Page 32 of A Conflict of Interest

This situation was already three hundred conflicts of interest in a trench coat. We didn’t need Danielson finding out about another one. “Are you kidding? Huntington is as valuable a link as Lakeshore itself. Do you want Silverfield General Hospital, or do you not?”

“Ah…” He looked back at his computer. “Hm.”

“I’ll let you know once I have these drafts completed in full. If hopefully you come to your senses before then, you know where to find me.”

Danielson didn’t say anything else to me on my way out—probably too dazzled by my charisma, or maybe by my breaking the door down and looking at him like I was about to use his intestines for Christmas garland, hard to say which one—and I marched straight on to the car again, where I was still rattling around in my seat with even more anger building up explosively, and I blared Disturbed and screamed along to Down with the Sickness, pounding on the steering wheel to the backbeat, and by the time I got back to my apartment, I’d let all the anger out, but I regretted letting it out, because once it was out, there was nothing left in but feelingsad,and I hated sad.

I slumped back in the seat, staring up at the spot where the ceiling upholstery sagged above my head, and I sank lower, pulling up my phone, scrolling through my images. I’d deleted all my pictures of Kelcey at her request, but I still went scrolling through, looking for any I missed… just wanting to look at her face again.

Something in my chest jumped when I found one that had missed the bitter stupid heartache of my earlier sweep—a picture from an event in the spring, not focused on Kelcey, since I’d deleted the dozen or so that did focus on her, but she was there in the picture, a little small on the other side of a table, talking to a friend of ours. I zoomed in on her, just… looking. A little pixelated, caught from the side while she was mid-speaking, she was still perfect. Like the rest of the room fell away around her, like a picture where everything was desaturated except for one point. The only person in every room.

Ugh… I needed to delete this one too. But I’d… do it… later. I wanted to keep it forever, but… that was disrespectful to her wishes. But I couldn’t bring myself to right now, not when I was this bitterly sad and just wanted to look at even this little smudge of her face.

“Sorry, Kelce,” I whispered, staring at the phone. “Even after it’s done, I’m still being a dick and putting my own wants over yours…”

I sighed, hard, putting the phone away, picking up my things and climbing out of the car, heading into the apartment. It was so damn cold. And snowy. I hated Christmas. I needed a cave in the mountains from which to sneer at the town and curse Christmas, the whole Christmas season.

And I was shocked and horrified in equal measures when I got into the complex door and went upstairs to find my mother there, waiting outside my door.

She turned and gave me an incredulous look, like I was supposed to come here earlier to meet her for some pre-planned event we did not plan. “Anna!” she said. “What took you so long?”

“I’m Veronica.”

She waved me off. “Veronica—what took you so long? I sent you a million texts.” She showed me her phone, complete with messages sent to Anna.

“I’m Veronica.”

She waved me off. “That’s what I said. Anyway, are you letting me inside or what? I heard you and Kelcey had a fight. What’s going on?”

I folded my arms. “Ugh, who told you that?”

She beamed. “Why, Miss Charlotte, of course. She’s wonderful.”

Dammit. Of course it was. I hung my head. “Mom, go away. Don’t you have stuff to do at home?”

“Hah. Are you telling me to go be a nice homemaker? And to not interfere in things I don’t understand? That’s not very feminist of you, Veronica.”

“No, I’m telling you you’re annoying. Kelcey and I didn’t have a fight, we broke up ages ago and I just keep doing stupidthings that make it worse and I never have a chance with her again sopleasestop bringing it up,” I said, my voice wobbling, and my attempts at defiant crumbled to ash as I felt hot streaks on my cheeks. “Mom. Go away,” I protested again, and she gave me a hug, which I neither needed nor wanted.

“Oh, honey,” she said. “My precious baby. I’m so sorry.”

“Me too,” I choked. “I feel very sorry that you’re here. I wish you weren’t.”

“Don’t worry, sweetheart, I am.”

“That’s why I’m worrying…”

She didn’t leave me alone, and I gave up, opening my front door and letting her in with me, where I sat on the couch with my head in my hands and she set about making me food. Mom remained unchanged through the years… seeing someone sad and making them food. It was sweet on the face of it, but I just wanted to be alone to cry.

“Lucy, sweetheart,” Mom said, sitting next to me once the food was simmering, and I sighed.

“You can’t even wait until she’s legally your daughter to start mixing her up with your other daughters?”

“What happened with you and Kelcey?”

“Oh my god, I don’t want to talk about it,” I groaned. “Boundaries! Mom! Do you know what they are?” I shot her a look. “You’re worse than I am! Showing up at the events and trying to get Kelcey together with me… take a damn hint!”

She gave me puppy-dog eyes. “Are you mad at me, Veronica?”

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