Page 24 of A Break in Communications

“This,” I said, and I slipped my hand to the back of her neck, cradling her as I moved forward, closed the distance, shut my eyes, and the stars aligned, andthiswas that far-flung version of reality where I got to kiss Anna Preston.

She flinched when my lips met hers, making a surprised noise and curling her fingers into my hair on the side of my head, and for one breathless moment—lips quivering together, pressed firm together, sweet perfection but neither of us yielding—I thought the world would end.

But she softened her lips, and she kissed me back. I felt like I got the wind knocked out of me, breathless from the tiniest sensation of her perfect, sweet lips moving across mine, and embarrassingly, my hand shook against the back of her neck.

It was just one fraction of a moment, one break in time that felt like it wasn’t supposed to exist, one mistaken stitch in the fabric of the universe, and she pulled away quickly, flustered, brows furrowed, looking at me oddly.

“You—you kissed me,” she said.

I did? Jesus Christ, I did. I couldn’t have a breakdown here. I’d have one later, looking at my lips in the mirror wondering ifI’d imagined it. I shot her a smile, flicking my hair back. “You’re not nearly as bad as you made yourself out to be.”

“Why—did you just do that?”

I faltered. Was she—actually upset? I’d never really been sure, over all this time, if she hated me specifically or if she was just brusque—had never really been sure if she was flirting back—but this felt different. “What did you think would happen when you told me I’d never be able to pull it off, exactly?”

She narrowed her eyes, gaze flicking over me, past me, frantically around the room with its fifteen million lights. Seriously, what was with all the lights, anyway? “You really don’t stop at anything to screw with a person.”

She was actually upset. How the hell was she going to dare me to kiss her, give me permission to kiss her, and then get mad when I kissed her? Just because I was in love with her didn’t mean I couldn’t get upset too, and I felt a bubble of indignation rise up in my chest. I put on a dry smile, though, raising my eyebrow. “So, do I win this round?”

“Fuck off, Masters,” she said, spinning on her heel. “I’m going home. I drank too much. Don’t bother with the stupid fucking documents this time. Come back tomorrow if you want to beg me for them, I need a shower and some sleep.”

Seriously—ugh. I almost chased after her, taking a half step in her direction and stopping, squeezing my hands.

What a nightmare. I didn’t like winning our little competition if this was what it looked like.

I needed to go home, too. Grandma could do with a proper dinner. And I could do with someone to tell me a story she didn’t realize I’d heard a million times already.

“Oh—” Veronica’s voice broke me out of my spiral, and I looked back at where she walked past, looking after Anna. “Where’s she stomping off to in such a hurry? Did you scare her off?”

I took a long breath, and I gave her the most serene smile I could. “We’re just heading out to take our separate cars back to her place.”

She relaxed. “Oh, you’re ditching the party to go fuck. You could have just led with that.”

“If your mom asks, tell her we left for something else. Have fun with Kelcey.”

She saluted smartly. “Already did, under the table.”

“Fantastic. So glad I know that. See you, Veronica.”

One hell of a company party. And seriously, what was with all the damn string lights?

Whatever. I was leaving this damn place.

Chapter 7

Anna

I woke up with the worst hangover, and it wasn’t even from the alcohol. Just from Lucy Masters and her grimy mouth on mine.

“Fuck me,” I groaned, rolling over in bed and picking up my phone. I’d slept in late… it was a Friday off from the office today, little Christmas gift from management, hence the party Thursday night, but I’d still been planning on getting up, maybe even going into the office anyway, just something to get some work done. But I’d slept terribly, seeing Lucy’s smug face in my dreams, and I woke up feeling like I’d been run over.

I’d stormed home last night furious and spiraling over how she’d just grabbed me and kissed me like that, but now with the low glow of morning light coming in through where snow drifted past the window, I had to wake up sober with the even worse realization that I’d been the one to initiate it. Everything from the hazy dream that was that godawful party with too many damn lights, it all came into clarity with a fuzzy emotional distance like I was seeing somebody else’s memories, horrified at my own behavior. How I’d slipped a hand across Lucy’s lower back and gotten all cute and cozy and couple-y with her right after having agreed we’d play into the plausible deniability, and escalating it from there. How I’d taken her by the face and put my food in her mouth. Talked about putting something else in her mouth…

How I’d told her to kiss me. It was my own damn fault. I hated not being able to blame her, butI’dinitiated that bullshit. And the only reason I was so upset was because it had felt good, and I was repulsed by my own reactions. I’d kissed her back. Why the hell did I do that?

I groaned, pushing myself up out of bed, nursing a headache and drinking from my water by the bed. Sitting with this, I guess I just… wanted a girlfriend. Something like that. Mortally embarrassing, but here we were. I was lonely and Lucy was right that I hadn’t been with anyone in a while, and I’d had enough to drink that I guess these things just came up to the surface, and—kissing was nice. Despite her being who she was, Lucy was attractive. Kissing an attractive woman was just… enjoyable. We’d been flirting all night, even if it was just pretend. A few glasses of champagne blurred the lines between real and pretend. Brain couldn’t always tell pretend from real. Maybe my drunk brain was just attracted to the pretend version of Lucy.

I wished I could stop replaying that damn kiss in my head. Her fingers on the back of my neck, teasing in my hair. Her hand had quivered, just a little. So at least I wasn’t the only one freaked out by that. Could dish it out but couldn’t take it… maybe she could take it. All too well.

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