Page 144 of On the Double

“Don’t go there.”

“I can’t,” I shook my head. “She deserves better.”

“There is no one better!” he shouted, storming over to me. He grabbed me around the neck and forced me to look at him. “She deserves you. All of you. The past doesn’t fucking matter. I know the man in here,” he said, stabbing his finger into my chest. “The man in here loves her and he would do anything to protect her. If you walk away, that man will die a little, and you’ll fucking regret it for the rest of your life.”

He stepped back, releasing me from his grasp. “Just think about it. Please.”

I nodded, breathing hard as I stared at the ground.

“You’re not your old man. Not even fucking close.”

By the endof the day, I still hadn’t decided on a single fucking thing. I went back and forth, trying desperately to figure out what todo. I didn’t want to let her go, but I didn’t know if I could be the man she needed.

And I wasn’t sure I was willing to take the chance that I could hurt her someday. I’d put a fucking bullet in my head if that ever happened. But I did need to talk to her. Even if I didn’t decide right away what I would say, I needed to get it over with. I’d flip a coin and fucking decide when the time came.

So, when she called and asked if we could talk, I knew there was no delaying the inevitable. I drove over to pick her up, wanting to be as far away from her brother as possible. I had a feeling this wouldn’t go well and the last thing I needed was her brother getting involved in any way.

She met me outside, rushing out to the truck and hopping inside. “Hey, you mind if we go to your place?”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “That’s probably for the best.”

My heart pounded in my chest the whole short ride back to OPS. I wanted to act normal, but I was too fucking terrified about what was going to happen. I just wanted to get this over with. Rip off the bandaid and bleed at the surface. It would stop soon enough, and no one would see the deep bruising inside.

Except, my plans were delayed when Rae waved me down just as we were headed to the back of the property. I rolled down the window, shooting her an irritated look. “What?”

“Come on, we’re grilling out.”

“Actually, we’re busy.”

She ignored me and walked around the front of the truck to Harper’s side, yanking the door open. “Fucking doesn’t count as busy,” she said, tugging Harper from the truck.

“Hey, I?—”

But my words were lost as Rae practically dragged Harper over to the bar.

“Fucking hell,” I muttered, parking the truck.

I got out and headed over to her, grabbing my own beer as others from the property started to gather. How had I not known they were doing this tonight? Probably because I was stuck too far up my own ass to pay attention to anything else that was going on.

Harper held a drink in her hand, but wasn’t touching it. She looked uncomfortable as hell, and I knew she was in the same position I was. She wanted to get out of here and figure out what the hell was going on between us. Only then would we be able to relax.

“You’ve gotta see this,” Fox said, tugging on my arm.

“What?” My eyes flicked back to Harper, but Fox kept bugging the shit out of me.

“Wren! She’s fucking amazing with knives, and with only like two lessons.”

“That’s great,” I muttered.

“Dude, it’s like you don’t even care,” he huffed.

I tore my gaze from Harper and followed Fox over to a section he’d designated as his training area. Wren stood with a set of knives, studying the distance from her to the tree. She flung the first one and it bounced off the tree, falling to the ground.

“Okay, well, that one needs a little work,” Fox muttered. “But watch this one,” he said, slapping me happily.

“Would you stop fucking hitting me? I’m standing right here.”

“But you’re not watching. You keep looking at Harper. Are you afraid she’s going to disappear right before your eyes?”

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