She gave me an odd smile, settling onto her side in the bed next to me, propped up on her elbow. “I’ve been flirting with you since I found out you were bisexual.”
“What?” I scrunched up my face. “That was a year and a half ago.”
“Trust me, I know.”
“How—in what world has that beenflirting?You just pick fights with me—”
“By calling youdarling, pretty angel, sweetheart, gorgeous,batting my eyelashes at you, making comments about how you’re the best part of every day… backing you up against the wall, pinning you against things to look you in the eye… inviting you to sit on my lap?”
Jesus Christ. Was I an actual fucking idiot?
I burned, sitting there blank-faced, and Lucy laughed, furrowing her brow. “Honestly, you’ve kind of been doing the same thing, so I wasn’t sure if you were flirting back until your whole thing where you assumed I had a husband…”
Oh. That was why she looked at me like I was a moron when I said that. Because I fucking was.
JesusChrist.“All that time?”
“Psh.” She flopped onto her back, looking up at the ceiling, that same light fixture I’d grown up looking at. “Sometimes someone just comes along who ticks all the boxes for you, and you’re helpless as soon as you meet them.”
She remembered the exact date I’d transferred into her office. And she’d kept joking about it being love at first sight… son of abitch,she wasn’t joking.
“You… never wanted to just say?” I mumbled, looking away. “You know,hey, I think you’re cute, do you want to grab coffee?”
“I’ve invited you for coffee a million times.”
“Not as ajokeor a—” I stopped myself, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Ah, fuck.”
“They weren’t jokes.”
“Oh my god, Lucy.” I groaned, massaging my temples. “I… Jesus Christ. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. I… am… sorry.”
She laughed, turning back to her side to face me again, a glint in her eyes. “No need to apologize. You just focus on your work a lot and don’t notice personal things… plus, I’m not the most emotionally vulnerable, so it’s not like my comments all coming off like they could be jokes was an accident.”
“So… you’re…” The words felt strange, awkward in my throat. “I mean, you’re actually, you know—you—like me, and everything.” Why did I sound like I’d just stepped out of an awkward teen movie? I was so fucking bad at this.
“It was love at first sight,” she said lightly, but—I guess—telling the truth. Jesus. I guess she always had been.
“So—” I turned to face her too, my breath catching a little seeing her in the low light like this. I didn’t want to be with Lucy Masters, but—even I had to admit she was gorgeous, and it wasn’t like it didn’t do something for me knowing someone equal parts stunning and capable was head-over-heels for me.Lucy,though? Seriously? I pulled my thoughts back in line. “So, what’s your actual ploy in all this?”
“To spend time with you.”
JesusChrist,she’d even saidthatupfront. What the hell was wrong with me? I shifted awkwardly. “Do you—do you even care about the promotion?”
She raised her eyebrows. “Of course. I intend to beat you to it. Just because I have feelings for you doesn’t mean I’ll just step back and let you walk all over me, you know.”
“Enough to be willing to follow me home, lift things off my computer…”
“Tit for tat, darling.”
Darlingfelt a little different now. I wish I could have told her to stop. I guess it was… good for my ego. I looked away. “I thought you were in this whole Christmas family gathering thing trying to… insinuate yourself closer to people around Gould, and…”
“I think it would be infinitely more effective to just spend the weekend sucking up to the G&S accountholders. I just thought this would be fun.”
I slumped onto my back, staring up at the ceiling, and I groaned, rubbing my forehead. “God, I’m a fucking idiot.”
She sighed, settling onto her back next to me. “So… I take it you don’t feel the same way.”
“Well—not—no. I mean, not really. Not…” I scratched my head. That should have been a softball question. Why did I feel anxious about saying no? When I thought about being in a relationship with Lucy Masters, half of me wanted to retch. Half thought about… well. Various things.