Page 7 of Dear John

Pushing up from the chair, I practically trampled over him to get some space. “Oh, now you care?”

“I’ve always cared, Claire,” he sighed. “I don’t know how I can make you see that. I know you may never forgive me?—”

I squeezed my eyes closed and pushed away his words. Of course I forgave him. He already knew that, but he stillquestioned whether or not it was true. The problem wasn’t whether or not I could forgive him. It was about whether he would be there for me. I couldn’t stand the thought of getting him back only to have him killed on a revenge spree. I knew he was hurting. His son died violently trying to rescue Isabelle.

He’d succeeded and left his family reeling from the fallout.

“Michael, I do forgive you. This isn’t about that. I need for this to be over. For her and for me.”

“I can’t do that,” he said gruffly, stepping back. “They killed my son. I won’t stop until every last one of them is dead.”

“And that’s why I can’t be with you. It’s hard enough to have Isabelle back, but a shell of who she used to be. I won’t spend years trying to have a relationship with someone who’s only half in.”

“It wouldn’t be like that.”

“You say that now,” I answered honestly.

“I’m here.”

“For now. You’ll find a reason to leave. You always do. And I don’t blame you for that either. I understand why you need to do this, but Isabelle needs to heal after what that monster did to her. I can’t?—”

I could feel the anger swarming inside me again and had to turn away. I was just so angry all the time.

“Claire, don’t let them tear us apart?—”

“Them? You mean Zavala,” I snapped. “He did this! He took my daughter and he did things to her that I can’t even begin to speak of. That woman in there is not the daughter I had. She actually talks about him like she still loves him! After all he did to her, she’s still infatuated!”

“That’s why I have to do this!” he shouted. “I can’t walk away, not when my little girl is still hurting!”

“And do you think going after them is going to make her better? Do you think getting revenge will do anything for her? She doesn’t even recognize the threat that Zavala was!”

“So, you want me to throw up my hands and walk away? You want them to get away with this?”

“I want my husband back. I want to heal as a family. I want—God, I want to go back in time and pretend none of this happened.”

He sighed heavily, hanging his head. “I can’t do that. I won’t stop until they’re all dead. I know that’s not the answer you want, but—Claire, they can’t live.”

I knew he would say that.There was no way he’d allow them to live, even if Isabelle was broken and needed him. He didn’t know how to be a father to her, and so he took his revenge and prayed it would heal her in time.

“Then go.”

“Claire—”

“You know you’ll get the call eventually and leave. So go now before I begin to rely on you again.”

He gave a clipped nod, but I knew it wasn’t the end. Not by a long shot. He would stay as long as he could, and then one day, he would be back, begging me to give him another chance. I so desperately wanted to. Hell, I swore to him we’d make it work.

I just didn’t know how much fight I had left in me.

4

ISLA

Breath whooshedfrom my lungs as I sat up in bed, panting hard from the remnants of my nightmare. I pushed my curly hair from my face, closing my eyes as I desperately tried to calm my breathing. My fingers dug into my blankets, but the sound of Riley laughing downstairs with Bowie eased the fear slightly.

I was okay. Riley was okay. Bowie was recovering. I could almost imagine it was just a bad dream. Shawn couldn’t hurt me anymore. He was still in the hospital, still recovering from his “accident.”

Slowly, the dream faded, leaving me shaky at best. But underneath, I knew escaping wouldn’t be so easy. After Shawn tried to blow me up, I vowed to be stronger after nearly having a meltdown. And for a while, that worked just fine for me. I really thought it was over, that Shawn made his point and was walking away.