my therapist always says not to feel guilty when someone offers me something. That I’m worthy. That I deserve it.

I still don’t believe him, but Iamtaking it. I’m taking it for selfish reasons.

Because I want to be near Diana Steel.

She’s beautiful, of course, and I won’t deny my extreme attraction to her, but that’s not what this is about.

This is about me surrounding myself with good. It’s about me having a place to stay so maybe I won’t be tempted to go to a bar…or worse.

I finish my breakfast, grab my duffel, and head to Diana’s.

ChapterFive

Diana

I have two spare bedrooms in my penthouse. One is a little bit larger, so I like to save it for when family members come to visit.

The other is smaller, but it still has an en suite bathroom and a queen-size bed. The problem is the bedspread is pink, and Dragon Locke is decidedly not a pink kind of person.

I feel like I should redecorate it in black and concrete. Something that matches the color of Dragon’s aura, as my cousin Ava would say.

Luckily, the bedspread is the only pink thing in the room. The rest of the items are pretty neutral—light oak furnishings, including the headboard, and two off-white armchairs upholstered in velvet. This is also the room where I display my eclectic collection of art that I’ve collected during my travels.

There’s a beautiful painting of a carousel coming to life that I bought in Saint Louis, a bold print of a turquoise octopus I purchased in Virginia Beach, and an exquisite photograph taken over beach umbrellas in multiple colors that I got when I was visiting Sarasota, Florida. I doubt that Dragon has much of an eye for art, but?—

I stop myself. He’s literally in a band. I caught him humming a tune of his own composition when he was having dinner here last night. If any man I’ve met would have an eye for art, it might just be Dragon Locke.

Not that Dragon is a man that I would…

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