He did have a cute little hat. I laughed, looking up at the nutcracker, thinking about Kelcey here laughing as she’d lookcloser, gushing about his hat, and I jolted when Noah slid into the seat across from me with a very awkward smile.

“You really are, uh… a really big fan, huh?”

God, I’d just been sitting here giggling at a nutcracker. He probably thought I was high. “I’d just been—thinking about something and staring off into space,” I said. “Although the little guy in red and blue is pretty cute. I mean, look at his little hat.”

He raised his eyebrows, looking over the nutcracker. “It’s a… fun little hat.”

“You think I could steal it?”

He laughed uncomfortably. “I bet if you asked, they’d let you buy it off them.”

I perked up. “Wait, really?” Kelcey would go wild over it. Not that I’d have a way to get it to her. Maybe I could give it to Anna and ask her to pass it along to Kelcey.

He strained his smile. “Do you want me to get up and go ask?”

God, I wasstillbeing weird about the nutcracker. I needed to get back on subject. “Nah, forget the nutcracker,” I said. “So—Kelcey—No. Uh. Yeah. Noah. Have you ever…” I blanked. “Have you ever… had… Christmas before?”

He blinked slowly. “Uh, yeah,” he said, after a second. “Yeah, my, uh, my family celebrates it.”

“Okay, white lights or multicolored? Because I like multicolored lights but Kelcey always says white is prettiest.”

He smiled patronizingly, folding his hands on the table. “Kelcey’s a friend of yours?”

“Ah, Christ, I mentioned Kelcey.”

“Does Kelcey also like nutcrackers?”

“She loves everything Christmas. But yeah, big nutcracker girl. Including the ballet. She did ballet growing up and still likes going with her family sometimes to watch. Told me we should go together someday and I said yes before I realized that was toomuch, and I, uh…” I stared blankly, only finally now settling in what the fuck I was talking about, and I hunched my shoulders, cupping my coffee and looking out the window. “Sorry. I kind of miss her.”

He softened. I guess admitting I was just stuck on my ex and not that I was a half-crazed nutcracker thief was better. “Things didn’t pan out with her, huh?”

“I broke things off because I was scared of developing feelings, and then I found out that just means I have feelings and don’t have her. I was just trying to fuck her and stuff because she’s cute and has a lot of money, and it was fun, and she’s good in bed, but then I kind of couldn’t draw the line between going out to get in her pants and going out because I liked being with her, and then the next thing I know,apparentlyI’m gay all of a sudden.”

He paused. “Having sex with her didn’t already make you gay?”

“Ugh—again with this. Just because I lick pussy doesn’t make me gay.”

“I, uh, I think it does.”

I put my hands up. “Well,whateverthe details, I’m gay now. So there, I said it.”

He scratched the back of his head, smiling awkwardly. “Uh… I feel like I should congratulate you? I think I’m party to something important you’re working through.”

“Thanks. Do you want to celebrate back at my place? I’d love to have every thought of Kelcey fucked out of my brain right now.”

He shifted in his seat. “Are you, uh—are you sure you want to? I mean, you’re really hot and it’s not like I’m not tempted, but at this point I’d feel like I’m getting in the middle of something.”

I bristled. “There’s nothing to get in the middle of! Kelcey and I are done. There’s nothing there.”

“Who exactly are you trying to convince?”

“I’m trying to convince you. Specifically convince you to take me back to my place, rip my clothes off, tie me up and put a vibrator inside me and fuck my face until I stop thinking about how it would feel when Kelcey would get suddenly toppy and be the one to tie my hands behind my back and sit on the edge of the couch and push me between her legs…” I hung my head. “I’m not making a very good case.”

He laughed. Seemed good-natured about it, I guess. That sucked. Meant I was being the weird one. “Getting over someone is hard.”

“Yeah… so is that a no for tonight?”

He cleared his throat. “You’re hot enough I’d regret saying no, but only if you’re sure… you’re not going to call me someone else’s name in bed, are you?”