Page 5 of On the Double

“I guess we’ll never know,” I said, walking past him to the gravesite.

Despite the fact that this was all planned at the last minute, Rafeended up having a burial filled with men and women from OPS and Reed Security, all of them here to support Cash. None of them were here for me. Sure, they glanced my way and sent me sympathetic smiles, but they only spoke with Cash. They knew him. He wasn’t someone who had been kept in the shadows the whole time.

The minister spoke a few words, telling us of Rafe’s courage and loyalty to his country. He talked of the love so many felt for him—which I really felt was an overreach considering Rafe pissed off nearly every person he came across. I glanced around the crowd, shaking my head.

None of these people really knew Rafe. They didn’t understand him like I did. Maybe Cash and his father did, but everyone else never really knew him. I was the one who stood by him when he had a crazy plan. I was the one who infiltrated a sex trafficking ring for my husband.

And he allowed it.

Did he ever really love me? Was he using me all along to further his cause because he knew how devoted I was to him? All of these questions burned in my gut. I would never have the answers I needed. I never got the chance to ask him if any of it was real.

It felt real.

But then…then he was gone. Not a single fucking word to me in person. No chance for me to grieve for him. The anger burned brighter with every minute that passed. I wanted to feel something other than this overwhelming rage, but it was too soon. All I wanted was to escape and pretend none of this had ever happened. I wanted a different life with someone I could rely on. With someone who wouldn’t hurt me.

I was jerked out of my thoughts as Cash came to stand in front of me. I didn’t know what was happening until I heard taps playing and saw him holding a folded American flag out for me.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

Tears filled his eyes as he knelt before me. My chest tightened as he slowly lifted his gaze and stared into my eyes. “I’m so sorry, Libby.”

His barely audible words broke something inside me. A strangled gasp left my lips as with shaky hands, he held out the flag for me. Istared at it, hating what it represented. He gave his life, but I gave mine too.

How was I supposed to move on with my life when everything I knew had been ripped from me so violently? I shook my head. I couldn’t take it. I didn’t want to. I just stared at it, unable to force my hands to move.

“It’s okay,” Michael whispered from beside me. His large hands wrapped around the flag, taking it from his son.

His son.

What about his daughter? I stood suddenly, looking around the crowd for the woman my husband died for. Was she here? I felt Michael’s hand on my arm, trying to pull me back into my seat, but I was too busy scanning every face around here.

“Where is she?”

“Who?” Michael asked.

“Isabelle. Rafe’s sister. Where is she?”

“Libby, she’s not here.”

My face snapped to his incredulously. “My husband gave his life for her, and she couldn’t be bothered to show up?”

“She’s still in the hospital,” he explained.

“My husband is in the ground.”

It didn’t make sense. I knew somewhere in the recesses of my brain that none of my thoughts made sense, but I couldn’t stop the words from spewing from my mouth.

“He gave his life for her. She should have damn well-done everything possible to be here.”

“She doesn’t even know?—”

I tossed my head back, laughing hysterically. “She doesn’t know her brother is dead?”

“She’s been through a lot. We thought it best?—”

“To protect her delicate sensibilities,” I finished for him. “You’re right. It wasn’t that big of a sacrifice, after all. He only died. Which, by the way, you haven’t bothered to tell me how. Was he shot trying to escape? Did he piss off the wrong person? Was Fox there? We all know he loves to torture people.”

“Libby—” Michael pleaded.