Page 19 of In Daddy's Hands

Boone finally looked his way. He wasn’t smiling, but he looked a little less dead.

“I could bite him. He looks like the wimpy type. I’ve spent a lot of years carrying heavy serving trays. I could punch him in the eye.”

Boone shook his head. A small smile played on his lips. “It’s okay, baby. I appreciate it, but I don’t give a shit about Adan. He saw dollar signs and an opportunity. People don’t cheat because they found someone better. They cheat because they found someone weaker. He could never manipulate me the way he does Dad. I’m so sorry you came here.”

Jupiter’s hands lifted and fell. “It’s okay. I suppose a part of me kind of always knew I wasn’t good enough to catch your eye. It was never in the cards for me to fully own your heart. It’s okay. I’m used to being alone. Don’t feel bad for not loving me the way you wanted. It’s not your failure. It’s just me. I’m not lovable enough to make people stay.” Even Jupiter heard the resignation in his voice. This was just life for him. At least, for a little while, he had gotten to dream. Despite what he said, Boone had tried to kill himself over Adan. Jupiter would never be special like him. He wouldn’t be the one.

Boone’s expression was completely closed to him. “Is that really what you think? Do you honestly believe anything going on with my fucked-up family could possibly dampen the way I feel about you? The night you showed up and nearly killed yourself with drugs you can’t handle, just to save me, you truly saved me. I realized how completely stupid I had been to even date Adan all those years ago. He was the first Little I had ever encountered. Meeting him forced me to see myself and accept my daddy side. But that was just life, preparing me for you. You’re my person. My baby boy. You’re the one place I don’t hurt. You’re my home.I love you so much that it makes me want to tear my skin off when we’re apart. It would kill me if you decided you don’t want this.”

Jupiter had been fighting tears since the moment he learned Boone had tried to end his own life. Seeing the desperation now, in such a strong man, broke Jupiter. He swiped at the tears running down his cheeks. “I want you. Our relationship, us, we’re everything to me. I was only half joking earlier. You have no idea how much I want to go back inside and tear this place down. How dare anyone hurt you? You deserve so much better.”

“You are better. You’re so much better than anyone I’ve ever met. Nothing else matters to me anymore but us.”

Jupiter linked fingers with him. The smoke in the car had him lightheaded, but Boone needed him. “I love you. Can we crack a window?”

A bark of laughter burst from Boone. He started the car and hit the button to lower the window. “Let’s go, baby. There’s nothing here for us.”

Jupiter didn’t know if that was totally true. In spite of everything, Boone obviously loved his family, but Jupiter would be happy to be his family too. Boone and him against the world. There was no place Jupiter wouldn’t go with him.

Boone wasn’t in the right headspace to go home, nor could he face The PlayPen. He wanted to be somewhere that felt like it had only ever been touched by Jupiter and him. That was how they ended up at the playground.

Hand in hand, they made their way to the swings. Jupiter motioned for Boone to sit. “Let me push you for once.”

“I’d probably break it.”

Jupiter released a loud sigh. “You won’t break it. Sometimes it’s my job to take care of you.”

Boone gingerly sat, listening for any sign he might stress the chains. Thankfully, it held him.

Jupiter kissed his ear. “Good boy.”

“That’s my line.”

“Not tonight.” Jupiter pushed.

Boone used his feet to help him get started. He was too heavy for Jupiter to handle alone. The longer he swung, the less his chesthurt. His head still pounded a little, but the fresh air helped. Jupiter really was the best part of his life. He had felt bitter and very alone for a long time. Boone had gone through the motions and played the dutiful son while avoiding all the triggers he could.

Tonight, he had felt dangerously close to losing the new life they built. The walls had been closing in around him. He’d felt the confusion and hurt emanating from Jupiter, and he hadn’t known how to stop it. Boone had wanted to scream and rant. He had already done those things. His feelings had never mattered to anyone but him.

Boone dragged his feet, stopping the swing. He mattered to Jupiter. Boone stood. When he turned, Jupiter looked so serious and beautiful. He looked at Boone with love etched in his every feature. They were real. They were the only family he truly needed. He took Jupiter’s hand and led him to sit. With Jupiter filling the swing, Boone hovered over him, holding his hands.

“The first time I pushed you on this swing, that was the first time in years that I had a spark of life inside me. Then my hands touched yours. For a moment, I was paralyzed. I couldn’t breathe. Now I know that was life, forcing me to be still and feel. To recognize you as my other half.”

There were tears in Jupiter’s eyes.

Boone needed him to only shed happy tears for the rest of his life. They were it for each other. Boone dropped to his knees. “Tell me you’ll love me forever, no matter what.”

“I’ll love you forever, no matter what.” Jupiter’s voice quivered with power. He meant every word.

“Marry me.”

Tears rolled down Jupiter’s cheeks. “Okay.” Jupiter fell forward and pressed his forehead against Boone’s. He sniffled. His eyes were closed, as if he absorbed everything about Boone. “You have no idea how empty and alone I felt before you. How touch starved. When you covered my hands that night, I begged God for it not to stop.”

Boone swallowed past a lump in his throat. They were so alike. Meant for each other. “I’ll never stop.”

Time passed and neither of them moved. They just held on. This was where they had started. It was like they imprinted the place with love. They were the phoenix born from the ashes of his world. Boone would treasure Jupiter until the day he died. This was all he needed.

Chapter Eight

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