Page 61 of Twins for the Silver Foxes

“I’m going to try to talk to her again.” I smoothed the wrinkles from my shirt and pushed to my feet. “You two find somewhere else to be. No interruptions this time.” I smiled to let them know I’d be okay. “It’s Christmas, and there’s still time for a miracle.”

The distraction helped keep me from worrying about Hannah and whether or not she would allow us to adopt Liddy. The parentage of the twins would have to be decided later. I had plenty on my plate already with my daughter. I tucked the thought away and followed the sound of thumping music toMegan’s room on the second floor. I knocked three times on her door and waited.

The music cranked up louder. I knocked again, then opened the door. “That doesn’t work on me.”

“You’re not supposed to come in my room uninvited!” Megan screamed and threw a pillow at my head.

I knocked it aside. “That rule became null and void when you barged into my room, then turned pissy at what you saw.” I walked over to the large, upholstered chair tucked in at her vanity, turned it around and sat. “We need to talk.”

“Pretty sure our relationship is already on the broken up status. You can let up with the make-up sesh.”

“One of these days, I’ll understand what that means. Until then, I have something to say.”

She tucked earbuds into her ears and thumbed the music louder, raising her brows so high she looked just like her mother. My stomach cramped. “I don’t feel like talking.”

I moved faster than she anticipated. Before she knew what was happening, I yanked the phone and earbuds away. When she screamed and tried to run from the room, I blocked her path. “Sit down. Now.” I pointed at the bed. “You had your tantrum. You screamed and said horrible things, and then you ran away. You are now going to sit and listen.”

I had no idea if shock or curiosity drove her back to the bed, but she sank onto the mattress and pulled a body pillow across her lap. The pink plaid pajamas reminded me how young she truly was, and I almost regretted my harshness. Almost.

“Fine.” She waved a hand in a careless gesture. “Talk. Doesn’t mean I’ll listen, or that it will change anything. But while we’re at it, you can tell me the truth about your relationship.”

“No.” I returned to my chair. “I’m not talking about Hannah, or my sex life. To be frank, that is none of your business. Whatisyour business is why your mother and I separated.” Thatsnagged her attention in a hurry. The fingers picking at the pillow stopped and her head lifted.

“If you’re going to tell me it was all Mom’s fault, I’m leaving and never coming back.”

“Divorce is rarely any one person’s fault.” I stopped trying to bundle up my fears and hold them hostage in my heart. My daughter needed to know the truth. “I’ll admit I was a bad husband.”

A short pause gathered between us.

“My parents, my upbringing, they both contributed to that though there are many things that made me the way I am. Things like fear.”

Megan clasped the pillow tighter and leaned toward me. Her green eyes glowed in the reflection of the firelight. “You were afraid? Of what?”

“Of love. And your mother.” I laughed low and quick. “You have her temper. I loved her, never doubt that. I feared showing her how much I cared. My parents were not emotional. I suppose they loved one another, but they never showed it, therefore I never learned. Certainly not in the way your mother needed.”

Megan nodded along with my words, and for a moment, we seemed to connect as I laid my heart bare. If this was what it meant to love, to be completely transparent and lay it all out at her feet, then I accepted the penalty.

“Youth and stupidity were partially to blame. I didn’t know what I was doing, or how to love your mother properly. When she needed my words, I gave her my silence. I pushed her away, not realizing that my silence damned us to failure.”

“You never talked about feelings while you were married. That’s what Mom says.”

“She’s right. I didn’t. But I’ve learned through time and my mistakes that emotions are part of life, part of what makes a relationship healthy. Mine reside deep.” I fisted a hand over myheart. “Bringing them to the surface and talking about them feels like death. I’m not proud of what happened with your mother. My expectations for myself, my goals, and business aspirations turned me even colder and more silent. The more she pried and asked me to open up, the more I held everything in.”

I was still guilty of that, I realized earlier in the kitchen. Change was difficult, but not impossible.

“Why are you telling me all of this now? Why not explain it years ago?” The fact that she asked proved that her anger toward me might be overcome.

“I was not ready to. Another mistake of mine. None of this was ever your fault. If I’d been more clear and communicative with your mother, perhaps we could have worked things out.”

“Yeah, right.” Megan rolled her eyes but there was no venom in her tone. “Mom would rather eat volcano rock than admit she did anything wrong.”

We could agree on that but I refused to rise to the bait of talking bad about her mother. “I did try to spend time with you. Do you remember your fifth birthday? The gray pony?”

“Splash.” Megan leaned sideways and picked up one of the few framed pictures in her room. A photo of her atop the pony filled the frame. Her wide smile held so much joy. She’d been easy to please back then, but not her mother. “Wait.” She clutched the frame to her chest. “Yougave me Splash?”

“Yes. I was at your party that year. Your mother met me at the door but refused to let me see you. She said I’d ruin your birthday and she had worked too hard… well, let’s just say I was denied my right to see you.” The gall of it burned even now. I spent years attempting to bridge the gap she created between me and Megan. I’d tried everything I could think of, even a few unconventional things that always blew up in my face.

The Christmases she chose to visit me had been my last hopes of finally breaking through the walls between us. It waswhy I hesitated to discipline her when she acted out and brought all her drama into the house.

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