Page 38 of Dear John

“What?”

“Because he knew I loved you and we had a family, he was choosing to go it alone.” He scoffed out a laugh, his hands resting tiredly against his hips. He was crashing hard, and I had no way to save him. “He sacrificed his life because he didn’t want to make me lose what I had in you. My brother, my fucking twin!”he said, slamming his fist against his chest, “He pushed me away when he needed me most so that you wouldn’t have to lose me.”

Words escaped me. I blinked back the tears filling my eyes, but wasn’t fast enough. They escaped like tiny rivers streaming down my face. I brushed them away and stepped closer, pressing my hand to his arm. He spun away from me like I had burned him.

“Don’t,” he hissed. “If it weren’t for you?—”

He choked back what sounded like a sob, but that couldn’t be right. Cash hadn’t allowed me to see a single bit of the hurt he was feeling. He tucked it away and refused to let me help. But when he turned to me, I could see the devastation and anger swirling in their depths.

And I could swear that he truly hated me.

“Rafe wasn’t perfect, and you might not have liked him, but he was my brother—the other fucking half of me. And because of you, he chose to leave me. I can’t ever forgive you for that.”

“Cash—”

“I’m done.”

“What?”

He stiffened and all the emotions in his eyes fled. With the snap of his fingers, my husband disappeared and the lookalike Rafe had returned. “I have work to do.”

I stared at him, mouth gaping and unsure where to go from here. It felt like my heart had been torn out of my chest and was being put through a meat grinder. “What about the kids?” I choked out.

He sighed heavily. “Just…take care of them.”

That was it.

Take care of them. He didn’t even address them by their names. He was giving up, done with any connections to his life. All that existed for him was the mission, and until it was over or he was dead, there was nothing else.

I turned on my heel and walked out, wondering how it had all come to this. All the years we struggled to find our way to each other and hang on through the hard times, and now it was over just like that?

Not on my watch. He might have given up on us, but there was no way in hell I was giving up on him.

14

ISLA

I smiledat Rae as she waved and closed the door behind her. Everything was gone—all the security that helped me feel safe had been stripped from the house. And on top of all that, Kavanaugh lost his job. I felt like it was all my fault. He didn’t take the senator’s offer because of me, because he didn’t want to see me in danger. I knew it deep in my gut, even if he wouldn’t admit it to me.

“Well,” Riley sighed, standing beside me as we watched them pull away from the curb. “I guess that’s that.”

“Yep.”

She leaned in slightly. “Not like we really needed them. I mean, seriously, alarms go off and that’s supposed to save our lives? I could make a lot of noise if someone broke in. Tell me how that would save my life.”

“Well, obviously, I would hear you running around the house making noises and would instantly know there was no way to save you. I would climb out the window from my bedroom and shimmy down the drainpipe, abandoning you to your fate.”

“As any good sister would do,” she nodded.

“And then—when I was a good mile from the house and completely out of range of whatever psychopath broke in—I would finally stop and raise the alarm for help.”

“After running a mile, you would need water first.”

“Of course.”

“And probably a good five minutes to work the stitch out of your side. You know how you get when you run.”

“True,” I agreed. “I’d probably call the ambulance for myself first. Who knows if I would make it?”

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