Page 58 of A Break in Communications

“—and it will give you extra reasons to complain at me and tell me to do things for you, and you’ll have all the justification in the world to do it.”

That did it. She lay down. “Okay, I like the sound of that,” she said, and I fumbled with shaky hands to pull out my phone and dial 911. Grandma didn’t change one bit as the paramedics arrived and took us off—I felt like it wasn’t even a matter of being in shock but just that Grandma was Grandma no matter the circumstance. Complained about her arm and the rest of her life in equal measure, including telling the paramedic in the back of the ambulance with us how I was dating a girl who wasn’t as pretty as I was and who couldn’t even cook and clean for me, and I knew I really wasn’t getting over Anna anytime soon, because even riding in the back of the ambulance, I still told her,

“Grandma, please stop insulting my girlfriend.”

“I’m just saying. I could die here! Maybe I’ve got sepsis and that’s it for Grandma. And I have to die knowing your girlfriend won’t even cook for you.”

“You’re not going to die, Miss,” the paramedic said. “The injury isn’t too—”

She waved him off. “Oh, shut it, I’m talking to my granddaughter.”

The paramedic smiled politely. He was probably just happy to see her still lively and that she at least had one arm thatworked well to dismiss him. I smiled at Grandma, a hand on her shoulder.

“Anna’s just modest,” I said. “She’s actually a great cook. She makes the best three-bean chili you’ve had in your life.”

“Not if I die before she gets it to me, I won’t. Oh, forget it. I’m not dying until I’ve had that chili. Make sure you get it to me quickly.”

I’d made up the chili to keep Grandma happy. Also, what kind of incentive was that? Get her the chili quickly so that she could die sooner?

The paramedic turned out to be right about the condition—nothing that would put Grandma in any serious overall danger, just that it would take time to recover. The doctor came out of the room without too much time inspecting Grandma, and I stood up at where she smiled politely at me, an older woman with puffy white hair.

“Good news,” she said. “Your grandmother will make a full recovery.”

“And the bad news?”

“Well, the bad news is that it will take some time to heal,” she said, looking down at her tablet. “These things take longer to heal as you’re older and your bones aren’t as strong, but the good news is that it’s a nice, clean break.”

I blinked twice. “A, uh… a clean break, huh?”

“I know it sounds scary, but it’s better that way. It leaves more space for proper healing and recovery.”

Uh-huh… because that wasn’t a directly targeted attack at my personal life. I kept a smile on, because I couldn’t really explain to her that I was suddenly getting upset that the girl I was never dating had asked me for a clean break too.

Grandma was spritely, because she glowered at me as soon as I got in the room with her. “I’m not seeing your girlfriend,”she said. “Shouldn’t she be running to your side right now to help you in this trying moment?”

I cleared my throat. “She’s, uh… she’s got something big going on right now. I’ll let you know once she’s able to make that chili.”

“God, you’d better. I didn’t even think about the fact that now I have to eat hospital food. What’s the point of having a granddaughter if she doesn’t make me a proper meal?”

What was the point, indeed?

Grandma was taken care of quickly, arm in a sling and given pain meds, and I spent the rest of the evening by her side. She stayed the night at the hospital and told me to go enjoy being a kid at home alone again, and I went back to where I’d forgotten I’d left dinner unfinished out in the kitchen. Threw half of the ingredients away, spoiling sitting out on the counter, and I had a peanut butter sandwich instead, maximum calories for minimum effort. Crashed in bed, and I woke up with a heavy feeling the next morning, realization setting in.

I wasn’t getting the position. Anna had gotten a head-start on me and had made the most of it with her press release, and while I’d been spending the crucial weekend pining over her, she’d been focusing on the job. And now when I had the chance to try doing something of my own, I had to pull away to spend time taking care of Grandma.

I felt like I was going through a dream as I woke up early and went about my usual routines a half-hour earlier, making breakfast and taking it to the hospital. The roads were deathly quiet so early, so it was a strange liminal space where I didn’t even play my music, just drove in silence letting my mind spiral around the thoughts.

I was still only thirty. I was a little young to take on such a high executive role anyway. There would be more chances to climb higher in the future anyway. And there were moreimportant things than the corporate ladder… there were more chances at a promotion, but there weren’t going to be more chances to look after Grandma. This was the lesson they learned in all those Hallmark movies that Anna wanted me to go back to when she found out I spent my time looking after Grandma. It was supposed to be a fulfilling, healing realization. Why did I feel so hollow?

Obviously it wasn’t about the promotion. I knew opportunities came and went for promotions, for climbing the ladder, for career growth… I’d get another chance. A better one, too. I was a firm believer inif it’s meant to be, it’ll be.I would be more suited to whatever new opportunity did eventually come along.

Obviously it just hurt that Anna would be so far away. And I guess it was a good thing—that I needed to move on, forget about her as best I could, and that I’d never manage if we were still sticking around in the same office competing with each other all the time. She’d be moving further and further away from me, and we’d see less and less of each other, and eventually, I’d move on, find somebody else, and forget all about Anna Preston.

Right. Me. Forget about Anna Preston. Maybe while I was riding a flying pig.

It had apparently caught up to Grandma when I found her in the hospital again—not scared or fatalistic or in a lot of pain like I was worried about, but just deeply tired. The cocktail of drugs they had her on was already enough to put a horse under, and add in the stress catching up to her, the adrenaline wearing off, she barely managed to keep awake long enough to have breakfast, and she didn’t say much during breakfast. It was only when I was finishing up with her and getting ready to leave that she really said anything more than small talk and smart commentary about the hospital staff.

“Lucy, I’m old,” she said, and I stopped halfway through standing up, looking at her. I blinked a few times before I spoke.

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