Page 14 of On the Double

“Seriously? I live in the same house as you.”

I woke with a gasp, feeling the wetness between my legs as I stared at my brother. I grimaced, pulling the covers over my body. “What are you doing in here?”

“I could hear you moaning down the hall. We’re going to have a serious talk about when it’s an appropriate time to get off when I’m in the house.”

“I was asleep. And I didn’t get off,” I grumbled, unhappy with the outcome of the dream.

“You need a boyfriend.”

I stuck my tongue out at him and got up from the bed. “What I need is to get laid.”

I felt him stiffen as I walked past him. “Not unless I meet him first.”

I rolled my eyes, heading to the kitchen. I was starving. “I don’t need your approval to find a man to sleep with.”

“I’m your brother. It’s my job to take care of you.”

“Oh, please. I don’t remember you saying that when I was dating Marcus.”

“Marcus wore glasses and a bow tie.”

“Do you have something against men who wear glasses?”

“No, but definitely against bow ties. It was pretty damn clear nothing was going to happen.”

“Something might have happened,” I said, narrowing my eyes at my judgmental brother.

“Right,” he snorted. “The guy fumbled his words and could barely hold your hand without using hand sanitizer first.”

“He was a clean person.”

“He was spastic at best. When he met me for the first time, he almost puked, and all I did was say hi.”

Okay, Oliver might be right about Marcus, but he wasn’t a bad guy. He was nervous and I found that endearing. Right up until I realized it was never going to get any better, no matter how many times I went out with him.

“I’m going out to the bar tonight.”

“Ha!” he laughed. “Yeah, that’s a good one.”

“I’m serious. I am.”

“Okay, then I’m going with you.”

“To vag-block me? I don’t think so.”

His face scrunched up as his face paled. “Please don’t ever say that again.”

“Vag-block? What’s wrong with it? Have a problem hearing about my vagina? What about pussy? Does that bother you too?”

He slammed his hands over his ears and squeezed his eyes closed. “La-la-la-la-la! I can’t hear you!”

A devious idea rolled around in my head and I took off, tackling him to the ground when he was most vulnerable. Sitting on top of him, I grabbed his wrists and tore them away from his ears. “Vagina, vagina, vagina!”

He shoved me off him, flinging me into the coffee table. I laughed hysterically, even though my shoulder caught the edge. He scrambled to his feet, rushing to get away from me. It was too easy to tease him.

“You’re the devil!” he said, jabbing his finger in my direction.

“Yet, you walked into my room and woke me from a fantastic dream.”

---