Page 62 of Twins for the Silver Foxes

“Were there other times?” Megan returned the picture to the table. She stayed quiet and contemplative. I took that as forward progress and nodded.

“I always came to see you on your birthday. I was at your dance recitals in high school. Your graduation.”

“I thought I saw you but Mom said it was someone else.” Her green eyes closed and she rubbed her forehead the same way I did when struggling with a problem.

“My attempts to see you usually made things worse. That does not mean I loved you any less. Or your mother. We had our differences, but I did love her.” That love faded to tolerance after all she put me through with Megan, but I never regretted our time together. “I do not regret loving or marrying your mother. I do not regret that you are my daughter.”

Her silence stretched long and taut.

“I wish I’d been a better father, Megan. You never should have been put in a position to doubt my love for you. I want to be your family.” Every word rang with truth and conviction. I’d never spoken to anyone with my whole heart, though I came close with Hannah. Did I dare reach across the physical distance and touch her? Looking at her downcast eyes and fisted hands, I continued to hesitate. “I’d like to get to know you, if you will allow me. Please give me a chance to be the father you deserve.”

I’d learned patience at an early age, and it served me well through the years. I employed it in the ensuing silence as Megan contemplated my words, knowing that perhaps for the first time in her life, she would be able to make an informed decision about our relationship that was not pre-prejudiced by her mother. I focused on her, though curiosity prompted me to look around the room. I avoided this space when she wasn’t here, offeringher privacy she’d never afforded me. Love was not a game where anyone kept score. I tried to give Megan what she needed.

“I’d like that.” She spoke so softly I almost missed the admission. When she looked up, that small bit of hope I’d glimpsed earlier shone brighter. “I’ve been mad at you for so long. I’m tired of it, Dad.”

Dad. A single word with the power to shake the pillars of my foundation. Words attempted to fail me once again. I ran through a dozen possible responses before landing on one that offered the biggest affection. “I love you, Megan.”

Her chin quivered, and she dragged the pillow tighter to her chest. “Thanks.” I offered no blame or anger for her refusal to return my declaration.

“I like these conversations with you. Is there anything else you want to discuss?”

She picked at the corner of the pillowcase, her lips scrunching to one side in a strange frown. I’ll try not to be a bitch, but I’m not calling Hannah Mom.”

A startled laugh roared out. It hit so hard that I rocked back in my chair with a hand over my chest. Megan glared at first, but then her smile appeared and she joined my laughter with her own. “Sorry.”

“No.” I waved a hand back and forth between us. “This is good. We were able to have a full conversation and no one yelled. And now we’re laughing. There is nothing to apologize for.” I swiped tears of laughter from my eyes and continued to chuckle. “You don’t have to call Hannah anything other than Hannah.”

Megan set the pillow aside and swung her legs over the side of the bed. “I like her.” Her head tilted to the side as she examined me. “You’ve changed this year. Is that because of her? And the twins?”

“Hannah has taught me that love can be unexpected and that it’s powerful enough to cross lines I never imagined.” I took herhand and patted it. “But my love for you has never wavered. You are my firstborn, my daughter. That will never, ever change.”

“Even if I decide that I never want to see you again?”

It was a challenge, and a plea, all wrapped up in one. “Even then. My love does not come with conditions. It is free. Always and forever, no matter what decisions you make.” No one ever gave me that kind of freedom. I refused to put my daughter in the same box I had grown up in.

“This might be the best Christmas ever,” Megan said, before getting up and hugging me, the embrace swift and far too short. I accepted it without asking for more and counted my blessings that she promised to try and help me mend our relationship.

“Is there anything you want to do while you’re here?”

She dragged a chair over to sit beside me and pointed toward the closed balcony doors. “Skiing? Snowboarding? Do you still have the snowmobiles?”

“Yes to all the above.” My knees ached from the mere mention of the first two activities, but I’d rather break every bone in my body than disappoint her again. “When would you like to go?”

“Tomorrow.” Standing, she stretched both arms over her head. “Today I want to decorate my Christmas tree.”

“Can I help?” The chance to make a new memory with Megan demanded all my attention. A smile that lit up her entire face bloomed. She bunched her hair into a low ponytail and nudged a box toward me. “Ornaments are in there.”

33

HANNAH

What the hell? Chad tasted like hot chocolate and regret. I shoved his chest, pushing him away from me, and scrubbed the back of my hand over my lips. “What are you doing?” Shock made me slow to react or I’d have ducked out of the way. The last thing I expected was his lips on mine. It felt wrong. Foul. I scrubbed again and took a gulp of hot chocolate. Ugh. He’d ruined the flavor forever.

What made him think it was okay to kiss me? I couldn’t believe he’d be that presumptuous. And in front of Liddy! The kiss I’d given Scott this morning was one of the rare and brief displays of public affection I’d allowed Liddy to see so we didn’t confuse her.

“It’s okay.” Chad shifted and tried to move in on me again.

“No.” I planted a hand on his chest and pushed. “It’s not okay. Why would you do that?”

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