Page 28 of Dear John

“Nothing.”

“You didn’t sit down and get to know each other?”

He started to shake his head again, but stopped. I pursed my lips, knowing it had happened. Not that a conversation was a criminal act, but all that time he was with her, they were getting to know each other, and I—I was here, completely unaware.

“Isla—”

“Let’s just…put a pin in it,” I sighed. “We could go around and around on this one.”

I turned around and started unpacking the groceries, ignoring the way his gaze dug into the back of my skull.

“I’m sorry I broke your trust.” Then I heard his footsteps exit the room and I was finally alone where I could breathe again.

10

KAVANAUGH

I was fuckingup left and right. Though I was here again with Isla, we weren’t really together. Our one night of passion was just that. There was nothing I could say or do to make her trust me right now, and it was eating at my soul.

I wanted to blame the senator for everything, but deep down, I knew I was the one who made those decisions. The blame fell on my shoulders, and there was no going back in time to fix it. I had to push forward and figure out a way to build her faith in me again.

Slamming my fist into the punching bag in the training center, I worked out my frustrations the only way I knew how. Things in my life were going just fine until the senator stepped back into my life. I always knew if I ever let him back in, it would ruin everything. And here I was, trying to make a decision that could fuck up every aspect of my life no matter what I chose.

“Whoa, chill out,” Eli said, grabbing the bag as I hit it particularly hard. “What’s eating at you?”

“What isn’t?” I grumbled, tearing the velcro on my glove and slipping it off. I grabbed a towel and wiped the sweat from my face. Fuck, I had been at it for two hours and still hadn’t exhausted myself.

“I take it this is about the senator.”

I shook my head, downing a bottle of water. “Isla.”

His eyebrows bounced slightly. “Well, it had to be one of them. What did you do this time?”

I sighed, taking a seat on the bench. “Apparently, talking to another woman is bad.”

He snorted, sitting down beside me. “I could have told you that.”

“I was being sarcastic,” I said, shooting him an incredulous look.

“Yeah, well, you should think again. Who did you talk to?”

“Olivia,” I muttered. “Isla said there were other ways to cheat on someone without kissing and touching. I didn’t realize talking was considered cheating.”

“Well, normally I wouldn’t say it is, but you are engaged?—”

“Fake engaged,” I corrected.

“And that sort of thing—being engaged, but sleeping with another woman—does tend to bother your current girlfriend.”

“It was just talking! We were just trying to get to know each other so we could make it believable.”

He chuckled at me. “And that right there is your problem. You made it believable. And if it’s believable to the rest of the world, she has to wonder if it could be real.”

“But it wasn’t real. She has to know I would never cheat on her. And talking…hell, it was just that. I talked to Olivia. It was for the job. If I was protecting her, would I not stand too close or not talk to her in case it appeared to be cheating?”

He held up his hand. “Hey, I never said it was logical, but you have to look at this from the female point of view.”

I sighed heavily. “Why do men always have to think about how women will react to certain things? Seriously, why can’t they use their brains and say,Hey, Kavanaugh probably needsto talk to this woman so he can make this believable and end it sooner rather than later.Is that really too much to ask?”

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