Page 106 of Dear John

“Don’t even think about it.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Isla, you are sexy as hell, but not even if you were naked and pressed against my bare cock would I be able to get it up right now.”

Well, that made me feel slightly better. “Tell me something.”

“Like what?”

“Something you’ve never told anyone.”

“If I’ve never told anyone, why would I tell you?”

I thought the answer was pretty obvious. “Because it’s highly unlikely it’ll ever have the chance to leave my lips.”

His warm breath skimmed over my face and then I felt his lips press against my forehead as he held me tighter. I appreciated the gesture, even if his attempt at making me feel like we’d make it was nothing more than that.

“When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut.”

“Every kid wants to be one. That’s not a secret.”

“Yeah, but not every kid went to the lengths I did to make it happen. I was nine, and my mom was dying. Cancer. I used to watch her on the couch every day, just struggling to sit up. My dad was always at work, trying to pay the bills, but it was never enough. There were a lot of days I didn’t even go to school because I was afraid she’d die while I was gone. And then one day, she told me I had to go to school, that the principal had called and said I was missing too many days. So, I went, and when I came home…”

I cupped a hand over my mouth as tears filled my eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“I think she knew. Anyway, after that, everything was different. There was no one to take care of. I was home alone a lot, and I started dreaming of being someone else. I saw this flier in the paper about astronaut school for kids in Alabama. All a kid needed to do was write a paper on why they wanted to go, and they could get a scholarship. So, I wrote a five-page paperdetailing all the reasons I should get the scholarship. I sent it off and waited for a response. Every single day, I ran to the mailbox to check, and every day I was disappointed.”

“You didn’t get it.”

“No.”

“So, what happened?”

“My dad died in a work accident when I was seventeen. I had no money. The house wasn’t worth a damn thing with all the bills due, and I had no family. I enlisted because at least in the military, I would have a roof over my head and three meals a day. It kept me out of trouble for a while.”

“So, how did you end up doing what you do?”

He cocked an eyebrow at me. “That’s more than one secret.”

I shrugged. “I like the sound of your voice.”

Thankfully, that earned me a chuckle. “Here’s the thing. When you have no money and don’t know what it’s like to be able to afford things, you can get hooked up with the wrong sort of crowd. And once I had a taste of it, I didn’t want to let it go. I knew the shit I was doing was wrong, but…I wasn’t that kid anymore, starving and wishing I could go to astronaut camp or have a Thanksgiving turkey.”

“And that’s why you wear the expensive suits,” I added.

He huffed out a laugh. “Such a cliché, right?”

“No.” I pulled the tree skirt tighter over both of us, thankful I wasn’t alone in this container. I wouldn’t have lasted this long without him, and I wondered now why I met him so late in life when everything was about to end.

“Your turn,” he nudged me. “Tell me a secret.”

I thought about telling him about the kiss we shared, but decided to take that to the grave with me. If we didn’t get out of here soon, what good could come from him knowing? And if we did get out, then there would be all these questions that hadto be answered. So, I went with something that was equally as damning, but not related to him.

“I moved to Kansas to be with Kavanaugh, and I think it was a mistake.”

“Why?” he asked, tightening his hold on me.

“Because I knew him as a kid, but I never really considered how different he would be. We’ve both changed so much and—the attraction is there, but it all moved too fast. I’m not even divorced yet. What does that make me?”

“Someone who followed her heart. I don’t think that’s something you’ll ever regret.”

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